I HAVE A 3 YR OLD THAT WON'T LISTEN

Hi there. I see that u r new to mylot. First, i would like to welcome u on mylot. Now, from what you have said, i feel that ur trying to draw her attention towards you more than your husband. Well, i only have to say that you cannot force things in a relationship. All u can do is to care the most for your daughter and give her as much love as you can give to her. When she will see ur love towards her, she will naturally inclined more towards you rather than your husband. Im sure that she will start listening to you. Thanks.

I would just take away all her privliges and tell her that your going to spank her if she keeps acting this way and if she still acts like that you should spank her not hard but just enoghe for her to understand she needs to stop

You said it all yourself. "She won't listen no matter how many times I threaten her or tell her to do it." You're not following through, and she knows you won't do anything to her except make idle threats-that's why she won't listen to you. Not sure what discipline you use, but start doing what you say you're going to do. If you're not willing to spank your child, then don't use it as a threat. If you threaten with a time out, she doesn't do what you ask, then put her in time out. A good one to use, especially at that age, threaten to take away a toy. Then take it away. After a day or so, give her the opportunity to earn it back, doing some minor chore or something. Then give it back to her, and make sure she knows it will be taken away for a long time if she misbehaves again. She'll remember then that you took it away once before.

A spanking wouldn't hurt... (well it would for her=D). Every child needs discipline every now and then!

Three books for you to read all by the same Author.... which will help you tremendously. 1) The drama of the gifted child 2) For your own Good 3) Thou Shall Not Be aware I notice you mention "no matter how many times I threaten". That's an indication right there. And no - I am not talking about spankings or corporal punishment. What is it that IS most important to your daughter. Her toys? Does she have toys that are particularly favourites? Everytime she does not do what you ask you give he a choice... you say (Lets call her Lisa) "Lisa, if you do not do what I ask you to do, you will lose x toy for the day" If she doesn't budge then you say "Ok. then you lose Y toy too". And you keep going. Then where she can see you, you grab these toys and you take them out of her presence and they get locked up. This can apply to YV watching, video-games, video-game systems.. anything that has currency. Because what is currently happening with your 3 year old is that she knows that there are absolutely no consequences for not doing what you ask her to. Don't make long speeches. 10 words tops to explain what's ging on. Expect her to react to this as if her entire world has fallen apart. Do it in a way that you are sad have to do this to her, but that she has to learn that her actions have consequences. I also suggest setting up little chalk board or whiteboard where you can write down days of the week. And where she can earn back her toys if she goes for 3 days without defying your authority in an improper fashion. Also... give her the chance to some control over her life and you would be amazed at the outcome. Ask her "would you prefer to have orange juice or apple juice this morning" "Do you want the cup half full or 3/4 full?" "Do you want to play for 10 more minutes of 15" These may make no difference to you, but by letting her have control over small details of her life, it makes her feel empowered and less like resisting you on a larger scale. If she says the words "I would like to talk about what you've decided" -- Then listen. She might have a very good reason for not wanting to go along with what you've picked out for her. And if she's given the chance to speak, and treated in s respectful way, it changes the whole dynamic of the relationship.

what my mother always did, instead of spanking was the grab us by the face, like grip our cheeks in her hands and get in our face. with a 3yo it is hard to get them to listen because this is the age they are pushing their limits. they are TESTING you. You have to remember who is boss. Use a stern voice and look them in the eye and when you say somethign mean it. Dont yell, dont get mad but be stern and watch the way your voice goes up or down. I learned that drom supernanny...if it goes down at the end, it is more stern. If it goes up, it seems like a question and kids wont listen. with my daughter who is 2 1/2...if i say do something from across the room, she wont listen but if i get in her face and say NOW...she usually does. BUt be patient because when age 5 comes...they will start the mocking game...they do everything YOU do.

i have a 8 and 4 year old that are the same way

The only suggestion I could give is to consistenly disipline

well i have noticed with my 2 year old that they realise who the authority figure is and usally they nly listen to them in my house its me.let your 3 year old knows who boss do not yell at her but be firm with her.thats what i do with my daughter and it works.

hmmm..? spankys? or does that not work? try and see what your boyfriend/husband does, to get some ideas. also try to punish her. like my dad, when i was young he'll tell me to do something, sometimes he'll spank me, punish me or just completelt let me get away with it and just ignore me. but, whenever i wanted him to buy me somthing what did he do? either ignore me like i did or say one easy answer ...no.

There are to many ways to go with this topic. It really just depends on the situation and unfortunatly I didn't get enough information from you to give a really good answer, but I will do my best. First things first, kids go through phases. Has she always been this way? My son has always been a momma's boy. Always listened to me, always wanted me to hold him, etc. Now all of a sudden in the past few weeks, he is all about daddy. He gets so mad when I hold him, and now he never calls for me either..he just wants his daddy. Second, I noticed you said you threaten her when she is not listening. That is great to give them a warning first, however, if they continue, you must follow through with the discipline. A spanking, if you feel neccessary. Taking away of a toy. You get the idea. But you must do this. Otherwise, your threat..well, it's just that. It won't mean nothing to them unless you follow through. Third, make sure the father, since she listens to him, tells her she must listen to you. If she always listens to him, then she should take this into consideration. Hope these things help you out. Good luck!

dont threaten...if you do follow through because a child watches and listens to what you say and what you do. if she says no soap her mouth..dont give her a warning just do it ...if she miss-behaves give a warning and then try a time out in a designated corner or chair 1 minute per year old.. if that does not work then spank her ...I know many parents these days dont believe in it but you are allowed to spank and should give her a swat or two...no more but dont let them be soft let them be meaningful.. YOU are the Adult she is the Child you control the situation in what you say and do.. these are rules to live by and you will never go wrong by them and your child will respect you.

Are you and the childs father split up? there are so many things you can try, but first off they are only 2 years old and if the main force of discipline is you then they will always try to find ways around you or to push your buttons to see how far they can go. never underestimate your child and try to stay a step ahead of them coz they will outsmart us as parents always. threats are little good as someone said before if you dont follow through. try a reward/punishment thing, it worked for me when i was going through the same thing, if you have treats that are special for the kids then only issue the treats if they have been good and listen to you, hold the treat in 1 hand and have the other hand empty. say if you do this for mummy you will get a treat (chocolate or whatever it is) then if they refuse you say do you want a smack? they will of course say no so you say ok u can have chocolate but you have to do this, if on the third asking they are still being naughty give them a smack and put the treat away. you will find that if you are persistant with this they get the idea and you dun have to give treats any more, it is also an important activity for sequencing. ie you be naughty then bad things happen you bee good and mummy is proud and you get chocolate and hugs and there is no yelling

we've all had a 3 yr old that wont listen,if you want him to do something wait until he asks you for something then tell him he can have it if he say puts his toys away if he wont just ignore it,he'll soon get the message.

she is still too small for you to complain now ,she knows nothing than to play and cry

I'm right there with you! My 3 year old son doesnt listen to me at all! It doesnt matter what form of discipline I try..spanking, time outs, taking toys away and I always follow through with my "threats". He just doesnt seem to care! I'm hoping it's just a phase and will eventually pass..especially since I also have two 2 year olds to deal with along with him!!

dear, kids neva listen to anyone ... dont THREATEN them...love them...make them understand in a polite manner.. love them a lot... your kid will listen to you when ur kid will grow up :)

Kids get "Mother deaf" because they spend a lot of time with mom. All I can say is choose your battles, and do not expect more from her than she is able to do. Give her a spot that is her "safe spot" or "rest stop". It is kind of a self enforced time out. Explain that she is "out of control" and needs to "in control" and can do it in rest stop, or safety seat, so she is not hurting other people, or whatever like that. That works for hitting and tantrums, etc. You do not get angry or yell, just tell her very calmly "You hit the baby," or"you went across the street without a grown up" and you will need to sit in the safety seat until you can be safe in our family." If she gets up, put her back. Repeatedly. If you are telling her "Pick up your toys!", instead use a timer, or a children's song, and say, "I wonder how many toys you can pick up before this song is over" "Let's have a race". Big advice by all the experts is "Catch her being good" When you see her doing what she should or when she minds, draw attention to it, praise her. It does help. When you are doing a toy race, or a laundry race or something, post her score, challenge her to beat it the next day. When you set the timer and she minds you in a minute and a half, post that score. You are also then doing a literacy activity with her. You are helping her with time and number concepts. If picking up her toys, markers or something is a problem, take them away, let her earn them back. "I am sorry, eight markers are too many for you to pick up, we will just use four for awhile until you are big enough to pick them all up." Keep her favorite colors.I guess mostly I am saying make minding a sport.

Lets kids enjoy for sometime

you have to type it in lowercases, because when you use uppercase it means that you are shouting. About the kid, the best thing to do is play with her. Play funny games. Act like an elephant and keep her on top. play ball throwing, try to run with her and so on. That will work.