Husband & Wife
@cute_missmary (3866)
United States
December 20, 2006 12:00pm CST
A father came home and found his three children outside, still in their
pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all around the front yard.
The door of his wife's car was open, as was the front door to the house and there was no sign of the dog. Proceeding into the
entry, he found an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against one wall........ ......... ......... ......... ......
In the front room the TV was loudly blaring a cartoon , and the family
room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing. In the
kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was spilled
on the floor , a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of
sand spread by the back door. He quickly headed up the stairs,
stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He
was worried she may be ill, or that something serious had happened. He was met with a small trickle of water as it made its way out the bathroom door.
As he peered inside he found wet towels, scummy soap and toys strewn over the floor. Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror and walls.
As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still curled up in the
bed in her pajamas, reading a novel.
She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went.
He looked at her bewildered and asked, "What happened here today?"
She again smiled and answered, "You know every day when you come home from work and you ask me what in the world did I do today?"
"Yes," was his incredulous reply.
She answered, "Well, today I didn't do it."
5 people like this
13 responses
@whitematter (501)
• India
23 Dec 06
ha ha good yaar, read this one
A man and his wife are driving down the road when a cop pulls them over. The cop says to the man, "Do you know that you were speeding?" The man replies, "No sir, I didn't know I was speeding." The mans wife then yells, "Yes you did, you knew you were speeding I've been telling you to slow down for miles." "SHUT UP!" the man says to his wife, "Shut the hell up, just sit back and be quiet."
Then the cop says, "well, since I've got you pulled over did you know that the tag on your license plate is expired?" "No Sir" the man replies, "I did not know that" "WHATEVER!" His wife yells, "I've been telling you to go get it up to date for 2 whole months now!" "Shut up" the man yells to his wife again! "Sit back and shut up, mind your own business!"
Curios, the cop walks over to the woman's side of the car and asks her, "Does he always talk to you this way?" "No" she replies, " Only when he's drinking!"
3 people like this
@skirvy (250)
• United States
9 Jan 07
Punishment
A man was sent to Hell for his sins. As he was being taken to his place of eternal torment, he passed a room where a lawyer was having an intimate encounter with a beautiful young woman.
"What a ripoff," the man muttered. "I have to roast for all eternity, and that lawyer gets to spend it with a beautiful woman."
Jabbing the man with his pitchfork, the escorting demon snarled, "Who are you to question that woman's punishment?"
2 people like this
@Silverchic (396)
• Australia
21 Dec 06
Very true! lol My partner is just finding out how much time and effort housework takes - and we don't even have kids! =) I'm working full time and he is on holidays so he is doing all the housework and everything...I come home to find him on the couch exhausted, saying "How do you manage to get everything done!?" lol
Moral: Never underestimate the work a housewife/stay at home Mum does! lol
1 person likes this
@cute_missmary (3866)
• United States
21 Dec 06
xactly, u r absolutely rite, the moral is quite true
1 person likes this
@ricky1209 (1675)
• India
23 Dec 06
Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you
cannot live without, but whatever you do, you'll regret it later.
You can't buy love, but you pay heavily for it
Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.
2 people like this
@cute_missmary (3866)
• United States
21 Dec 06
ha ha ha............intelligent husband
1 person likes this
@simran1430 (1790)
• India
22 Jan 07
Wedding Query........(SQL Server Stored Procedure Style)
CREATE PROCEDURE MyMarriage
@ BrideGroom Char(NotBad),
@ Bride Char(Good)
AS
BEGIN
SELECT Bride FROM Andhra_Pradesh_Brides
WHERE
FatherInLaw = 'Millionaire' AND
CarCount 2 AND
HouseStatus ='TwoStoreyed' AND
BrideEduStatus='PG orAbove'
HavingBrothers='NO' AND
HavingSisters ='No' AND
AllowRelocate ='YES' AND
SELECT Gold ,Cash,Car,BankBalance FROM FatherInLaw
UPDATE MyBankAccout SET MyBal = MyBal + FatherinLawBal
UPDATE MyLocker SET MyLockerContents = MyLockerContents + FatherinLawGold
INSERT INTO MyCarShed VALUES ('BMW')
END
GO
@simran1430 (1790)
• India
22 Jan 07
MR. BEAN ATTENDING A MEETING:
Colleague: Sorry I'm late. I got stuck in an elevator for 4 hrs because of a power failure.
Mr. Bean: That's alright, me too...I got stuck on the escalator for 3 hrs.
Spelling lesson:
Mr. Bean's Son: Dad, what is the spelling of successful....is it one c or two c?
Mr. Bean: Make it three c to be sure!
@prashanth_vv (848)
• India
9 Jan 07
yeah that's a good one.i read about such things before but this one is cool!
@ricky1209 (1675)
• India
22 Jan 07
Your wife just fell out
On a rural road a state trooper pulled this farmer over and said: "Sir, do you realize your wife fell out of the car several miles back?" To which the farmer replied: "Thank God, I thought I had gone deaf!"
@pappu2007 (99)
• India
22 Jan 07
If I imaging the husband of the lady was myself, all of sudeen I will make a laugh at her by saying good. What ever you have done tody is the best. After that I will do all the work which I was expecting from her and I will try to make house as ever I want. Its nothing serious matter to me because I think we both have equal responsibility towards our house,jobs, and about out childrens.
@inderdeep (69)
• United States
22 Jan 07
yea the moral is very true......haha
post some more good ones like this
