living with my husband who has ms

alot of people feel this way at times especially if they are taking care of a loved one.my aunt has ms and has to live at home and is wheelchair bound we feel this way at times with her but the way we get past it she must be having a harder time then we are having.it is stressful to look after a loved one and being the only one who does things but just remember your husband is having alot harder time with it than you are seeing how he is wheelchair bound.you must be a really strong person to be taking care of your husband plus your kids.you are not terrible it is normal to feel the way you do.

I am myself living with a dibilitating condition. I have done some research into MS and other comditions. Even though I have the condition, I know it was hard on my parents to watch me go through this. I have good and bad days and I totally relate to your situation. If you need to talk I am here I can atleast be an ear.

Everyone has a down day where we feel we can't take much more of our lives. It is normal and healthy to regonize that. I helped take care of my dad when he had Alzhiemers and it was very hard. Dad kept a positive attitude through his last remembering days and there were days when I wonder how much more I could take. But when I sat back and thought about if I was being selfish or not, I realized something that kept me strong. My frustration was no having to take care of him, but watching his health go down and I couldn't do a thing about it but love him and help him when he needed it. He is gone now and I am thankfull for what time I had with him. I have a freind here whose husband has the same as yours but her husband cannot work now. They go out all the time. They have friends that visit back and forth between their homes. Sure she has to help him even with eating when they go anywhere. You can also get a personal assistant to help ease the chores needed to be done. There are other helps out there too including MS support groups. Maybe you should look around. I know in my state that kind of information can be found at a center for independent living or even the local hospitals.

i understand that you want to run away. but... do you think, you would be happy with this? may be...the first days, but later??? try to get help, it must be possible. so you have some time of yourselve...doing things you like. enjoy some hours of free and come back with new energy. wish you and your family the very best.

serving your husband is service to God you will the gift of that

Its a pathetic condition, i know the scene as i have gone thru it with my younger brother and my family keeping up with the situation. It ended with his demise. Please Keep your spirits high by going out some times with or without friends, read religious scripts, cheer your family by having some activities at home. This is test period and god is testing your patience. Better times are ahead, dont know when. Keep fighting as a warrior.

I have RRMS diagnosed 4 years ago I can barely walk or see, but I still try to do as much I can ,cooking ,cleaming, getting groceries, I am unable to work now or maybe i just gave up on the idea. I am scared to go anywhere i was told that i cant even use a scooter, its hard cause 2 years ago i was driving in ,school to be a computer tech / network specialist and then i was told no one will ever hire me because i am slow , now 20,000 in debt for nothing and living on disability. i walk to the grocery store pushing an empty cart for fear of falling. sometimes i wonder where god is and why does he put us here .Just to watch us struggle and suffer

when my youngest brother was diagnosed with leukemia, my world started to be torn apart. we weren't rich but atleast, we can have little luxuries in life. but when my youngest brother started getting sick, we needed to trim down luxuries. it was hard at first for we're used to it. but later on, because we love our brother, we were able to cope up. i understand your situation. i know how stressful it is for you. yes. sometimes, we just wanna run away from everything and find something to relieve us from stress. but at a certain point, i know you'll feel guilt, too if ever you'll be away from your husband. i hope you can find time to relax somehow. but i know you can hardly find time for yourself already. well, atleast, feel free to talk to your husband. he will understand you somehow. and i know he appreciates everything that you are doing for the family. he feels bad about his situation, too. he's not thankful about it. so, just try to be there for him. i know if you're in the situation where he is now, he'll also be there to take care of you.

It is NOT wrong and selfish to take care of yourself. It is necessary. You are suffering from caregiver burnout. You need time for yourself, even if it is just a couple of hours a week. This is a hard lesson for us nurturing, loving motherly types to learn. How can you give to someone else when you have depleted everything inside yourself? You need to re-charge your batteries to have something to work with here.

I think that you must have total attention. Therefore now it is the moment where you they had needed plus one the other. Therefore it tries to be more present and to live each moment as if he was only.

I am almost in the secondary progressive stages of ms so I understand some of the issues. I'm not in a wheelchair but I use a cain and excersise and hope everyday thing will not get any worser. I know people have had it hard with me espically after I was first diagnosed in 2002.I will keep you and your husband both in my prayers. My ex. husband left me because he said he couldn't deal with my symtoms from ms. Just remember that anyone can have ms and no one asks for it.

Your lucky day. I have remitting relapsing MS, and it really is a struggle at times. Just be greatful that you have a husband. Believe me when I say that I do undersand it is what you are saying. I have two kids 9 and 6 and tring to care for them and myself is a struggle in itself. You can call me on my cell at 770-885-0112 or just email me at rodneyt1968@yahoo.com and we can just simply talk about the struggles of MS. Please I need someone to talk to too.

This is a very hard thing to go through. Do you have a community or church group who would help you? It would be good for you to have some support while you are going through all this.

Actually my dear i dont really understand what you meant by ms!

My husband went to the doctor yesterday because of eye problems and was told he had optic neuritis and will get an MRI done tomorrow, he was told optic neuritis could be MS. I am devastated. First, you have to understand that we are not getting along at the moment and haven't been for several years, and currently am on the verge of divorce. Now this. I don't know how I will get through this, but I have to for our children's sake.

Huggers to you Deirdre. Living with a family member that has any illness is trying on both your physical and mental health. I have friends who have MS and it is difficult to be friends with them. One has nearly cut off all connections with me. Distancing is something that a lot of MS patients will do. IF I didn't pick up the phone to call her, there would be no interaction between us. The patient can be miserable and often take things out on their caregivers, spouse, family members and friends. You really need to get out of the house on your own. Did you do things on your own before your husband was diagnosed with this illness? Even if you didn't, you should try to make time for you. It is important to do things that make you feel good too. My heart goes out to you. Hang in there. Keep in touch. : )

I am sorry but if you need someon to talk to then I am here, dont worry just start your day with a word of prayer, put your burdens at gods care, I am sure he will give you the strength to go through this stress.

Sounds as if you are overhwelmed, kudos to you and to hubby who is working still. You need a break some "you" time, can you arrange that? Can you find a support group for caregivers. I wish I could help more. Being a caregiver is exhausting and taxing on the bravest of souls((hug))

with your writing, we feel your pain and your sorrows. you are one of those brave women who always strive hard to make life bearable. and i salute you lady. anyway, i guess there maybe clubs in your society regarding people with disabilities, maybe you can enjoin your husband and meet encouraged people with similar situation. make your family's life normal like other people. try to meet families having the same, and join with their social activities. And as for you, maybe you can hire some helper for the house & for the children. Having this problem doesn't mean that life stops with you, but do something helpful about it. think positive and act positive. love yourself and love your husband more.

hi deirdre, i'm a nurse too. you're starting to sound like someone who's at the edges of caregiver role strain. If you're starting to feel like this already perhaps you should consider getting some help around the house, to at least take care of the chores. And go out to unwind once in a while. I felt terrible-- stressed out and empty after going on hospital duty for a while. It must be doubly hard for you, because you got patients and your husband to look after. Remember, you won't be effective if you're not emotionally set. Nobody else will look after your more than yourself