Why God Never Received Tenure at a University
By satyamss
@satyamss (870)
India
January 5, 2007 4:27pm CST
Why God Never Received Tenure at a University
Because he had only one major publication.
And it was in Hebrew.
And it had no cited references.
And it wasn't published in a refereed journal or even submitted for peer review.
And some even doubt he wrote it himself.
It may be true that he created the world but what has he done since?
The scientific community has had a very rough time trying to replicate his results.
He rarely came to class, just told students to read the book.
He expelled his first two students for learning.
Although there were only ten requirements, most students failed his tests.
His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain top.
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2 people like this
5 responses
@ESKARENA1 (18261)
•
5 Jan 07
that is quite brillient, if its yours then all credit to you, if not where the hell did you get it, id love to read more you made an old man very happy
1 person likes this
@huanghaozi (1472)
• Egypt
15 Feb 07
Everybody has doorbells - and they all work!"
We had spent the day moving from our farmhouse into our new house in town.
Very early the next morning, our 3 1/2 -year-old ran into our bedroom to wake us
up. I dressed him and told him to play in the yard and to quit bothering us.
About 20 minutes later, he came running back. "Mommy! Mommy!" he exclaimed,
"everybody has doorbells - and they all work!"
@simran1430 (1790)
• India
26 Jan 07
Discussing the tax rates
A visitor from Holland was chatting with his American friend and was jokingly explaining about the red, white and blue in the Netherlands flag.
"Our flag symbolizes our taxes," he said. "We get red when we talk about them, white when we get our tax bill, and blue after we pay them."
"That's the same with us," the American said, "only we see stars, too."
@nana1944 (1364)
• United States
25 Jan 07
A Nun was taking a shower one day and she heard the door bell ring, she yelled "Who is it?"
And the person ringing the door bell yelled, "I'm the blind man."
So the Nun got out of the shower and wrapped her hair in a towel, she didn't bother putting a towel around herself because the person behind the door was blind.
She opened the door and said, "What do you want?", and the man said, "I'm here to check your blinds."
@pd_davies (149)
• India
29 Jan 07
Gifts
One day The Lord spoke to Aadam. "I've got some good news and some bad news," The Lord said.
Aadam looked at The Lord and replied, "Well, give me the good news first."
Smiling, The Lord explained, "I've got two new oragans for you, one is called a brain. It will allow
you to create new things, solve problems, and have intelligent conversations with Eave. oamThe other organ I have for you is called a paenis. It will give you great physical pleasure and allow you to reproduce your now intelligent life form and 2007 populate this planet. Eve will be very happy that you now have this organ to feb give her children."
Adam, very excited, exclaimed, "These are great gifts you have given to me. What could possibly be bad news after such great tidings?"
The Lord looked upon hum Adam and said with great sorrow, "You will never be able to use these two gifts at the same time."
**
Small Compensation
A drunk in a bar pukes all over his own 005 shirt, which was brand new before he came in. “Damn,”
he says. “I puked on 22 my shirt again. If the wife 21 finds out, she’s gonna kill me.”
“Not to worry,” says the ba07 rtender as he sticks a $20 bill in the drunk’s pocket. “Just tell her
someone puked on you and gave you some cash to cover the cleaning bill.”
So the drunk goes home and tells his ok wife feb jan about the guy who puked on him. She reaches
into his pocket and finds tjawo twenties. “Why are there two twenties?” she asks.
The drunk replies, “Oh, yea nh, he crapped in my pants, too.”
