Another Hilarious, but true story!!! (Please read the whole thing)

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When I was living in Iowa, I worked over the road as a traveling salesman. My route included Central Misery (oops, I meant "Missouri". I'm sure you can understand my mistake. :) Anyway, one month I was assigned to train another salesman, so I took him on my trips with me to Missouri. We would get a motel room and stay there for six days, going home one day out of the month in order to get "refreshed", take care of bills, etc. Well, this other salesman liked to party and wanted to go home for the weekend, instead of staying Friday night, working Saturday, and returning on Sunday. So, I drove him 150 miles back to Des Moines, Iowa, turned around and drove all the way back to the motel in Missouri. After working Saturday, I spent the night and returned to Des Moines to pick up the other sales trainee. As fate would have it, I had an evening appointment back in Missouri Sunday night. So, I had to pick this guy up and immediately return to Missouri. This sales rep had been partying all night Friday, all night and day Saturday, and looked like he had been run over by a truck. When I asked him to drive, as I was worn out, he declined; saying he was too partied out to be at the wheel. Reluctantly, I was forced to drive. Let me stop here and tell you about his dog, which he insisted on bringing with him every time. The dog was a Sheltie. It had been hit by a car at one time and had to have its right front leg amputated. So this little three-legged dog usually slept in the backseat and never bothered us. This trip was in the middle of one of the worst rainy seasons the midwest had ever had. Wherever we went, entire towns were washing into the river; graves were disturbed and coffins, as well as entire trees, were floating down the river. It was AWFUL! To continue the story, I had driven over an hour and my eyelids were getting very heavy. I knew I would pass out at any time, so I turned the radio on, opened the windows, and kept myself awake with coffee. We had just passed the Iowa-Missouri border, over which was a bridge. The roads were greasy and slick, but it was not yet raining. The last thing I remember is going under the bridge. The next thing I remember is waking up in the wet grass that seperated the highways. We were spinning at 75 miles per hour, on cruise control, and heading for a big culvert where emergency vehicles were allowed to cross the road. My hands were not on the wheel, my passenger had woke up and was screaming "Oh, $hi#! Oh, $hi#! Oh, $hi#!" The three-legged dog in the back seat was also awake, hopping on its one good leg in the back seat and barking. Every time the passenger would say "Oh,$hi#!", his dog would hop and bark "Arf"! As I became instantly awake and surveyed our situation, I couldn't do anything but laugh! My passenger was pale white, had ahold of the dash and door handle, and all I heard was "Oh, $hi#!" "Arf" "Oh, $hi#!" "Arf" "Oh, $hi#!" "Arf" It was too funny! Finally, I was able to pump the break, releasing cruise control, grab the wheel, and somehow steer the car back onto the road in the direction we had originally been headed....about 60 feet from the culvert! We were unscathed, as was the car. The only damage was tall grass and weeds stuck to the under-carriage and grill, and a VERY MUDDY CAR! I was so shook up I had to stop at the next exit and walk around for a while. When I was finally calm enough and ready to leave, I asked the passenger if he was ready to drive. He just said, "No. You're doing just fine", then went back to sleep when we got in the car. We got back in the interstate and drove for about an hour before I realized we were headed back to Des Moines! I was so shook up, I got on the interstate going in the wrong direction! So there it is: the funniest thing that ever happened to me on the road! Hope you enjoyed this story and are able to find the humor in it, as opposed to the "what ifs"!