Are you morally responsible to care for an aging parent in your home?

I totally agree with you. In our country where extended families living in one house is a common thing, we care for our parents until they pass away. It could be very hard at times specially if you have your own family to care for, that is why it is the son or daughter who doesn't have to work that usually cares for the parents, especially if they are sick.

ofcourse it is! 1 can never repay their debt at least here in the east we think so... although its hard to bear them when they get old but thats the real test and remember what goes round comes round u treat them well today ull be treated well tomorrow hopefully :)

Yes, she is still around, but everyday I face the very real possibility that this may come back on me in the near future. I honestly don't think I can do it again. I have a family to raise and she is very difficult. Very much like another child who is 200 lbs, needs bathroom assistance and has a host of other concerns. I just don't think I have it in me. I am scared at what my choices will me. I was miserable with the nursing choices and feel guilt.

Thank goodness another family member had the time and strength to be able to care for her mother when she couldnt. The "obligation" here is to do whats best for her mother when clearly she couldnt with 3 energetic young boys in tow. Ever try to keep 3 youngsters quiet in a house where an invalid lives? I think she was doing the best thing for her mother.

That is the real question. You nailed it, when they were lucid who were they. Were they independent? Modest? Vain? My mom didn't want to be a bother to anyone. She didn't want to be assisted with wiping her butt. She would be appalled at her situation if she knew. Thank you for that!

I too am caring for a very much loved member of my family - my brother who is terminally ill. Rather than think of what I have had to give up in terms of my career, social life etc I thank God that I have been given this precious time to make his life as comfortable as possible. Take care of your Mother with a happy heart - it will be too late for regrets after she's gone.

People ask such questions because that is what thinking people do. Question life, meaning, decisions. If you don't question life and decisions what's all this about?

My boys are 13, 8, and 6. My 2 oldest are special needs kids and I homeschool them. I am doing everything I can. I chose not to have any more children so I could properly care for the children I have. It is much different caring for an elderly woman who has psychotic episodes. She requires 22 meds a day, insulin shots 4 times a for diabetes, nebulizer inhalants 4 times a day, she doesn't eat most foods, she walks around in the middle of the night, in fact she just broke her leg and wrist in the middle of night. She needs assistance toileting and has incontinence. She wants to be in the same room as me every minute of the day. Oh, did I mention that she is hard of hearing and gets upset when she can't hear the conversation in the room. What, huh is the common things she speaks. She also obsesses about everything like a 3 year old. It is physically, emotionally, and mentally draining. She chose to not take care of her body for many years and now I (who eat healthy,& exercise) must care for her choices. I am not angry or resentful, I am just a realist. When someone chooses to not watch their weight, monitor their diabetes, eat foods that will improve health, and take care of their bodies, the results are devestating. This is no accident that she is so ill, it was years of ignorance or not caring. I feel that we all make our bed, (even our dear parents) whom I love and cherish, they don't want to be treated like children by their grown children, so when you make your bed, you must lie in it sometimes. It may sound harsh, but that is really the way I feel. You really don't know what you'd do in this exact situation. I always said I'd care for my mom or dad. Well, I am only human. Just a word of advice, if you are in your 30's-50's or so and you don't currently take care of your body. ie...eat right, exercise, heed warnings from medical professionals, this may be you someday. Crying in your soup about your children who won't take care of you. If you are obese now, imagine all of your additional fat just hanging because you get no exercise and muscle tone is gone. The skin folds now get rashes and get infected. You can't physically care for yourself, so someone now has to lift your fat to clean you otherwise the stench is incredible. Not to mention, it makes it next to impossible to physically get around when your older and weaker. Sorry for being so graffic, but you need to get a visual on what being obese will look like in old age. And I am not talking about extreme obesity. My mom was 5'9 and 200 lbs. This is what her life is like now. Take heed of the warning.