Manipulating Step Child
By momwatittude
@momwatittude (542)
United States
January 3, 2007 11:21am CST
Hi all this is my first time so bare with me.
When I first met my husband he had a daughter from a previous marriage. Whenever she came over she was always doing things to me like bleach in my laundry, tore up 3 computers, hiting our son just cuz she didnt like what he was doing, and wehen I'd tell her no she ran to dad. Well I put my foot down and I thought made it stop she acted like we were best friends as the years went by.. Then at 15 she moved in with us and acted like a daughter to me calling me mom and that went on for 3 years and during that time she had no contact with her real mom adn was always in trouble for lying,manipulating people, and stealing. at 17 she asked me to adopt her I told her no I wanted her to really think about it and at 18 she asked me again so we filed the paperwork and so it was written I am now an her birth certificate. A few months later she went to california to check out some modeling agency's and acting. She met a man who is older than her father and I he was married with a child he left his wife and they moved intogether got married in mexico and have been trying to get her dad to leave me . I have recieved threatning letters and voice mails everysincefrom them stating that they will see me in jail at any cost to get her dad and our son away from me. I am so tired of this I wish they would leave me alone this has been going on for 4 years now. Oh what should I do.It has gone as far as them calling the police saying they think I killed her dad to calling social service saying I am abusing our son also calling the tax buraus.
3 people like this
35 responses
@mslena75 (561)
• United States
3 Jan 07
HOLY COW. I guess I have no advice! I would say kick her in the a**...she is an 'adult' now, sever all ties and run! But then that is easier said than done, as that is your husband's daughter and you went ahead and adopted her. I am reminded of something a therapist once said...if people you knew were treating you like crap, you would turn the other way and not deal with them anymore, why do think we have to accept the same treatment from people just because we are related to them? Just something to think about. I was having lots of family issues at one time and that really put it in perspective for me. Good luck. Maybea restraining order is necessary.
@Trixy99 (194)
• Canada
4 Jan 07
In a lot of ways I agree with you. I guess the only part of me that doesnt is that little voice in my head that says you need to love your family cuz that is what we are taught. But then logic tells me that if they loved like they should they wouldnt be hurting you. So once again you can pick your friends but ya cant pick your family. But that doesnt mean U have to put up with a lot of Cr?p either does it.
2 people like this
@shannon76 (1232)
• United States
3 Jan 07
Wow. That is a very sticky situation to be in. Is her father (your husband) still alive and still with you? What is he doing in all of this? He really should be the one taking care of this (granted he is still alive). I would talk to the police and make sure you DOCUMENT everything! MAke sure that every time she does ANYTHING that is of harm you make a police report. Even if it is just a threatening call or letter. That way this will save your butt when the police come knocking on your door from a tip that your step child gave them...
2 people like this
@babykay (2131)
• Ireland
4 Jan 07
Yes I agree with the above. Your husband should be taking an active part in this. Call the cops, you just never know what allegations she will make or even actions she could take! It sounds like she is very, very disturbed in some way. But when all is said and done, she is your adopted daughter, when you adopted her you took on a lifetime committment.
2 people like this
@birthlady (5609)
• United States
3 Jan 07
Huh!?!? Why haven't you documented everything and gotten a restraining order against her? Why did she turn on you?
2 people like this
@momwatittude (542)
• United States
9 Jan 07
she needs no reason to turn on someone she can and has always been very vicous when she wanted to be she learned real well from her birth mother who does the same to everyone in her path. I loved her like my own and truly believed shse had changed and loved me back.she called me mom and none of her friends here new that I was not her real mom. I believe that she did like what I had to say to her about using someone for money.Thats they only reason why she slept with a married man broke his marriage up then married him. but in the end she will get what she deserves because he is just as much the con artist that she herself is so the con is coning the con.
1 person likes this
@momwatittude (542)
• United States
9 Jan 07
ooops I mispellede should have been she didnt like what I had to say.
1 person likes this
@leedug (920)
• United States
4 Jan 07
I TOTALLY disagree with the responses where people are telling you to patient with her. Four years is long ENOUGH. She is 18 now. You need to counteract and put a harrassmeant warrant on her little ungrateful butt. I don't care if you adopted her. Show her some tough love and maybe she will come around. Also, how is her dad reacting to all of this ?
2 people like this
@momwatittude (542)
• United States
14 Jan 07
actually I have been in her life since she was 5 so yea it has been to long. harrasment is all I can do but they will not go after her for it because it is a misdemeaner. her dad is pissed but I handle everything he cant. thanks for your inoput.
@Trace86 (5030)
• United States
3 Jan 07
I agree with the person who said you need to go to the police and report her and safeguard yourself. Start recording and saving her threatening conversations and letters. If she is so unloving to you, why did she want you to adopt her? Has she ever told you that she loves you? What does your husband say about her recent behavior? What kind of garbage is she saying to your son? Can you change your number?
@momwatittude (542)
• United States
9 Jan 07
just last week I changed our numbers for the 6 time in 3 years and everytime she seems to get it. They siad they have friends at the phone company.
1 person likes this
@aquariancore (608)
• United States
3 Jan 07
Take out a restraining order, it is that simple.
2 people like this
@lulylove (1560)
• Brazil
3 Jan 07
I think that it is a very difficult moment, that you have that to stop and to think about the things that had happened in its life. Therefore something thus deserves a time for you.
I know that no matter how hard the time pass voc~e does not go to forget, but it tries to make with that this is not the main problem of its life.
@UcoksBaBa (800)
• Indonesia
3 Jan 07
It was very bad that the child, why didn't you take your child moved from there, not because you were frightened to your stepchild but yielded to win was better for you than served your stepchild's madness.
Only that that could be suggested by me.
2 people like this
@MissGia (955)
• United States
3 Jan 07
Wow, what a stitch your in. i would sign off all my parental rights first of all, apparently this girl has major issues and is just looking to start problems. Have you talked to her dad about this, its his daughter, maybe he can fix whatever problem it is..if he loves and care about you he'll try to get the situation resolved..i dont know this is really a screwy situation and im sorry you have to go through this..but somthing has to be done.
2 people like this
@limosonia1 (1559)
• United States
4 Jan 07
I really feel for you. I have a step daughter that is just about there. She lived with us for awhile. You need your husbands support in all this. What does he say. I have thought about the future with mystep daughter. She has done some of those things already like having somebody call me and state that my husband was sleeping around or call my husband and vice versa. It became to much to bare until we united. Actually just a few weeks ago to let her know that it needs to stop. If she does what yours has I would get a restraining order against her. We can care and love our children. But we can't control there actions unless they know that there are consquences to them. She needs to be show the consquences she is now a grown adult.You just don't act like that when you are an adult. Hopefully my step daughter will out grow it. Maybe not. It's sad because I am sure that you love her as well as I do mine. Good luck
1 person likes this
@limosonia1 (1559)
• United States
15 Jan 07
I think I am headed down the same road. Unfortunatly.
1 person likes this
@momwatittude (542)
• United States
15 Jan 07
I am sorry to hear that for it is a very uncomfortable roller coaster ride.
@momwatittude (542)
• United States
14 Jan 07
thank you and I sincerly hope that yours does not turn out like mine.
@momwatittude (542)
• United States
15 Jan 07
I am trying I dont respond to the calls now.although it is very hard.
@shywolf (4514)
• United States
3 Jan 07
That is so crazy! I can't understand why she is so hot and cold in the way that she treated you. First being so awful, then nice for awhile, and now seemingly trying to ruin your life. I hope that you can get a restraining order or something to help you out. I really can't imagine what you must be going through right now, and I'm so sorry to hear about it! :(
2 people like this
@momwatittude (542)
• United States
15 Jan 07
I figure she aint worth all the trouble.but thanks anyway
@rash219 (808)
• United States
4 Jan 07
if this was in any place other than US or UK those sukers would hav been hunted and beaten to pulp...wel this is no soultion....the only soultion i can think of is reporting her to the Police, FBI, Social Services etc, to all the major goverment agencies and also to get a hold of a laywer......
1 person likes this
@momwatittude (542)
• United States
14 Jan 07
Thanks for the input makes me wish it was another country.
@gemini13 (333)
• India
4 Jan 07
what does ur husband say about this
its upto him if he is ready to take an action then its good ,she is his daughter and its been sooo long she can let go , y she still wants ur husband to leave u ,u shouldn't b scared b bold face it u don't deserve all this u hv to make sure that ur husband wants u and in no circumstances he will leave u
1 person likes this
@momwatittude (542)
• United States
14 Jan 07
he will not leave me as I said before he is behing me 100% and has told her.
@celestial_fantasia (620)
• United States
4 Jan 07
ouch!! what is your husband saying about all of this? You dont mention him at all. I would record her phone calls, keep letters and file a report against her as well as a restraining order. She is harrasing you and your family.
1 person likes this
@momwatittude (542)
• United States
15 Jan 07
Thank you. I do do all those things. My family stands behind me.
@ladymalissa (85)
• United States
4 Jan 07
Oh,my.I have step children but they have never done anything like that.At first thy did little things but nothing to that extreme.What does your husband say about and react to all of this?I feel so bad for you and wish that there was something I could do to help you.Have you tried to change your phone number.Or contacted the police your self,she made need some help with doctors to see if maybe she has split personalites or something of that nature.I wish you all the best.May God help you with this.
1 person likes this
@momwatittude (542)
• United States
14 Jan 07
Yes we have done all those things and actually there is something you could do for us please keep us in your prayers that she and her husband stop
@momwatittude (542)
• United States
15 Jan 07
thanks. I guess its not that I am affraid I am really hurt and angry. Its like she drove a knife into my heart.
