Bad news
By missmissa
@missmissa (27)
United States
January 3, 2007 5:08pm CST
I had a miscarriage and i hurt so much, this happend a week ago and i am still grieving...what hurts even more is that my best friend tells me right after i tell her that i had a miscarriage that she is pregnant, found out the day i miscarried, i resent her and am jealous...how can i be happy for her, she didn't even give me time to grieve! I need support and help!
6 responses
@kris182_2000 (5469)
• Canada
4 Jan 07
I can relate to the miscarriage part. Many years ago, I miscarried triplets. It took 3 months for the miscarriage to be complete.
Your friend is ignorant and shows no respect at all.
My advice is to stay away from your friend as friends don't act like that. Give her some time to figure out what she did. When she realizes it, she'll come back and apologise.
@mrsendrizzi (17)
• United States
4 Jan 07
I'm very sorry to hear about your loss. You do need to take time to grieve - it is a long process and it takes time, and support. Hopefully you have a good support system so that this can be a bit easier on you. I too have had a miscarriage, and I can tell you that it does take time to heal, but it does get better.
It may seem like it'd be common sense, but perhaps your friend didn't realize that it may hurt you to know she's pregnant? She may have just been excited and wanted to share her news. If you need to, tell her that you need some time to grieve right now, and when you're ready, you can pick up where you left off.
Take care of yourself - again, I'm sorry for your loss.
@Anakata2007 (1785)
• Canada
2 Feb 07
That was very poor of your friend to do that. I'm so sorry for your loss. I get a lot of help on www.pregnancyloss.info. If you go to the forum there is a great message board there full of women who have miscarried. They will understand and support you when the rest of the world just forgets about you. Miscarriage is certainly a misunderstood grief. Don't be surprised if you temporarily cannot be friends with your best friend.
@kylesmiles (1910)
• United States
3 Jan 07
Hey girlie. I have never gone through a miscarriage that I know of so I can't really know how it feels. However about a month ago, we found out that my husband's co-worker's wife had a stillborn at 9 months! It really made us think and it was real for us... We have a 1 year old...so it would have hurt us so bad...
I don't think your friend MEANT to hurt you, she was just really excited and forgot her manners. If you focus your positive energy on HER rather than your loss, perhaps it could help you heal?
My husband and I believe that things happen for a reason. We tried for about 2 1/2 years to get pregnant. But our son didn't want to be made until we were settled (we had a house, etc). So we were ready for him... :)
@estherlou (5015)
• United States
3 Jan 07
I'm with kyliesmiles. Your friend probably blurted out her news without even thinking. I'm sorry you lost your baby. You will probably find most people won't know what to say to you or how to help you. They might even say, "Well, you can always get pregnant again". They don't mean to tell you that this pregnancy or this baby was unimportant, they just don't know how to relate and feel they need to say something. Maybe you can find a support group in your area for mothers who have lost babies. I said a prayer for you.
@mom2rottie (620)
•
3 Jan 07
I am so sorry, I had a miscarriage 6 years ago on Halloween. For 2 years I hated Halloween, then I had the first of my 2 little boys and the memory has eased some. It was inconsiderate of your friend to tell you of her pregnancy so soon. But would you have felt better if you'd learned she'd kept it from you and you found out from someone else? Try to be happy for her, keep your distance until you've healed enough to be truly happy for her.
