Anger management
By tammyr
@tammyr (5946)
Etowah, Tennessee
9 responses
@loved1 (5328)
• United States
3 Mar 07
For most people, there is an underlying problem. If I were you I would just try to make friends with her. Many times you will talk about what is really bothering you with a friend. Often people become angry over little things when really something else is bothering them, and they don't even realize it. Letting her know there are people who care will help tremendously.
2 people like this
@sunnypub (2128)
• United States
27 Dec 06
First I would talk to her about it. I would try to find out if she thinks she has a problem or if it is someone else in her life. Then I would ask her why she thinks this person has an anger management issue. I would want to make sure that she is not being abused. That comes first and foremost. If she is not willing to talk about it then I would keep a close eye on her.
I would also look in my local phone book to find therapists or teachers or doctors who specialize in anger management and see if one of them would come to a meeting and hold a lecture with activites to keep the girls interested.
We like to have themes for the month and all the activites we do during that month pertain to our theme. Maybe making learning about anger management a theme would allow you to do things about it all month.
A professional would be able to give you tips and ideas for activites that help teach anger management.
Do a goole search and you can come up wiht some great websties to help you also.
Here is one that I really liked because it has sections for kids and teachers. Check it out.
http://www.angriesout.com/
Good luck and just let the girl know you will do what you can to help.
2 people like this
@Bluenoser76 (57)
• Canada
26 Mar 07
Hi it is possible that Sunnypub has a pt but at 12 to 15, scarcasm is also a new skill that they are working.
Make sure that she just wasn't trying to be "funny".
It sounds like more of a "call for help" though.
Good luck.
@wmg2006 (5381)
• United States
27 Dec 06
Talk to her and make sure what she wrote is what she really meant. She may not even know what she was saying. If it is correct, then give her some help. either contact her parents or contact someone who can help her. she may just be curious about the subject, maybe someone in her family is seeking advice and she wants to know what it really is. Never jump to conclusions until you have had a face to face talk to see why she wrote that answer. Good luck!
2 people like this
@tammyr (5946)
• Etowah, Tennessee
28 Dec 06
Thank you,I did tell her we should talk about what she wrote on her paper. (i feel like it is a cry for help.) But with the holidays I haven't seen her in awhile. I also talked to mom and she said she refuses to see a theripist. I can only pray that it is just curiousity or that she will learn to work through it.
1 person likes this
@florenciascorner (381)
• United States
21 Feb 07
I think 12 years old is pretty early for a child to even think 'anger management' least of all understand it. But I do know that some children mature faster than others, so it should probably not be ignored. So far you have received quite a few good advice and hopefully you have followed through. It's good to know that there are folks like you who will take interest in our children and provide them with the help they so often need.
2 people like this
@tammyr (5946)
• Etowah, Tennessee
21 Feb 07
I am afraid she is not coming to as many meetings as she was. I have started working on the Stress less badge and the becoming a teen also so maybe some of this will help her.
I love helping the girls and have taken a special interest in these girls as they have many problems to deal with. The younger sister has moved to my troop as well, so we will see how this works out.
1 person likes this
@goldjay (465)
• United States
30 Dec 06
I would do some research at the library about anger management for children and see what resources you can find. Then, without telling anyone in the troop who suggested this topic, I think I would start a discussion about "when do you feel angry?","what do you do when you feel angry?", and then if you can find some information, I would give some strategies for dealing with anger.
Additionally, you may want to take this girl aside and ask her specifically what she wants to learn and perhaps why she wants to. Maybe she has problems herself with being angry and not knowing how to handle it. Maybe her parents are angry all the time and she wnats some advice. If you know where she's coming from, it may help you gear a Girl Scout meeting towards her feelings and needs a bit better.
If necessary, you may need to talk to the girls parents or refer her for counselling if the need is present. Hope this helps.
@tammyr (5946)
• Etowah, Tennessee
31 Dec 06
Thank you for the comment. I am going to talk to someone at the court house because some ppl have said they make some go for A.M. classes when they get in trouble for fighting, etc.. I hope they will let her go with out getting in trouble first. We will also do a badge about stress and anger.
1 person likes this
@Modestah (11179)
• United States
6 Mar 07
Twelve year olds can be such a bundle of emotions - with new hormones playing tricks on them. Wanting to be grown up but at the same time wanting to still be a little girl. It can be a confusing and frustrating time for them, and with that combination it is not too unlikely that anger arises from time to time, frustration when things do not go as you had imagined they would (girls that age tend to day dream a lot and fantasize how certain things will play out) I guess a role playing game on how to respond in certain circumstances that would help to difuse anger or prevent it all together.
2 people like this
@royal52gens (5488)
• United States
1 Feb 07
Ask for assistance from your Council. They may have trained people who will come to your meetings and give presentations to all of the girls without singling the one out. Also, privately praise the girl for clearly asking for help. She has done a good thing and has demonstrated her courage and bravery. Point out that she is "Living by the Girl Scout Law" which is a good thing.
You could work this issue into a badge activity. Is she a Cadette or a Junior scout? There are Junior badge called "Wise Decisions, Stress Less, Healthy Relationships, It's Important to Me, The Choice is Yours, Becoming a Teen", and she could earn her Books badge while reading books on anger management. As the Leader, you could adjust the requirements of the badge to encourage her to learn as much as she can. Then to reinforce what she has learned have her give a presentation to the other girls.
Cadette Badges I recommend are "Conflict Resolution, From Stress to Success, Understanding Yourself and Others and Women's Health".
I also recommend any Safety badge or activity because she might feel more in control if she knows how to handle difficult situations. I hope some of this helps.
1 person likes this
@royal52gens (5488)
• United States
1 Feb 07
Tammy, it's me again.
Keep in mind that you asked "what do you want to learn about....?" She want to gather knowledge for a school report or other paper.
I see that you have spoken to the parent and that there may actually be a problem at home. Check with teachers to see if there are any problems in that forum. Ask them how they handle situations like this. They might be able to give you some helpful tips.
1 person likes this
@tammyr (5946)
• Etowah, Tennessee
1 Feb 07
This is very good advise. I take it you are a girlscout! I have so many girls with problems. I have a abstnence program leader coming in. I don't even want to get into that! I have some thingsfor her if we ever get to meet again. We have had heat and now weather problems and might meet next week.
1 person likes this
@tammyr (5946)
• Etowah, Tennessee
1 Feb 07
sounds like you have your hands full. I thought I had troubles! LOL I applaud you for not giving up on her!
I live in a small town but have 23 girls enrolled in my troop( 5th& 6th grade) the troop that has 4th graders also has about 20 in the troop. We both only have 10-14 that show up each week. I do not juliette the ones that do not come even if it has been months. I will welcome them on the days they do show up. This makes it hard to decide what to do, and bring supplies. I let the girls decide between 2-3 acctivities that I choose and we do the one they want.
I have not asked about the abstinence or stress less acctivities I will do them as we have time.
I try to help the two I have talked about. I also have a girl that was a bully, she got kicked out of the after school program for abbusing another girl( who is the second girl I talked about) but I do not have the problem with her anymore, It was never bad in the troop, because she knows I will NOT stand for it and she will be spoken to if it does happen. The Brownie troop she was in she acted up every week! I hope it has stopped other places as well These two get to hear me sayi am proad of their improved good behavior anytime I do not have to call them out for misbehaving. I pick the girls who are behaving to hand out snacks, and papers, be group leaders for games etc, and I have had a girl or two come and say why haven't you picked me? I tell her honestly that I will only oick the girls that are sitting down, being quiet and not acting up at the time. My nonstop talker has stopped talking so much. I also did the game where you stand upa nd talk about a subject drawn out of a bag for 30 seconds.. She em, um, I a and giggled about 20 of her seconds!
I have asked for your friendship, and would love to swap ideas from time to time. I am always proud to call other leaders, and girlscouts my friends.
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