Do We Attract Certain People?

Yes ofcourse every person has his own personal likings and anyone who matches them up attracts them. Every human being has some positive and some negative traits. If your positive traits match with someone who admires them you attract him

You have given yourself the answer...by thinking you are a doormat and ready for people to abuse you, that thinking is attracting those kind of relationships. You won't belive this, but your thinking is EXACTLY what attracts whatever you are getting in life. You are focusing on the problem...being bullied or taken advantage of. Instead, think about the kind of relationship you want to have. Just because you are easy going and sensitive, does not mean you can't find great relationships. Try to create in your mind the type of people you want to meet. It is ok to not let others steamroll over you. Sometimes, you have to say no and walk away. Your being frightened of more of the same kind of relationship is the reason you will attract more of the same. It isn't always easy, but with practice, you can begin to disolve the harmful thoughts and replace them with thoughts that will make you happier. There is always a way to change your life...change your thinking and expectations about it.

Its not a theory mate. Its not only that you attract a certain type of person its that you are attracted to a certain type of person, I myself like bad boys but yet when nice ones with jobs and futures come around I am simply not interested. Also, the places where I hang out I tend to attract the same kind of group again and again. Try something new is all I would recommend :)

That is sad you are feeling this way. I would not give up on people and relationships. we all need people in some way or another. You sound like a good person. Ive have learned to not trust people as much. It has worked out well for me. What Im trying to say is before you let someone in get to know them and how they think and what they feel. I tend to put a guard up,untill I know them. try it, it cant hurt.

I'm a sucker for a sob story and I've been ripped off by so many con artists that I am beginning to think that I am wearing a sign on my forhead that says 'sucker'. The latest, I met on the internet and she handed me such a sob story about not having any money and how her husband left her after beating her within inches of her life. He the sold the house and emigrated leaving her with the children and no home. I drove over seventy miles to give her some furniture, crockery and some other household items. I made several similar trips with stuff for her. Later I did an internet search and found she was begging on almost every forum available and then selling the stuff. She was also boasting about the brand new new Honda Civic which she had just bought as well as a new house. Had I thought more about it, I should have known, that her husband (if she indeed had one) would never be allowed to sell the family home. The law forbids it. I don't blame you for not wanting another relationship but don't keep bashing yourself over the head. Sense comes to us with age, although in my case I don't think that will ever happen.

Wolfie, your problem is not a new one. You will see many people 'stuck' in relationships, whether it be being bullied or manipulated or people that get 'stuck' in abusive situations. How many of these people actually don't do anything about it and live their lives unhappy because they don't know any different. One advantage that you have over a lot is that you are aware of the situation. You are able to realize that you do not want to be in the situation. It will take time but you will find somebody that will be great for you. Just don't give up!!!!

Most psychoanalysts would say yes you are. By your body language by the hierachichal way that you either try to remain one up or one down with other men in your group. The way that you may avoid confrontation or if you are the quieter more given to introspection type of guy. If you are a smaller or thin guy lots of guys may think that you are a "safe target". You're not doing anything wrong you're just being you, try to learn to be more aggressive.

I do belive we attract certain people. I seems to always attract men who does not have their act together. They are always in financial problems. You can try some assertive technique so you wont be bullied, basically stand up for yourself.

It the Law of Attraction. You get what you think about, or, what you think you deserve. Even if your thoughts are unconscious. Sit down with a pen and paper, and write out what character traits you would like to have in a mate, and then stick to it. Do not compromise. Raise your standards to accept nothing less than the best...but make it conscious, write it down...and do not be fooled by physical attraction (chemistry).

I think it is true. I have heard about how you can change things like that through changing your thought process. I suppose if we go around thinking that we attract users, then we will. Now, understand that I have attracted my share of losers, users, and head cases. It isn't like I have ever really attracted a man who was really a good one. Some of it I think is due to hearing all of my childhood that I didn't deserve anything good and that I was just a worthless piece of meat. That idea has carried through and at almost 50 years old, I still think that is true of me. I have tried and tried to 'unprogram' myself to stop thinking like that and change my thought processes to be able to think more positively about bringing more good things into my life. All I can say is I believe it gets harder and harder to find someone decent the older one gets so hopefull you, Mr. Wolfie, will get to work changing this and if you have trouble then I would suggest doing what I do, seek counseling to help you discover why you think you only deserve this kind of person in your life and then help you through the change process. Good luck.

I am a little confused about this myself. Though I believe if a person has always been a little aggressive he tends to want to be around people where he can take charge because he would be a wimp to someone who is aggressive like himself. Have you noticed that two stand up people as they say can barely tolerate one another in the same room they both want to wear the hat.

if u've gud voice and prsonality u can attract any.

I think it is true. I have heard about how you can change things like that through changing your thought process. I suppose if we go around thinking that we attract users, then we will. Now, understand that I have attracted my share of losers, users, and head cases. It isn't like I have ever really attracted a man who was really a good one. Some of it I think is due to hearing all of my childhood that I didn't deserve anything good and that I was just a worthless piece of meat. That idea has carried through and at almost 50 years old, I still think that is true of me. I have tried and tried to 'unprogram' myself to stop thinking like that and change my thought processes to be able to think more positively about bringing more good things into my life. All I can say is I believe it gets harder and harder to find someone decent the older one gets so hopefull you, Mr. Wolfie, will get to work changing this and if you have trouble then I would suggest doing what I do, seek counseling to help you discover why you think you only deserve this kind of person in your life and then help you through the change process. good luck.

Hi and I definately feel we attract certain people. People often feel something is missing within ourselves and we seek that out in other people. We need someone to boost or feed our self esteem. I think if you truly want to change the type of person you attract or are attracted too, you must first fix who you are. We all have to realize that we are the only ones that can make us feel better. You have to focus on why you are attracted to bullies or manipulators, do you feel your not good enough to call the shots? or that you need someone to make the decisions for you? You have to feel you are good enough to choose the right restaurant to dine at or what movie you will go see. Your opinion counts and is worth expressing. Once you build your self esteem, the people you attract will also have a good esteem and you can then have a healthy relationship, but as the old saying goes "you must first love yourself before you can truly love another". Good luck and Smiles

i understand what you mean by that...some people really attracts badluck..and maybe your born into it..but you can still evade or make them go away..change youre routine of life ..i mean lifestyle...and always pray unto God to guide you always and that you may not be plunge into bad luck as always its only God who can help you...

It sounds like you recognize a pattern and that should be the first step in making corrections. You are the only one that can be tuned in enough and that truly knows yourself to know what you need to change about yourself or the way you act. And then again, it may not be YOU at all...but the other people. You seem nice enough here from all the conversations that I have read :)

I think we do attract certain types of people. As far as being manipulated however, that is something that people allow to happen. The key is to start recognizing it as you already have, and to make it stop happening. If that means getting rid of the person, then so be it. Some people may not realize that they are using you. Others not only realize it, they thrive on it. Those are the folks to get out of your life. I'm a very easy going person as well, often described as mellow. But it is very clear that I do not take stuff from anyone and will not be taken advantage of. You can be nice and still be confident and forthright.

Here is another fact. We have harmons that attract others. This harmons only attract certain people. Thou, sometimes i do not agree with this idea because we are often attracted when we do something great!

Well you dont attract people but you like being with people who are cool. And cool people generally tend to Bully People but that is a Nice gesture. to find out how good friends they are to You just ask them to do some small chores for you

YES EVERY OTHER PERSON HAS A TENDENCY TO ATTRACT ANOTHER PERSON