Engaged

Hey there RoRoDaBoat :) Congratulations on your engagement and upcoming nuptuals ;) Please know that you should never be "stuck" when choosing your bridal party. You should only have people that you really want as attendants and you should never choose people just because you might want to have a large bridal party in the photos, for example (trust me on that one -- I got put in as a "last minute addition" when an ex-inlaw got married because she said she wanted to have more pictures and more colors of dresses in her wedding photos! sighhhhhhh). Four years isn't such a long time to feel obligated to include a friend in your wedding party. I included a friend that I had known since I was 3 years old in my first bridal party but I didn't feel pressured to do that... we grew up together and she was like another sister to me in a way. If you are worried about offending either Friend A or Friend B, maybe you should consider not having either one of them in the wedding party -- just invite them as regular guests and let them enjoy your day that way. I really don't think that you will lose any friends because you don't put them in your wedding party :) Being an attendant is a lot of pressure on some people because it involves a ton of expenses (dress, shoes, sometimes jewellry or "required" salon services, if insisted on by the bride, shower gifts, etc.) You don't mention your age or your friends ages but, if you are all fairly young, it might not be easy for all of your friends to participate anyway. Just choose the people that are really important to you and make them your bridal party... even if it means having a few less than you are currently planning. Good luck with everything! It's a lot of planning but remember to have fun with it.

i engaged and after it i am really scared about my married life. i don't know why this is happening with me. when i asked with my mom she said this happens wih all people. i'm not new one.

Well I haven't even had to plan a wedding but I know how stressful it can be just by watching my sisters plan their special day. I think that you should just choose people that you really want to be in your wedding party, don't pick someone just because you fear losing their friendship. If a person gets mad or stops being your friend just because you didn't want them in your wedding party, well isn't that a bit silly? Try not to get so stressed over your big day, picking your wedding party should be one of the easiest things (just try not to analyse it too much) for you to decide.

Put them both in the wedding.. you can have as many brides maids as you want and you can put whom ever you want in your wedding party! IT'S YOUR WEDDING! If one friend doesn't like it because the other is in it.. then she's not a ture friend because it is your joyous day and if she don't like it TOO BAD! Hunny you should work your wedding around your friends.. they need to work around you.. it's not their big day

It is your special day and should be only what you and the groom want. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. You should have who you want to be in your bridal party. It is also more than a year away, so you have plenty of time to decide on your bridesmaids. Spend some time with them and then make your decision. Just because someone isn't a bridesmaid doesn't mean they can't be involved. They could do a reading or sing a song.

Make it easy and just put everyone in the wedding. You haven't said that you are not friends with this girl anymore. You still have a whole year to take this girl out to eat and have girl talk to see what the issue is. Maybe it is something that one of you are not aware of. There is no particular reason for you two to drift apart. Talk, have a waiting to exhale moment and have a happy engagement!

I think 2008 is way too far away to plan a wedding and depend on any friendships staying close. If you have to plan that far ahead just use your circle of friends and let it go at that. and don't fret so much over the whole wedding plan. Life is short and marriage is long. Concentrate on your fiance and getting to know him and his idiosyncrasies..

First of all, you shouldn't feel pressured to pick someone for your bridal party. Pick who you want to be there. It's your day, not theirs. You have to do what makes you happy. My wedding is in 2008 as well and I'm having trouble picking my party as well. Only because my fiance won't decide on how many attendants he wants. Our party is small. But even if yours is big... pick those who you want to be up there. Not who you feel should be up there just out of obligation.

Be very, very careful when choosing your bridal party. I was just married this October and I picked people that I thought were my good friends that would do their best to help me and make my day a beautiful one. Most of the time, things were a disaster. One of my bridesmaids was a HUGE help, no complaints there. One showed up late for rehearsal, late the morning of the wedding to get ready with us, and never helped with anything else. I ended up having to pay for two people's dresses because at the last minute they didn't have the money and I had no choice but to help them(they knew about the cost of the dress for six months in advance) and I'm still waiting to be paid back. My matron of honor decided to get toilet hugging drunk at the bachelorette party and was a wreck when I needed her most the day before the wedding and was still emotional and groggy the day of the wedding. Not exactly how I planned things to work out...in the end it was all ok, it was a beautiful day, but I took the majority of the stress and believe me I didn't need it! If you are having doubts now about someone, don't use them....trust me on this. Choose people - like family -that will be there for you and will do a good job to help you. Remember that it's your day, and you aren't obligated to invite people into your wedding party to make them happy. Do what you need to do for yourself and your future husband - that's what matters most. Congratulations BTW. :O)

Not to be flippant, but why not elope to a Las Vegas wedding chapel? Save the money for starting your married life. I will say that my best friend from kindergarten got married. We'd sort of drifted apart, but not too far. When she got married, she had one bride's maid. It wasn't me. It hurt me. We had always said we'd be each other's bride's maids. Now we talk alot, and she doesn't even see the girl who was her maid of honor.

Drop the entire party together. All you need are two witnesses to get married. when you are done invite every one over in a casual way to just have lunch with you and your husnband.It saves you lots of money and stress. Use the money you planned to spend on all the extremities as a downpayment for a house.

I think that you should put the friend that you have been friends with longer in the wedding. She may not quit being your friend if you don't but her feelings might be hurt if you don't.

as my advice is not to avoid anyone... just feel relaxed and call everyone... and congrates for ur engagement

well, the question appears to be quite confusing but is actually not if you analyse your emotions and relatiosnip with the two of your friends. Friend A is I belive more close to you as compared to friend B. So ideally, you would favor Friend A. Also, if friend B is a true friend, she will understand and not feel offended. However, if she does not you can always explain your dilema and let her know that the decision was not easy for you which is actually a fact.

At the end of the day, its yor wedding and whatever the pair of you want should be what everyone else accepts. Don't feel bullied into picking everyone

invite your friends

Is tere some reason the cannot both be included? I certainly hope they are mature enough to share in your day without problems. If you include them both in the planning of your special day, you benefit in two ways. You delegate some of the stress, and you create new bonds where there was distance before! You have an interesting opportunity here. I would love to hear how things work out!

You shouldnt have to choose which one you should put in your wedding. If you feel the need to choose, then maybe you shouldnt have either of them in it and just stick to family.(your family and his family)

hi so nice you are awaiting your engagements...i feel loosing a friend is so painful..so you should invite both and hope for the best

I was engaged some time ago. It went all downhill from there. She became instantly 'bored' and started cheating, a lot. Im glad for those of you who this works out for - all the best! Maybe next time I will have better luck.