Reasons Guitars are Better than Women

One Sunday morning, a priest wakes up and decides to go golfing. He calls his boss and says that he feels very sick, and won't be able to go to work. Way up in heaven, Saint Peter sees all this and asks God, ''Are you really going to let him get away with this?'' ''No, I guess not,'' says God. The priest drives about five to six hours away, so he doesn't bump into anyone he knows. The golf course is empty when he gets there. So he takes his first swing, drives the ball 495 yards away and gets a hole in one. Saint Peter watches in disbelief and asks, '' Why did you let him do that?'' To this God says, ''Who's he going to tell?''

haha this is a nice one thanks

Everybody has doorbells - and they all work!" We had spent the day moving from our farmhouse into our new house in town. Very early the next morning, our 3 1/2 -year-old ran into our bedroom to wake us up. I dressed him and told him to play in the yard and to quit bothering us. About 20 minutes later, he came running back. "Mommy! Mommy!" he exclaimed, "everybody has doorbells - and they all work!"

The First Date It was their first date, and she'd shown the patience of a saint as he babbled on and on about his hobbies, his pet peeves, his driving techniques, and even the standards he used to choose his barber. Finally, he came up for air and said, "But enough about me. Let's talk about you." She breathed a sigh of relief. He went on, "What do you think about me?" -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Be Sure to Carry Your Lantern Pappy sees Elmer walking with a lantern and asks, "Where ya going boy?" The son smiled and replied, "I'm a-going courting Peggy-Sue." The Father said, "When I went a-courtin', I didn't need me no dang lantern." "Sure Pa, I know." the boy said. "And look what you got !"

Q: Why are dumb blonde jokes so short? A: So brunettes can remember them. Q: What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you? A: You pick it up pull the pin & throw it back. Q: What happened to the blonde tap dancer? A: She slipped off and fell down the drain. Q: How can you tell if a blonde has been using the computer? A: The joystick is wet. Q: What's the quickest way to get into a blondes pants? A: Pick them up off the floor. Q: Why don't blonds play frisbee? A: It hurts their teeth. Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain? A: Gifted! Q: How do blonde braincells die ? A: Alone. Q: Why don't blondes eat bananas? A: They can't find the zipper. Q: How did the blonde try to kill the fish? A: She tried to drown it. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a 747? A: Not everyone has been in a 747.

Hello Satyamss,good jok you posted. Here i posting one more joke, Papa Fell: The class assignment in composition was to write about something unusual that happened during the past week. Little Irving got up to read his. "Papa fell in the well last week - " he began. "Good heavens," shrieked Mrs. Kroop, the teacher. "Is he all right now?" "He must be," said little Irving. "He stopped yelling for help yesterday." Thanks

Evaluating this painting A Brit, a Frenchman and a Russian are viewing a painting of Adam and Eve frolicking in the Garden of Eden. "Look at their reserve, their calm," muses the Brit. "They must be British." "Nonsense," the Frenchman disagrees. "They're naked, and so beautiful. Clearly, they are French." "No clothes, no shelter," the Russian points out, "they have only an apple to eat, and they're being told this is paradise. They are Russian."

good one mate

Oh really great, very nice man i relly like it good job you have done here :p thanks for informing us, now go to marry guitars instead of woman, hahahahaha i was just kidding don't mind, really nice work, thanks

Gifts One day The Lord spoke to Aadam. "I've got some good news and some bad news," The Lord said. Aadam looked at The Lord and replied, "Well, give me the good news first." Smiling, The Lord explained, "I've got two new oragans for you, one is called a brain. It will allow you to create new things, solve problems, and have intelligent conversations with Eave. oamThe other organ I have for you is called a paenis. It will give you great physical pleasure and allow you to reproduce your now intelligent life form and 2007 populate this planet. Eve will be very happy that you now have this organ to feb give her children." Adam, very excited, exclaimed, "These are great gifts you have given to me. What could possibly be bad news after such great tidings?" The Lord looked upon hum Adam and said with great sorrow, "You will never be able to use these two gifts at the same time." ** Small Compensation A drunk in a bar pukes all over his own 005 shirt, which was brand new before he came in. “Damn,” he says. “I puked on 22 my shirt again. If the wife 21 finds out, she’s gonna kill me.” “Not to worry,” says the ba07 rtender as he sticks a $20 bill in the drunk’s pocket. “Just tell her someone puked on you and gave you some cash to cover the cleaning bill.” So the drunk goes home and tells his ok wife feb jan about the guy who puked on him. She reaches into his pocket and finds tjawo twenties. “Why are there two twenties?” she asks. The drunk replies, “Oh, yea nh, he crapped in my pants, too.”