son, you're the purpose why i want to live...

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I cried last night coz I felt pity for my son. He asked me if his father always gave his monthly allowance... my gosh... I’m almost near n my age of 30 and up to now, still no savings, and still remembered the things that I promised to my dad, when I reach 30 I will be stable... son, if I am stable enough, I will not ask anything even a single centavo from your papa... if he only knew, "minsan lang magbigay ng allowance for my son"... Vince told me to tell this phrase to his papa "ma, sabihin mo kay papa, responsibilidad nya ko bigyan ng allowance" which is, I was shocked when he said that phrase, and he’s only 10 years old to tell me such kind of thing... My relatives (my mom’s side) always think that I’m selfish, addict, all the negatives traits that they want to described about me… that they didn’t know that I am not selfish to my son, I am not a drug addict and never in my life to experienced that kind of stupid thing… All I want is for the best for my son… I really love my son more than everything… If I don’t love my son, maybe, I will decide to give away my son to his grandparents because I know that they will take care of him… If I don’t love him, I will be unemployed… will not mind him because what will be the purpose to live here, I will just end this miserable life… always put on my mind that I disobeyed my parents… & having a husband with has no direction, I’d rather to live 6feet underground.