A Puking Drunk
By satyamss
@satyamss (870)
India
January 3, 2007 3:00pm CST
A taxi driver goes to a bar to pick up his fare, a really drunk guy who has been in the bar way too long.
After giving directions back to his house, he and the taxi driver are talking.
The drunk guy leans forwards and says, "Hey taxi-dude! Think you got enough room in the front for a case of beer and a couple of chicken burgers?"
Taxi guy says "Sure! Not a problem." "Some french fries and some meat loafs?""Not a problem, sir," Taxi guy replied.
The drunk guy goes, "BLLLLEEEEEECCCHHHHH!"
3 people like this
10 responses
@lakheysub (847)
• India
8 Jan 07
good one!
keep up the good work!
post more of these they are realy time pass.
it refreshes me from other hectic discussions!
@mridig (202)
• India
5 Jan 07
Urgent Message
Mrid This blonde goes to the Western Union office and says, "I just have to get an urgent message to my mother in Europe." The clerk says it will be $100, and she replies "But I don't have any money.... and I must get a message to her, it's urgent!... I'll do anything to get a message to her." The clerk replies "Anything?". "Yes.... ANYTHING!" replies the blonde. He leads her back to his office and closes the door. He tells her to kneel in front of him. "Unzip me..." She does. "Take it out..... go ahead." She does this as well. She looks up at him, his member in her hands and he says "Well... go ahead... do it..." She brings her lips close to it and shouts "Hello?... Mom?"
@firemansgirl001 (916)
• United States
5 Jan 07
That was an awesome joke. I have to say. Great one. I am not one for puke jokes, but that was great.
@mridig (202)
• India
5 Jan 07
Appliance Store
Mrid A blonde walks into an appliance store and starts to look around.
She then asks the clerk,"Can I have that television set over there."
The clerk looks at her and says no.
This confuses her. She then asks why?
The Clerk responds,"Because you are a blonde."
The blonde woman walks out with an idea on how to get that television.
She then returns with a wig full of red hair. She asks the clerk again for the television set.
He looks at her suspiciously and replies,"No because I told you I don't sell them to blondes."
She then says,"I am not a blonde I am a redhead."
The clerk then said,"I know your the same women because that is no television thats a microwave."
@huanghaozi (1472)
• Egypt
15 Feb 07
A Real Watch Dog
A blind man walked into a bank with his seeing-eye dog that guided him everywhere. He walked into the center of the bank floor, took the dog by the chain, and started swinging him around his head.
Everyone stopped what they were doing and stared. The other customers were taken aback and some were very upset at the way the animal was being treated. One of the tellers ran up to the blind man and asked, "Sir, what are you doing!?!"
The man turned toward the teller and said, "Oh, nothing - just looking around."
@anjuscor (1266)
• India
5 Jan 07
A husband and wife are getting ready for bed. The wife is standing in front of a full-length mirror taking a hard look at herself.
"You know, dear," she says, "I look in the mirror, and I see an old woman. My face is all wrinkled, my hair is grey, my shoulders are hunched over, I've got fat legs, and my arms are all flabby." She turns to her husband and says, "Tell me something positive to make me feel better about myself."
He studies hard for a moment thinking about it and then says in a soft, thoughtful voice, "Well, there's nothing wrong with your eyesight."
@Serjas (2328)
• India
4 Jan 07
nice.............now its my turn
Why Students Fail In Examz
It's not the fault of the student if he/she fails b/c the year has an
only 365 days.
Typical academic year for a student.
52 Sundays in a year which are rest days.
Balance 313 days.
Summer holidays 50 where weather is too hot & difficult to study
Balance 263 days
8hrs daily sleep means 122 days.
Balance 141 days
1 hr for daily playing (good for health) means15 days.
Balance 126 days.
2hrs daily 1 for food & other delicacies (chew properly & eat) means
30 days.
Balance 96 days.
1hr for talking (human is a social animal) means
15 days.
Balance 81 days.
Exam days per year at least 35 days.
Balance46 days
Quarterly, half yearly & festival holidays means 40 days.
Balance 6 days.
For sickness at least 3 days.
Balance 3 days.
Movies & functions at least 2 days.
Balance 1 day.
That 1 day is your birthday.
How can a student pass??
@satyamss (870)
• India
4 Jan 07
A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking, the monkey starts jumping all over the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them,then jumps up on the pool table, grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows it whole.
The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did?" The guy says, "No, what?" "He just ate the cue ball off my pool table - whole!" says the bartender. "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replies the patron. "He eats everything in sight, the little twerp. I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff." He finishes his drink, pays his bill, and leaves. Two weeks later he's in the bar again, and he has his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again.
While the man is drinking, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it. The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?" "Now what?" asks the patron. "Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry up his butt, then pulled it out and ate it!" says the barkeeper.
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replies the patron. "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he ate that damn cue ball he measures everything first!"
2 people like this
@vissu295_1986 (376)
• India
8 Jan 07
A man was buying a sheep; he was checking the sheep's stomach, teeth, ears and eyes. A boy asked his dad: what is that man doing? Dad responded: He is making sure the sheep is healthy and is buying it. A few days later the boy ran out of the Doctors office to his dad saying: Daddy Daddy, the doctor is buying Mom.
