To SPank or Not TO spank

When my children were young, spanking was the normal means of correction. I never used "spanking" but sometimes one hit (on the hand or the seat) was considered necessary, especially to prevent danger, as in touching hot stove. This was not so much to hurt (was never enough to hurt) but to teach. I had five sons who were always well behaved. Maybe if I'd had rebellious children my actions may have been different. My sons now have children of their own and none of the children have ever been hit. They have been reasoned with, sent to their rooms to calm down, or deprived of a toy or something they liked for a period. I am not being biased as a grandma when I say they are among the best behaved and most polite children I know - and I know many, being involved in a children's ministry. It is a great pleasure for me to see the obvious love and "togetherness" shared in their families. The children (3-16 years) are secure and confident, high achievers, and I'm sure they will make good citizens and parents themselves. While I still believe the occasional slap on the hand may be necessary at times, I do not believe spanking will achieve anything positive.

I think it's a good thing to do as long as it doesn't go into abuse. Too many families (especially white families) let their kids run amok because they think spanking "ruins their self esteem" or whatever. It's retarded.

I was spanked as a child and I turned out ok. Time out would never have worked for me. I'd have set there with my mind going 100 miles an hour trying to decide what I was going to do next. As it was, I sat there rubbing my backside saying I hate you, I hate you. But of course I didn't mean it.

I have 3 kids ages: 19, 15, and 6 and I have never raised my hands to them, I have never spanked them. Too many people believe that a simple spanking and swat will correct behavior, but all it does is teaches a child violence and to fear their parents. The way it teaches violence is that it sends the impressionable mind of a child the reasoning that if something is against what they want, they can correct it by hitting. They learn early on that hitting is acceptable behavior from the best teachers in their lives--there parents. Look at how the cycle works--Little Joey defies you and does something against your wishes, and you spank him. Then later on Little Joey's younger brother or sister or little friend does something that defies Little Joey's wants and wishes and likes, and he hits them to try to correct them from doing what they did. Then you go and spank him again for hitting the other person--see the cycle it creates. You have taught your child that we hit in order to correct bad behavior and you are doing it to a 2 year old--do you know that developmentally a 2 year old doesn't understand "no" like a 4 year old or older child? This is the key age to establish good clear communication with your child, and help them understand what they are doing wrong. I was not spanked as a child, neither was my husband. I have researched and studied child development and with everything I have learned it has pointed to one thing that young children pick up their behaviors and mannerisms from what they see and interact with at home. SO, if you want to teach them that spanking, hitting, is the way we handle negative behavior that is your choice, but remember when your child hits another child or sibling that it was you who taught him that is the acceptable reaction and behavior to carry out.

Not To spank.........