Telemarketer
@cute_missmary (3866)
United States
January 3, 2007 10:20am CST
The phone rang as we were sitting down to dinner. I answered it and was greeted with, "Is this William Wagenhoss?"
This didn't sound anything like my name, so I asked, "Who is calling?"
The telemarketer said he was with The Rubberband-Powered Freezer Company or something like that. I asked him if he knew William personally and why was he was calling this number. I then said, off to the side, "Get really good pictures of the body and all the blood."
I turned back to the phone and advised the caller that he had called a murder scene and must stay on the line because we had already traced this call and he would be receiving a summons to appear at the local courthouse to testify in this murder case.
I questioned the caller at great length as to his name, address, phone number at home, at work, who he worked for, how he knew the dead guy and could he prove where he had been about one hour before he made this call. The telemarketer was getting very concerned and his answers were given in a shaky voice.
I proceeded to tell him we had located his position at his work place and the police were entering the building to take him into custody. At this point, I heard the phone fall and the scurrying of his running away.
My wife asked me as I returned to our table, why I had tears streaming down my face and so help me, I couldn't tell her for about fifteen minutes. My food was cold, but oh-so-very enjoyable.
12 people like this
48 responses
@LBWebb1945 (37)
• United States
4 Jan 07
I used to do telemarketing for Dial America. I lasted about 3 months. I couldn't keep my score up. From working as a telemarketer, it has taught me to be sensitive when they call. Then there is always the "do not call list". You can place your name on that list and you will not have to be bothered ever. On the other hand, that was really funny what you did. It was funny because I am a retired cop and if I was the telemarketer, I would not have fallen for the prank. But, it was a good prank.
2 people like this
@texasclassygal (5305)
• United States
4 Jan 07
This too funny, I get tons of telemarking calls I am going to have to try this one on the next one that calls us, thanks for sharing
1 person likes this
@kyliepops (269)
• Australia
3 Jan 07
its actually a joke. whats rude is telemarketers rigning all the time!
Lighten up, see the funny side
@charmedguyp1 (431)
• Philippines
4 Jan 07
I think that was a very mean thing to do. I don't even have to explain why I think so. You should've just politely turned down the mans offer. I hope you never do this again.
1 person likes this
@marcellah (6)
• Netherlands
4 Jan 07
Hahahaha, oh my, I have to keep this in mind!! Just so great!!One hell of a joke if you ask me!!
Hope someone never does this to me since I have to call people for my boss....
1 person likes this
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
3 Jan 07
Oh my Goodness. I Love it. This is awesome. Thanks for the laugh, and I am sure this person will never want to be a Telemarketer or work on the phones again will he?
@margieanneart (26423)
• United States
12 Jan 07
Hahhahah, that is funny. Now, was that a joke, or did it happen?
@cute_missmary (3866)
• United States
3 Jan 07
xactly, u r right, sometimes they can b dangerous tooo
@jmintuck (114)
• Canada
4 Jan 07
OMG! That is so mean in a funny, perverse way! I would,ve LOVED to hear the guy scurry away after giving answers in a shaky voice!I think that served the telemarketer right for distrubing your dinner. Good thing it made your dinner all the more enjoyable.
I,m glad that you scared the %^*# out of the telemarketer!
1 person likes this
@jenbatres (799)
• United States
3 Jan 07
that is too funny, i couldn't imagine -- i would have been laughing
@viognier (15)
• United States
3 Jan 07
Here is one way to deal with telemarketers.
Good evening, may I speak with...
If you’re like me, and most of your friends have given up on calling, because you screen your calls, or because you never agree to go out anywhere, then probably most of your incoming calls will be from telemarketers. One friend instructs telemarketers and weirdos, which may strike some readers as redundant, to hang up during her telephone answering machine message. All others may begin to speak so that she can identify the voice, and then make an informed decision.
There is no reason for so much dread and trepidation. They call because they have something they want to offer you, a gift, kind of. And they are people persons, after all. Who else but a people person would agree to call strangers and talk to them, or read to them?
But wouldn’t taking such a call be a little less immediately off-putting if they tried a tiny bit harder to pronounce our names correctly? I’ll concede that my name is not phonetically spelled, and it does amuse to be addressed as Miss Simile. My standard reply is "Sorry no one here by THAT name.". Or "That’s not how I pronounce it, try again". But I’d hate for people to pick up my bad habits, so here’s a better way.
Instead of "No thank you, no thank you, no thank you….", which we all know doesn’t work, treat them as you would a friend, a friend calling long distance . Engage them in a little friendly chit chat. Oh sure this may break their rhythm, cause them to lose their place in the script. But you’re an individual and you deserve to be treated as such. They’ll soon forget they were trying to sell you something when they realize that you are genuinely interested in them.
"Where are you calling from?" is always a good icebreaker, although their location may be apparent from their accent. "What time is it there is my favorite follow-up query, for telemarketers or anyone at the other end of my phone, local or otherwise.
By now they should be trying to conclude the phone call. If you are lucky and fast you might get a couple of closers in. "Is it the beginning or the end of your shift?" I like to vary this with the ever reliable "Yeah, I hate Mondays too". Or "Thank God it’s Friday". material. "What’s your favorite color?" a great utility question that can be used anywhere in your routine. And when you are ready to hear that gratifying phone slam and dial tone, "Did you see Dilbert today"?
@marvinklarvin (4)
• United States
3 Jan 07
I like to ask for the telemarketers home number, so that i can call them back while they are eating dinner.
generally they dont give it out though, but they can identify with how you feel.
Sometimes chewing in their ear during dinner is fun too.
Or start talking to them and continually use the radio to put them on hold.
Or you can also flip the table by pushing one of your own business ideals.
Ciao.
@ratih_yanuar83 (304)
• Indonesia
4 Jan 07
that was a very funny story you had with that telemarketer. You must have scared the wits off him.
@Lakota12 (42600)
• United States
4 Jan 07
aw the poor guy.He was just doing what he was paid for and probably reading a script.
I f it had been me I would have asked for your name and badge no. and had the police coming to your house as you might have been the killer!
@Perry2007 (2229)
• Philippines
4 Jan 07
What were you thinking about, when you did that? Good practical joke? Do you have a child? pray that event will not happen to him. If it did, just enjoy your cold food.