Need Advice on My Marriage!

Hi.. It seems that u r not at all happy with teh situation at the moment. And it seems that u didnot have a chance to talk things out also with ur husband...in thsi case I can advise...tlak it with ur husband...to sort things out....and u can also tell him that...u want some scurity for ur daughter..and need to do some financial planning...if he still behaves in that odd manner...in that case..if u feel that u can stand on ur own and secure urself...then please proceed in that manner...I know it can be tough...but for some ones good....some sacrifices have to be made ..

I for one could not forgive cheating in my marriage ~ it would be over. First, I don't think you have truly forgiven him for the cheating. Second...was your husband all of the list you posted as wants before this all happened? Third...the brothers have to go...you can't have a healthy marriage right now with them there... You really need to talk it out with him and probably some marriage counseling too. Good luck...marriage is all about communication...and you choose your own destiny no one else.

you must be at the hardest part of your marriage. I am also a wife and i have a husband in the special action force here in our country. During our first stage of marriage, i got problems just like what you specified about your husband. He is just like that also. and i am also Christian who happens to be a church lover and bible reader too. At first, what i did was, i just show to my husband that i am a God fearing. then second, i talked to him heart to heart the things that i do not want he is doing. he struggled to changed his lifestyle until one day he himself appreciate reading the bible and going to church with me. All i can say to you is, you pray for your husband, then you talk to him heart to heart. that as a father he should be mature enough to be an example to his family. He should be responsible to give the needs of his family. Just talk to him. and I'l pray for you...

when u said that u love him so much , now he also love u , than these problem is just a time matter . i think this is ur bad time thatwhy u are facing these type of problem . let this time to pass every things will be o.k. believe in GOD. u will come out from all ur problem and ur marriage live will be also good .

Maybe youre fed up at this point. I can understand your situation. But probably, you you don't have to surrender yet. I can see from your wishes that you are a prayerful person. Why don't you pray for him. Let God change the way your husband acts. I'm always reading a book it's titled: The Power of A Praying Wife by Stormie O'martian. Thisbook has helped me a lot to somehow put my husband on the right track. It's like constantly praying for your husband in all aspects otthis life from his work to his future. Hope you could read this book, too.

you had me at the wow part my husband does it all the damn time. Im ready to throw the computer out the window . Anyway, I think you should just come out and tell him. He may rant and rave and yell and stuff but i bet he is gonna see that you have a point weather he likes it or not.

Silence is not a good way to solve a problem, even if you pray all the time and people pray with you it still wont help if u didnt do anything.besides praying and hoping you also have to perform an act.talk to him about how u feel and how he should take a responsibility to his family.as a husband he should earn a living for his family not to mention that his brother lives with him,then he got to take full responsible

By your discussion I can make out that you are not a kid. If you want to have him back for social security and other emotions, have him back. Or else, have somebody else to fulfil your desires.

This u know is the worst thing in boys as they never take their responsibilites properly C wat i feel If u have already given him a chance then share ur feelings and if he doesnt understand this then better go for a divorced as by doing all this ur making ur life a hell as well as for ur daughter as rite now she is 4 yrs old u know wat ur daughter must be getting frustrated with all this as gals r very sensitve with all this and u need to understand her also at heart she must be feeling insulted coz of all this C if he could understand this otherwise be on ur way dont make ur daughter's life hell as she no where concern in ur mistake

why dont you have a heart to heart talk with your husband???who knows how you felt if you dont open it..you know what i think with your husband...i can sense that he suffered a lot in iraq...he wants to change his life..maybe he dont love you anymore maybe he can...or better ask your self if your happy or not happy anymore with him..if not why u stick with that relationship...focus to your daughter, what you can do for her and her future..

Wow you’v got big problem in your marriage. If he really do love you that should be willing to do what he supposed to do in marriage couple, such as conceiving each other, or find a job to afford his playing game and all of your need. But love is universal, for me love is understanding that take to satisfy our partner as well as we could. But if he couldn’t give you a comfort zone, probably he hasn’t have passion anymore, he just let himself live down without any achievement. If you think leave him will make u happy just do it. Life is too short… your career will be also get influenced. Don’t ever look back as a failed. But it was a process to be adult. Don't focus on whether you should have taken him back or not becuase that is already done. Focus now instead on what you can do right now to make things better. Love yourself and your girl more than somebody who cannot give you better place to be wife. Your child deserves someone better for a male figure. please do yourself and your daughter a favor and divorce him and find someone better!

I would suggest marriage counseling. I have a lot of the same problems that you do in my marriage, but my husband has never cheated and he does work. He just doesn't make a lot of money at this job and does play alot of video games. If he won't make any effort to go for marriage counseling then I would file for divorce. His brothers need to get out on their own or live with their mom. You deserve better than this.

i suggest you try to talk to him about it. GIVE HIM YOUR LIST. THE TURN OFFS AND THOSE YOU WANT. then tell him you'd help him change, support him, and of course do that to revive the relationship. if he does not respond, then there's a problem. make divorse your last resort.

I understand the conflict you are in dear and firstly my heart and my prayers go to youand your family. I was in and unhappy relationship for 7 1/2 years years and i ended up leaving my husband a year ago, we have a 3year old daughter. My husband cheated, I said I forgave him, but in my heart i knew the damage would never repair. I still love him, we are friends now, and our daughter isnt stressed. I would not suggest leaving your husband, but i would advise you to start putting conditions on him so as to help the family stay together. I understand you wanting to love him without this, but it seems to have gotten to the point of him walking on you because he has absolute faith that you will not leave him. if worse comes to worse you can always force him to go to marriage counselling ....... an idea i came up with now.... if he says no you can always take yourself and your child to a friends for a couple of nights and say something like well i will give you the time to think about it, because our marriage is in trouble, I want to fix it and you are gonna have to help me. I know it sounds a bit cruel, but sometimes men are a bit slow and need a bit of a kickstart and your first priority is your child..... always

You have to talk to him. You have to let him know your expectations and in turn you have to hear his. Communication is key, but don't just give up on the relationship without communicating first.

you try to make your husband believe that you love him more than any body else. even after that he does not love you it is better to divorce.

hy!you dont love your husband,only somethimes? i will tell you something but please dont be mad at me!!!pls!!! there are a lot of things in the list and your not thinking well.this is my oppinion.i mean... you said thathe plays videogame.so what?let him play.why dont you search for a game to,and play whit him.you could play together,you could have fun together.you dont have to me selfish and not let him play.talk to him and find a game that you could play together 1-2 hours.if you want to make him stop playing,then you should stop cocking and cleaning,so he can see how is it like not to do anything in the house.but its not the good solution. next..you said that..he acts like a baby!and..?where is the problem?its true..that a man has to ba a man..if he was to serrious it wasent good,let him be a kid..he will be old a lot of time...that much that you wont want to see him anymire. next...you said thathes brother live whit you.this is not a thing that you dont like at him!!!this is a fact!the fact that his brother is living whit you,its not his fault...if you dont want him there do somehing.they are argueing all the time...make them not to.they dont clean up...they dont have to.they are mans.we have to clean up not the mans.or if you want him to help you,you just tell him and he will.you just have to find the way to tell him. and the rest of the things are not about your husband!so try to think of what i am telling you becouse my husband was like yours and i maked him to be as i wanted to.he plays videogame now to.but we do have 2 videogamea that we play together.he helps me whit the cleaning,he has time for me,for the babyes,he has time for us to talk....try and lisent to me.you will see that i am right. i holp i was helping you

if your unhappy, then i think its time to call it quits. why be in an unbenefitting relasonship? its not worth the time or the energy.

My first thought is that no one should stay in an unhappy marriage. If you really do love him and have and/or are willing to forgive him for his cheating and you want to stay then you need to talk to him. Be honest about your feelings and let him know in a way that is not putting him down. Communication is one of the most important things in a marriage. Use it. A marriage takes work from both parties. If he loves you and wants to stay married then together you can work it out. But if it is one sided then nothing you do will make it work. You have a right to your feelings just like he does. You also have a right to be happy. You must love yourself enough to do what is best for you. If you let things go eventually they will blow up in your face. I don't think God inteneded for people to stay in unhappy and unhealthy stiuations. God gave you free will so use it. Don't focus on whether you should have taken him back or not becuase that is already done. Focus now instead on what you can do right now to make things better. Good Luck

You have to make the decisions for you and your daughter. Try to see what is best for both of you and make your decisions based on that and not on him. He will have to make his own decisions. If you both decide to get back together and work on your marriage - GET COUNCELLING and insist upon both of you getting councelling together and seperately. What has happened is something that will really hurt your marriage for a long time and is very hard to overcome. Councelling can impove your chances of saving the marriage and improve your marriage overall.