Do you think its too soon for me to have another child?

@megs85 (3142)
Australia
December 23, 2006 5:21pm CST
My son is seven months old. We have some bad debts, but are declaring bankrupt so we will be able to afford to live again once we dont have to pay off huge looming debts. I had some physical problems after the birth of my son (retention) and had a catheter in for over a month (they thought it was going to be permanent at one stage). The bleeding has only stopped in the past month. I have just come off Zoloft, for sever post natal depression. I WANT another child. I feel READY for another child and my partner really wants another one. Physically, mentally, emotionally...in YOUR OPINION am I, and my family, ready for another child?
5 people like this
82 responses
@Pmcbride (1081)
24 Dec 06
You said that you had severe post natal depression?, give yourself a chance to enjoy the child that you have, as with the PND you really possibly didn't enjoy all aspects of your child, if i were you i would give it another six months to a year and take time out to enjoy the child that you have, and maybe get financialy ready for another child (as the bills you have now will double, e.g. nappies, formula, clothing etc.) Remember you are still only 21 so you have plenty of time to have more kids, but you don't want to burden yourself with them - Enjoy them, take your time, allow your body to come around from the last birth, children are the best move you will make in your life, and they grow up too fast anyway so take your time, you'll feel better for it. Good luck with your financial problems and remember, take one day at a time and love your life (your kids will notice this).
1 person likes this
@Pmcbride (1081)
24 Dec 06
my kids are 6,8 & 16 and my wife & i decided that we wouldn't have any more as they were difficult for her and she was older than i was (so risks of problems were higher), i still miss my babies, my advice to you is don't rush yourself, you will have more kids and when you are ready you will know it, a gap between your kids is good because one teaches the other and makes for a closer family, give yourself some time, you deserve it! BTW thanks for the best response.
1 person likes this
@megs85 (3142)
• Australia
24 Dec 06
You deserved best response so no need to thank me for it :D I'm sorry that your wife had a hard time of it. Funnily enough I detested being pregnant but the end result was so worth it, that I am more than happy to go again :D
1 person likes this
@megs85 (3142)
• Australia
24 Dec 06
Your right. I love being a mum, but atthe start is was really hard and I could barely cope let alone enjoy it. I think hes growing up way too fast for my liking... Hes standing now :( Hes a big boy and I'm enjoying watching him change and grow but at teh same time I miss my baby. It took me almost two years to fall pregnant with him, and I wasnt veen supposed to be able to have kids which is why I am thinking of trying earlier rather than later. I dont want their to be a six year gap betweent hem or something...
2 people like this
@palina77 (1177)
• United States
24 Dec 06
No problem if you convieve now the child will born after 9-10 months later but as you had physical problem my opinion is to consult doctor before taking another child now.
1 person likes this
@megs85 (3142)
• Australia
24 Dec 06
Why is wanting more than one child greedy? No offence, but I dont think thats a valid point...
1 person likes this
@megs85 (3142)
• Australia
24 Dec 06
Thanks for the advice, I will be seeing my gp to get their opinion and get a physical check up first, and doing a lot more thinking. Probably wont even fall pregnant straight away anyway, my son was a miracle considering I m not even supposed to be able to have kids. I feel so blessed just to have him honestly...
1 person likes this
@mkirby624 (1598)
• United States
24 Dec 06
Then why not just enjoy him instead of trying to be greedy? I know that sounds mean, but just enjoy the child you have instead of focusing on having another one.
1 person likes this
@hsvgrl86 (194)
• Australia
24 Dec 06
well u should wait another few months, before u have another child because if u have only just stopped bleeding after 6 mths, and i had post natal depression, u should let ur body fully recover. because if ur body hasn't fully recovered and u fall pregnant u are increasing the likely hood of having a miscarriage. have u spoken to ur doctor about wanting to have another child so soon. i can't tell u whether or not to have another child at this stage, because i don't know ur full history etc u would be best to talk to you doctor about that.
@megs85 (3142)
• Australia
24 Dec 06
Thanks for the advice, I am planning on talking to my doctor and seeing what tehy have to say...
1 person likes this
@xXmeganxX (4420)
24 Dec 06
ive not long had a child, she is 18 months now and my boyfriend wants another one now but i dont feel like i want another one for a few years as i think its hard work im exhausted still, i have been since she was born so id wait for a while if i were you.
1 person likes this
• United States
24 Dec 06
You want one, your partner wants one. Do you think your child wants one? I don't think it's fair to the one you have now. He needs some alone time with mom and dad. I think three years is the best between children. It's very, very hard on everyone to have them close in age. Get a puppy or a kitten instead. You are young, you have plenty of time.
1 person likes this
@megs85 (3142)
• Australia
24 Dec 06
I'm not trying to take anything away from my son, I want him to have company and for my kids to be close enough in age to enjoy playing together. There is 11 years between my sister and I and as such we were never close, until after the birth of our kids...
1 person likes this
• United States
24 Dec 06
They will fight. You might just enjoy the peace and quiet for now. No matter how many years there are between them, they will fight and drive you insane. It's their job to fight and compete for your attention.
1 person likes this
@DavidReedy (2378)
• United States
24 Dec 06
OKay, I"m not a doctor, but if your bleeding has only stopped within the past month--give yourself a few months to heal at least, and really while you're making sure your body is healing, take the time to think about everything. A seven month old, and thinking of having another already... You know that's going to take a lot out of you. Let your body heal, at least a fewmonths, and as I said, think about it in that time. If you still want one (both of you, I assume) then go for it. But, wait a few months at least. Also, one would have to add...if you have to ask if you're ready for something...
• Netherlands
12 Feb 07
I have to agree with David, I would wait a bit so that you body can completely heal. You may feel fine but that doesn't mean your body is back to 100% you know? Just for your safety I would wait awhile first. Also, do you think you would like to manage two infants at one time? That could be quite trying.
@megs85 (3142)
• Australia
24 Dec 06
I think I am just excited cause everything feels so amazing right now, and I know its not the tablets because i have been off them for a month now. That feels so liberating...
1 person likes this
• India
24 Dec 06
THERE SHOULD BE GOOD GAP BETWEEN ONE CHILD TO ANOTHER CHILD SO TAKE CARE
1 person likes this
@masoud02 (176)
• Oman
24 Dec 06
Take it from me,gap between a child and another should be alteast 2years.Quran says; Those who wish to complete full lactation period for the child should wait for 2 years.This is not a must but concidering previous complication you had,i think u need to take time off until your child is at least 18 months old.
1 person likes this
@megs85 (3142)
• Australia
24 Dec 06
What do you think is a good gap in your opinion? Do you have children, what are the age gaps between them?
1 person likes this
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
23 Dec 06
Well it is hard to say to be honest But me persoanlly would wait another 6 months till you are 100% better and have all the side Problems over with But at the end of the Day it has to you to know if you are ready or not
1 person likes this
@megs85 (3142)
• Australia
24 Dec 06
Do you think the age gap between the two children would be too close? i think thats whats worrying me the most...
1 person likes this
• United States
25 Dec 06
you know you should wait that is why you are asking. just wait until your baby is out of diapers.
1 person likes this
@dholey (1383)
• India
24 Dec 06
it is mentioned in medical generals that there must be i years different between two children, if you will not follow it you will some complications during your pregnancy, so be patient and have another baby next year....
@dholey (1383)
• India
24 Dec 06
i said one years at least (there must be 1 years difference between two children)
@Acts238girl (2087)
• United States
23 Dec 06
only you know if your ready or not.my personal opinion i think you need to wait a liitle while longer until your completely healed.because your little boy definitely needs his mama.
1 person likes this
@megs85 (3142)
• Australia
24 Dec 06
I'm ready emotionally, physically i suppose the only way to find out is to try... I'm also worried about how my family and friends will react...
1 person likes this
@ravenz (423)
• India
25 Dec 06
no its good make children have fun
1 person likes this
• India
24 Dec 06
no you are not fit to have another child by some of the medical opinion between two childs there should be a minimum gap of 2 years , but you have undergone many problems its better to plan after a year, you are saying you are about declaring bankrupt , if you are aboput to be bankrupt than why are yu planning for a child first overcome that then think about child.
1 person likes this
@megs85 (3142)
• Australia
24 Dec 06
Afetr we declare bankrupt which will be before January 1st 2007, we will be financially secure again. hence why I was thinking about it soon. Just wanted to ask what research you were talking about with the 2 year age gap? I have never heard of that before...
1 person likes this
@jen20619 (1300)
• Ireland
24 Dec 06
Hi I think its great your starting to feel better and you doing better too.I think waiting alittle more time would also be good.But I suppose if yous both want to then its probly best to do what yous both feel right.
@megs85 (3142)
• Australia
24 Dec 06
Thanks for the support, we are only thinking about it at this stage, not actively trying.
1 person likes this
@Danielu (599)
• Romania
24 Dec 06
I think you should wait to estabilish your situation with money, your health problem, and after you are free to make another beautiful kid like you.
@Danielu (599)
• Romania
24 Dec 06
and Merry Christmas to you and to your family;)
@kids91911 (4363)
• United States
25 Dec 06
That all depends on you and what you want. Nobody can make that decission but you.
@Lydia1901 (16351)
• United States
1 Jan 07
It sounds like you are, if you really want it so badly then go for it.
@onesiobhan (1327)
• Canada
24 Dec 06
I think that physically seven months is really fast, especially if you had a difficult birth and/or pregnancy. Also, don't forget that you children grow more challenging when they become more mobile. You will be chasing two toddlers around at the same time and that's a lot. In your position I would wait another year.
• China
25 Dec 06
i think you `d better give birth ur second baby after one year. your son is only 7 seveth, you have to take more time to take care him. if you have the other bb too quickly,that means he have to share ur time in half.
@FrancyDafne (2047)
• Italy
12 Mar 07
Yes, to me, you are. In truth you are only 21 years old, and you became mother very early, in my country (Italia) the most part of women become mother when they are 30 and more. But you are already mother, and you seem to be a good mother (I'm joking, you ARE a good mother), so, why not to have another baby? I know that post natal depression is very hard, but I think that if your husband will help you and will stay near you, you won't have problems with another pregnancy. So, I wish you another beautiful baby like that one you already have.
@kgs_mommy (260)
• United States
9 Feb 07
Maybe this is just my sleep deprivation talking, but it doesn't sound like you're ready. In your paragraph, you stated all reasons why it wouldn't be a good idea. You only mentioned a few things that would make it ok! To me, that makes it sound like you're trying to talk yourself out of it! Either way, like they said, only you can make that decision!