Should children correct children?

This is a form of child abuse on the poor youngest. To consult with your eldest child what punishment should be given is unbelievable. What parenting classes did this woman go to. Was it titled "How to screw up your kids lives". I am always having to stop my eldest telling her brother off. I tell her he already has a mother and he doesn't need another one. But to give your child permission to do this, is in my eyes abuse. She is going to have so many problems with both her children as they grow if she continues this insane way of parenting. Have you told her how you feel. I certainly would for the sake of her children. Find some information on how children can be seriously affected by this sort of parenting. All siblings argue, thats part of growing up and a great way of learning how to express yourself without being judged. But this is bullying and lack of parental responsibility. Why are there so many mad parents out there. We are their teachers, to give them the best start in life and enable them to have self-esteem. Which kids certainly need nowadays. If you are really close to your friend talk to her. Tell her how you feel. If not, could you play an important part in these childrens lives, especially the little boy. If he has someone who he can feels loves him, this could help him. What a sad situation. I hope your friend wakes up to this and realises how wrong it is. I wish you and her children all the best.

actually all that the above reminds me of is why i used to hate the class monitor in my school so much. have to9 agree with you and that it does feed more hostility.whats more they are sibngs and as such are already prone to fight.throw in monitoring in there and you have a huge mess on your hands.i think that you shold seriously advice your friend on this or at least take her to the lnks that i have given below! http://library.adoption.com/information/sibling-relationships/357/1.html http://www.siblingsupport.org/ http://www.kidshealth.org/parent/emotions/feelings/sibling_rivalry.html

let her take classes in her own style. you are free and i suggest you not to interfere as it is hard to believe . afterall both the child have no relation with you. if yes, write again.

wow that is totally wrong.. this girl is gonna grow up being a spoiled brat thinking she can boss everyone around.. not to mention the fights its gonna lead to later on between these two siblings because this 8 yr old is pretty much playing the parent roll.. I think its kinda child abuse really.. It's like she has permission to be mean to the poor kid or something..

As a mother of three, 17, 11, and 2. I say that is crap!! As you have said this does nothing but cause animosity between the children. I would never give that kind of power to one child over the other. She is looking at a big big trouble. She better put a stop to this now before she digs herself and her children a deeper hole!!

yes it makes the older one to feel as the protector of the younger...

ohh my!! This is soooo very bad!!!This is a crock too! I would love to meet these moron paretning peopel that told her to do this..and i bet you money they dont have any children..This IS total child abuse by the older child and parent..this is wrong..no one should be able to disapline a child but an adult,!or if say the child was an older Teenager watching a young child yes,but not with 2 yrs apart..8 yrs old is just as bad as 6 there isnt much of an age difference..ohhh i wish i could have it so the children were able to punish the mother..and she could see how rediculous this really is!!

no I haven't heard of anything like that before, I think it's ugly.. parents are the one who should punish their children, even when the older child is 20 years old and the younger child is 6 years old, still the older child shouldn't punish the younger one. That is so strange. I can't imagine how the little brother would treat her sister when he grow up..

Hmm, that sounds kind of odd! I can somewhat relate to it though from when I was a kid. If my parents consulted me, I could have told them exactly what punishment I got for things similar to what my brother did. But they didn't. Instead, he walked away with no punishment many times. As a result, I often had to take over to prevent him from being a spoiled brat. If he broke something of mine and my parents just said "oh well", but I would have been whipped with a belt for the same offense, I'd smack him one to teach him a lesson. I understood how punishment worked early on and did not think it was fair that I was punished while he was not. So I made things equal. Amazingly, this really kind of worked, so maybe your friend is onto something. My brother doesn't really care what my parents think a lot of times, but he respects me. When he was getting bad grades, I was always the one to tutor him. When he was doing really bad in school, I got him into the band so that he'd have to get good grades to stay in. That ended up being the thing he liked, and now he gets As and Bs. So I don't think it had a negative effect on him to be punished. I've seen some of my cousins with parents who don't believe in punishment, and they turn out horrible. It'd be nice if the parents could do it though. They should treat both children equally. If you're gonna smack one with a 2x4 for something, smack the other too if they do the same thing!

Oh yeah this is warped. No parent should need to consult their 8 year old as to what the punishment should be for the 6 year old. She needs to step up and be a parent. If I had to guess she is trying to shift the "blame" that the younger child would put on her if she was disiplining the child. By having the 8 year old do it, the 6 year old is going to get upset with the 8 year old and not her. And there is NO way that an 8 year old should be punishing the 6 year old with out her Mom. The reason why the 8 year old should be is because her mind is not mature enough to handle the situations that might occur. There is a time when you do not need to punish a child for certian things and I don't believe that an 8 year old knows the differnece between those times. I think that you friend is making a terrible mistake. That being said, it is her family and unless something illegal is taking place there is nothing that can really be done about it.

yes i think it's right because now a days there are only nuclear families. In these families husband and wife both are going for jobs thats why they have no time for their children. so what's harm in it if older child correct younger child but this activity also make him responsible.

I think this is not correct.U must give older one the responsibility to show him the better way only by doing it himself.It will stupidity to give older one responsibility to correct the younger one.Do U think older one is that much old enough.The younger one will only feel inferior to elder one.I advise never do this.

children correcting the children is a good thing but not a right one. it leads to bad impressions onthe child and the complaints should be told to elders so that they cansolve.it increases criticism uin the children. so the elders should take care of their children

I have both seen and heard of this, though not in any of my psychology studues, nor my child psychology/parenting cources. This woman seems to think that this will work? Your right, it will cause big problems in personality and the relationship between sibblings, as well as problems in the younger ones life, actually it'll cause problems with the older as well, because she will think that it's okay to do this to everyone that she sees as 'lesser' than her, which will make her a very un popular kid as she gets older in todays society... By the looks of it this woman shouldn't have kids, because she's screwing them up more than she's helping them. It's not right.. and a child should never be allowed to punish another child, especially their sibblings. I grew up in a home where i had to be parent to my 5 younger sibblings, because my parents wouldn't have anything of it.. Now my sibblings see me as mom, and my mom and dad as jerks because they never seemed to want anything to do with them, that might happen as well. I tried not to punish them, and if i did i always explained why i was punishing them, and how they could change it for the next time, it's hard, and it's definately molded my life a lot differently than it would have been if i would have just been allowed to be a child. I wish the best for those poor kids, and i hope someone can do something about this... Maybe the child services in your area can do something about this. I know they do here now. Peace and love be with you, your family and friends. Best wishes and good luck hun.

An 8 year old punish a 6 year old? That seems a bit ridiculous, to be blunt. Children don't have the reasoning or the experience of an adult, they shouldn't have the responsibilities either. And if this is to make up for the fact that her daughter didn't get to be an only child, well, her son didn't get to be one, either. My younger sisters listened to me and were expected to follow my example, and I was expected to set a good example. But I was not consulted in how my sisters were raised. They only listened to me because they were used to, not because our parents told them to. In other families I know, the older children can tell the younger children what to do, like remind them to do their homework or tell them not to eat junk food, and the younger kids have to listen, but only parents punish, and only parents set the rules.

that is soemthing common now a days .people area so busy with their own schedule that they dont careto get along with their kids so they plan new strategies and this is a result of such one strategy

I've never heard of parenting classes teaching this. It is strange. I have seen where a child may have a sibling a few years younger and may say "stop" or something like that. Especially if an action can hurt his/her self. But, disciplining should definitley not be left to the sibling, that is unless there's custody, like of a significantly younger sibling.

We'll if it teaches responsibility over siblings it's quite OK since he's the oldest. If the parent is not around, the oldest is there to take care of everything in the house since his younger siblings follows him and have discipline over themselves. If you don't mind, that's how our culture in our country is going on, we give respect to our older brother and sister and follows him/her or correct us if we're wrong. It's a good feeling that somebody's there to correct you and taken a good responsibility upon you. If you're stubborn, you won't like this setup.

there is no harm in children correcting children...lets give it a try..

yes, i think childrens should correct other small one so that they could understand the right things to do .