Help me

that is very strange you should talk to them to see where they saw this being done at or who showed them this game.yelling at them is not going to solve the problem.you need to get to the bottom of this because something is deffinatly not right they had to learn this from somewhere i would be finding out where.kids learn enough things but i have never heard of anything like this before.

Children experiment at many different ages and yours probley didn't think they were doing anything wrong, the best thing to do is to sit down and explain to them about this and let them know how inappropriate it is to be doing such thing, you have to explain it so they can understand, but I think it will be fine after you do. Good Luck.

I'm scared of what my children will be doing when they hit that age. I have 3 year old boy/girl twins and my daughter is VERY VERY curious. My dad said he found her touching my sons privates one day recently.. I mean, I'm sure it's weird to them being so young and so close in age and to each other.. they think of themselves as one being and to have different body parts must be weird. I don't know what could be done..but this apaprently, is not uncommon. I'm sorry, I'm sure youre very distressed. I can only imagine how upsetting it must be, especially since you've been making sure that nothing of this sort happens.

You've got a lot of problems with your children..°-°

Very triky situation indeed.The kids of this age behaving like this is very dificult to tackle.the explanation to kids at this age may not help much,instead,it may worsen the situation as the children may now reallise the importance of doing this.According to me,best option available is to keep quiet and forget the whole incident.Just make sure taht two of them do not meet and play alone in a house or a secluded place.Every thing will be fine soon when they growup and this will be forgotten.

Children of this age I find play games which can imitate what they have seen or heard from somewhere. Yep you MUST nip it in the bud now. You have to use explanations that they understand not as if they were young adults. I had a friend even use drawing to re enforce no touch zones. She once a day would make the kids put crosses on very basic people shapes and the kids would put crosses on it. I as a mum thought that it was a great idea as it also reinforces it for later in their young lives

I would imagine that this would be very scary for you. I wouldn't be surprised to hear of kids playing doctor but I think that the ages of 4 and 5...well I'm surprised they would've learned this so young. Is it possible that your fiances son has experienced something really bad...like molestation by someone? It seems like kids are doing things at a younger age these days though, some of the clothes that little girls wear now I just cannot believe. I think instead of just clarifying what the kids do during their "game", you should try to find out why they started doing it...where they learned it?

well i would have to say that you did the right thing on talking to the kids and asking them questions. i would say they have seen or heard this from somewhere. and you should just keep talking to them and teaching them that those places are not for others to see, or touch. i have 3 girls and my 6 year old has come home from school talking or asking about this stuff.

I suggest just talking to them calmly and letting them know that that isnt appropriate for little boys and girls to do. I would want to scre them but I would also watch what you do and say around them.

One of them must of seen something. I'm not saying from you. It could of been anyone. They could of heard it from another child at daycare/preschool. I had the same situation with my daughter and another child. But in my case we actually had to confront the little boys parents about it. They told us he was abused as a child. I have also heard that if you see small kids doing something like this or talking about it, you shouldn't yell or shame them any. Be calm, seperate the children and ask simple questions. Don't keep asking the same questions, keep it simple and only ask once. Ask where they learned it from. Then let them know that, that is not okay to do and they can't do that. Also make sure to go over other things. I think now is the time to tell them if anyone ever does touch them, they need to go to an adult. Make them feel safe with you and let them know they can come to you. Do they go to school? Are they ever alone with anyone? Do you feel this is just kids being kids? I would be alert on this subject. It doesn't mean something has happened to either one of them, but it could or it could have already. Just be alert. Just monitor it. Don't let them be alone, unless you know what every little thing they are doing.

wow, you do have problems. I suggest you go to http://www.kasamba.com/francine-carnegie She will help you out. :-)

you should make more time on his life i think.

have a big talk with your so called fiance.

Hi Brandi, The best way to overcome this is to make sure that both the kids don't meet each other for sometime till their memories about the games fade away. Do you agree ?

This discussion has started a lot of responses, and I have not looked through them all. Some people were rather extreme with you, some gave good advice. I guess first of all you know this is not that uncommon, to look at each others' private parts. Some of it sounds like they also have seen more than they should have somewhere. The more freaked out and alarmed you seem to be, the more fascination they will have, because they will see that it gets your attention. The same principle applies to saying "dirty words", it gives them power over you. Yes, you want to stop this. Tell them to save their kisses for the most special people, and right now, that would be for mom and dad. You and your fiance need to set the same tone, and the same rules. The other standard when they teach self protection at school is to teach kids that you do not let people touch (or kiss, or look at) the areas your bathing suit would cover. Some of your other responders are correct, abuse often originates with people we know and trust.

Exploration is normal. Just set them down and explain that it's not right to allow others to see your private area and definitely not right to touch someone's privates. Don't scold, just tell them gently. It's normal.

I think they are imitating something they've seen done before..as the first responder said. I think you should just sit them both down, seperately, and explain that those parts on one another are private and special that you shouldn't freely share with others.

i dont think you should worry much about it. The kids are not sexualized, they dont really see the body parts as such. Its curiosity that is making them exploring games.. if they were 8, 9 or 10 years old, i would be concerned. Right just smile and tell them not to do that. no need to give your children hang-ups from acting like kids.

this is very difficult. tricky, as well. what i do with my daughter - by the way, i don't even know if this helps cos kids are different, you know? - i always tell her that if she or anybody touches that part except during bath time to wash it - it's gonna get dirty and she might get sick. when sometimes she likes to air it out after a whole night of wearing diapers - i tell her to cover it cos it might get bit by an insect. my point is to treat it like any other part of her body that if it gets touched or dirty - it's gonna hurt. it works though. :o)

ya i understand how u feeling right now,, but just chill out,, u don have to break ur head,,everything will be fine..