Are Americans setting their kids up for disaster?

Yep! That's the very reason why my kids have chores, chores = allowance, and allowance gets them what they want. Now if they don't do their chores they don't get an allowance. If there is somthing they are really really wanting, they have to have the money for it. We don't give them extra, so they have learned to save. Now I have heard so many times from friends with children, how unfair this is. Are they kidding me? Life is unfair if you make it that way. But giving them a chance to earn what they want, isn't unfair IMO. Handing out all their wishes is only setting them up for a hard fall once they reach adulthood! The first time they figure out you have to work for what you want, I bet they find some illness that prevents them from working and on to Disablity they go. I don't mean to sound rude and nothing against people on it, but too many abuse it and I'm sure this is part of the reason why, parents not teaching their kids how to be responsible.

Well of course you know that this is not limited to the US, the UK is arguably worse in some respects. Child identity has changed through the ages, in the 1930's and 40's, a child apparently suddenly became an adult with no real in-between stage. In the 50's and 60's the 'teenager' appeared as their identity grew through music and popular culture. In the modern age, children are important consumers, with the parents desire to meet the childs 'needs' fuelling our debt-ridden society. The emphasis has changed entirely and the focus is now on the developing child. Toddlers must have Reebok and Nike pram shoes!! What is going on? Parents have abdicated responsibility left right and centre, the child now dictates how the family income is to be spent. It makes sense for the economy to encourage this because a childs desires are endless and take no account of ability to pay...voila! Senseless debt, millions of dollars spent on fads, pointless games and bad food, thousands more employed in these industries, popping out kids and earning more money to spend on...you guessed it... Will they be prepared?? No chance, these kids will recognise abdicated responsibility as the norm and will look to the crumbling state to help them out...where will this end... No, let's not go there.. On a positive note, what is needed? emphasis on resposibility, outlawing of loans offered to folk who have no means to pay..any more ideas??

Not only american kids but I feel kids all over the world are different from what we were and funny thing is my mom also says that they were better than us. I think its an issue all the generations have. With each generation new values set in and the other genration feels that they are too rude and do not listen. I think thats needed for the times to continuously change. if young generation would not have defied the rules we would still be living in middle ages. I read an quote once: the old believe everything, the middle age suspect everrything and the young know everything.

Why are you singling out just Americans? Do you really think that this is just a problem with Americans? That being said... Trust me if you saw my kids I don't think that you would classify them as unruly or out of control and while they are only 4 and 2 years old, the 4 year old does have chores, granted they are just little things like, making his bed, feeding the dog and stuff like that. When they get older their chores will get more age appropriate. I think the biggest problem when it comes to parenting is that people want their kids to like them, and they want to be their friend. You need to be their parents first and then their friend.

Oh I know it's crazy with how some kids are. I know my niece, who I help raise, doesn't have it like I did but at the same time she knows her manners, she knows the value of money, etc. Personally part of the problem is DCF, or child services. So many people have gone crazy with it and many people are afraid that they might be called on them even if there is no bases for them being called. I know my sister ran into this problem when my niece was 3. My niece had made a mess and then started causing a fit when my sister told she had to help clean it up. She was being very loud and throwing a temper tantrum. My sister put her in her bedroom and shut the door telling her she couldn't come out until she'd calmed down. Now my niece started screaming louder and banging on the door. Our neighbors called the cops. My sister was surprised to see one at her door. The cop had to check that the bedroom door wasn't locked, that there was food in the fridge, that the place was reasonably clean before he wrote it off. However, since he was called out like that it stays on record until my niece is 18 in case they ever have to come out again. Also another problem is some of the advice that is given out. A few months ago I was reading a parenting magazine. The one article was talking about money and kids. How an allowance should be given, not earned. That if we want our kids to do more we need to negoiate with them on it. That we shouldn't give money for good grades earned, that kids should want to earn good grades just for the sake of it. Some of the articles I've seen do not help in raising kids in ways that will benefit them in life. Anyways I do agree it is a problem. I know when I was a kid if I did half of what I've seen some of these kids I'd still not be able to sit down. My niece has friends that I look at them and go what is going on. I hear how kids are mouthing off to teachers, using language that I didn't dare even utter till I was in college and I still don't say around my parents. Parents need to be able to be parents. They need to tell their kids no, to be able to punish them (punish not abuse), to set limits and have the child meet them.

My kids are well behaved and well mannered. Are they perfect, no not by any means. But I have always taught them manners and they have chores they have to do around the house. My children are disciplined if they talk to me in a disrepectful mannter. But I have seen other cases where the parents just let their kids do whatever they want. They are typically the ones that start trouble in school.

Most people are setting their kids up for a down fall, I don't let my children do as they want, I'm very strict where behaviour is concerned, and if you met my kids you'd know. I get compliments when I take my three year old out, he's polite and kind to everyone and what I say goes. Most parents don't put the time into parenting, they take the easy way out and their kids walk all over them, I see it happening everyday and I will not let my kids do that to me.

I agree with you 100% Todays kids are spoiled brats who deserve a cold hard lesson in life. I am a mother of 4 and I will not tollerate my kids talking back and they know it. When they try I instantly send them to there beds for a time out and if they continue I start taking things away. My husband on the other hand is one to give in to stop them from wining or crying and that drives me nuts. When I am alone with my kids they behave for me, but once my husband comes home all he!! breaks loose. I love my husband and I know he means well but I keep trying to get him to understand that he cant let the kids manipulate him like that or else we are going to have problems when they are older and I am going to be put in the position of the bad guy because I believe in desclipining my children and he dosnt. You the problem is with Social Services today saying that we cant spank our kids when they are getting out of line. My mother spanked me and I turned out fine. I dont see what the problems is.

What a very good way to put it, and yes, I believe they are.They are giving them the tools to deal with actual life.They are not going to get their way every time tey seek it, especially through the terroristic methods of screaming and tantrums!lol.The kids cannot manage their wants and needs and will never have the proper faculties for caring for themselves successfully.It's sad.

it is the few not the many who do not have kids following rules and having chores. I think a lot of parents do have rules and chores. I know though there are kids who are brats, spoiled and thing the world owe's them. But around our house my grandkids know they better follow the rules and keep chores done. Or they will get what for.

I think that today many parents do not stimulate good things to its children. I think that the tradition to take care of well of the children is dying together to the love and the good things that our grandmothers in taught them.

yes, they are setting their kids up for disaster. There are so many rude kids no manners. They have no respect. I see kids back talking to their parents. My mom would of knock the you know what out of me if I utter one word to her or any adults for that matter. Parents needs to start parenting. The ones who are acting out will not be prepared for life on their own because they wont be able to handle working when a supervisor have to lay down the rules.

Oh ya, I'm very worried about my grandchildren's generation. I can't tell you how many parents I know like this that think love means giving them anything they want. I think they feel guilty for not spending time with them so the let them have their way and whatever they want. My son's girlfriend was raised like this. She is the most selfish person I have ever met. She won't get a job and waists all my son's hard earned money. When he gets home from work, she hands the kids over to him and he has to totally take care of them till they go to bed because she is is playing video games. Their relationship is doomed, no one could or would put up with her for very long. She thinks she can find a man that will take care of her lazy butt and the kids without complaint. lol

I totally agree with everything you said. I was raised exactly the same way and I am respectful person. I am rtrying to raise my kids the same way. They will be prepared to go out into the world and do, say and act out any way that they want to. That's why the world is the way it is today. No disipline for our kids. It a world of "do whatever makes you feel good" no matter who it hurts or how wrong it is.

There is no doubt about it. Parents who allow the kids to rule the roost are setting them up for disaster. They want what they want and they want it now. That means bad debts Some of the are disrespectful. The parents don't realize that the people around them don't like their kids for the reasons you mentioned.

I think they do by giving them lots of junk foods

Americian kids are fat...The obvious answer to that question is television...hours and hours in front of the “boob tube,” but it’s not the only answer. During the past decade, a growing number of American children can be described as obese and there is escalating concern among parents and pediatricians about what this portends for these youngsters as they grow to adulthood. Many fear that the dramatic increase in the number of overweight children in this country constitutes a national health crisis.

i tell you right now I dont let my kids do whatever they want. Me and my husband rule the roost. My kids at least my 5 and 6 year old have chores to do. I make my kids say yes sir and yes maam. I know my kids are only young right now but I will get only stricter when they get older!!!!!

Parents are to blame in 99.9% of a child's behavior. I know that if my child were to do something bad, I am resposible for their action.

It sounded like you've been brought up in a military house... We will not do this to my son, yes we give him everything he needs (food, warm home, clothes), he can buy any toy he wants but he can only buy 1 toy in a month if he's a good boy. We're teaching him to put away his toys inside the toy box, put his dirty laundry in the basket and give me his bowl when he's done eating. I strongly disagree in addressing parents as sir/ma'am, parents should give love to their children not have them grow in a military atmosphere, children who lives like this are sad kids. Let kids be kids, let them enjoy their childhood, them the right manners by setting an example.