Joke-Freezing To Death
By wingho86
@wingho86 (85)
Hong Kong
January 14, 2007 7:13am CST
Two men waiting at the Pearly Gates strike up a conversation. “How’d you die?” the first man asks the second.
“I froze to death,” says the second.
“That’s awful,” says the first man. “How does it feel to freeze to death?”
“It’s very uncomfortable at first”, says the second man. “You get the shakes, and you get pains in all your fingers and toes. But eventually, it’s a very calm way to go. You get numb and you kind of drift off, as if you’re sleeping. How about you, how did you die?”
“I had a heart attack,” says the first man. “You see, I knew my wife was cheating on me, so one day I showed up at home unexpectedly. I ran up to the bedroom, and found her alone, knitting. I ran down to the basement, but no one was hiding there, either. I ran up to the second floor, but no one was hiding there either. I ran as fast as I could to the attic, and just as I got there, I had a massive heart attack and died.” The second man shakes his head. “That’s so ironic,” he says.
“What do you mean?” asks the first man.
“If you had only stopped to look in the freezer, we’d both still be alive.”
2 people like this
19 responses
@asfi123 (951)
• India
14 Jan 07
that was a good oe here is another joke for u
Little Johnny greeted his mother at the door after she had
been out of town all week and said, "Mommy, guess what?
Yesterday, I was playing in the closet in your bedroom and
Daddy came into the room with the lady from next door and
they got undressed and they got into bed and then Daddy got
on top of her and -" The mother held up her hand and said, "Not another word!
Wait until your father gets home and then I want you to
tell him exactly what you've just told me." The father
comes home and the wife tells him that she's leaving him..
"But why?" croaks the husband. "Go ahead, Johnny, tell Daddy
just what you told me." "Well," said little Johnny, "I was
playing in your closet and Daddy came upstairs with the lady
next door and they got undressed and they got into bed and
Daddy got on top of her and they did just what you did,
Mommy, with Uncle Bob ______________________________
@highflyingxangel (9225)
• United States
14 Jan 07
lmao that's just completely horrible, but yet funny all at the same time. seems what goes around comes around,lol.
@romyrsiwala06 (99)
• Philippines
15 Jan 07
kindly post some more jokes all posted here are funny. im not a funny guy. So i cant contribute on this. I love reading jokes.
@pinkeagle (202)
• United States
14 Jan 07
A Chinaman, a German, and a Dutchman are waiting at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter tells them that if they can answer a math question by figuring the answer in their heads without any external assistance they will get into heaven.
First, he asks the Chinaman, "How many seconds are in a year?".
The Chinaman gets out an abacus and starts to figure. St. Peter promptly sends him to hell.
Second, he asks the German,"How many seconds are in a year?".
The German gets out a calculator and starts to figure. St. Peter promptly sends him to hell.
Lastly, St. Peter asks the Dutchman,"How many seconds are in a year?".
Without hesitation the Dutchman says,"12".
St. Peter starts to pull the lever to send the Dutchman to hell then stops and asks,"How do you come up with 12?".
The Dutchman says,"January second, Febuarary second, March second ..."
@braveheartpt (3037)
• Portugal
15 Jan 07
That´s really a good one, thank you for make my day better, it´s always good to smile.
@jackf501 (853)
• Malaysia
15 Jan 07
a quickie please
A man goes into a restaurant and is seated. All the waitresses are gorgeous. A particularly voluptuous waitress wearing a very short skirt comes to his table and asks, "What would you like, sir?"
He looks at the menu and then scans her beautiful frame top to bottom, then answers, "A quickie."
The waitress turns and walks away in disgust. After she regains her composure she returns and asks again, "What would you like, sir?" Again the man thoroughly checks her out and again answers, "A quickie, please."
This time her anger takes over, she reaches over and slaps him across the face with a resounding "SMACK!" and storms away.
A man sitting at the next table leans over and whispers, "Um, Pal, I think it's pronounced 'quiche'."
1 person likes this
@ormsky (38)
• Thailand
15 Jan 07
very very good. another... man goes to the doctors and says my wife will not make love to me doc says give her one of these pills and come back in a week and tell me what happens, a week goes by man returns to the doc's still nothing he replys, doc gives him more pills "sure to work" doc states come back in week and let me know what happens week goes by man returns to doc"s all excited says doc the pills really worked, tell me what happened Well I went to get some butter out of the fridge and all of a sudden my wife stripped me naked and made wild love to me Good said the doctor not really said the man we where in the middle of Tesco's
@adityasingh (46)
• India
15 Jan 07
these jokes are really funny!!jokes are the best way to lighten up the gloomiest day.laughter really is the best medicine!
@greatstylish (87)
• India
15 Jan 07
hahahaha i enjoyed a lot this joke even i am going to share it with all my friends in my classs in the college.
@trysameer (219)
• India
15 Jan 07
really....jokes, tends us to smile...may b r frowny or sad....thats what jokes are meant for...! and really i u spelled a nice joke here..! i really praise u for this post..! thanx
