My sister-in-laws' husband had an affair and everyone knows it but her

i would prefer to tell all that is happening, let out the truth whats happening. Because the truth will have to come out some day and every one have to face it one day. So it would be better that it comes out fast before he leaves her. I dont think its makes some sense to live with such a guy and hide the truth from her. Its very late now, make it fast.

It's easy to see that you believe this woman is "stupid", but do you trust your own husband? What I mean is you have knowledge of something going on is another persons life and now you automatically judge her. You don't live in their house to hear why he is doing this or why he is doing that. She sounds like a faithful wife who loves her husband and has always trusted him and he himself hasn't given her anything to be suspisious about. Think about this, what if I told you that you were stupid becasue your husband has been running around on you? Then what if I told you that I've known this for about 3 years? Wouldn't one of the first things you would say was "you've known this for how long and you never told me?" OK now that you are in her position how do you feel? Secondly, grown ups can be just the same as teenagers. Rumors, rumors, rumors. People can be vicious and before you have actual proof of this happening other than hearing it in the office maybe you shouldn't say anything until you go off and ruin someone elses life. I'm not stating that you are in the right or in the wrong, but before you make a mistake find out for sure on your own with your own eyes or have something in writing or follow the guy to find out if you truly believe you are protecting the interest of this woman and her kid. Jumping on a rumor is just as bad don't you think. Then if you find out you will know what to do. This can happen to anyone naive or not.

If I would have been in your husband's place he would have been in the hospital long back. Her husband has made so many plans and you'll are still quiet about it. Family comes first rest all later. I feel it would be better if she comes to know from you'll then from some third person

Well i think your husband should let her know.No one really know that what is goin got happens.What if he marrries that women.So i think situation should be in control before they get worst.Wont it be better if you talk to her since you husband may wont like to talk to her sister about it.

adultery is no space in this world!!!

Your husband should definitely tell her and if he doesn't then you should take it upon yourself to let her know . The person being cheated on is always the last one to find out only because everyone is afraid of being the one to break up the relationship but the truth is the relationship is already broken . The longer she remains in the dark thinking her marriage is great the more she will be hurt in the end . It is possible she is not as naive as you believe her to be , she may suspect something but is unable to face it on her own , she will need family to get her through this ordeal .

I would tell her. I would want to know if I was her.

I think he needs to tell her, but I hope he doesn't end up the bad guy in this. Sometimes people get mad at the "messenger" when all they want to do is protect the person. But he is her brother and I think he has to tell her.

Normally I would say that you should stay out of it. But is her husband the type that would run in her face how everyone knew even her family and no one cared enough to tell her? I'd hate for your husband to ruin his relationship with his sister by not telling her but would he ruin it by telling her? Anyways, I would want to know and I'd be very ticked to find out that my brother and sister in law knew and no one said anything. This is a very tough spot to be in :(

I think he ought to tell her. He is her brother and he needs to protect her from this. It's going to hurt, but it will hurt worse if he waits for the hubby to leave her. At least this way, she may have a chance to get counseling etc for them (if she wants to stay with the jerk). It doesn't matter that she SHOULD know, (maybe she suspects, but is in denial?) if she doesn't know, she needs to be told. Good luck to you and your hubby.. that's a hard thing to do, but must be done.

Simple spill the beans. Otherwise u never know how things can turn out. Once ther truth comes out then ihere might be worse probs, and if she finds out that ur husband knevthen things might turn sore

if it was my sister i would make it my business to let her find out , he doesnt even have to tell her himself. arrange something between you that he will be caught with his lover then let you sisterin law do what she has to do , and it wont be a case of shoot the messenger

Maybe your husband should confront the brother in law and insist if he doesn't tell, your hubby will.. Your sister in law has the right to know..

very tough situation! well that man is very mean actually and you all are encouraging him by not saying him anything!have you and your husband talked to him....first talk to him before telling your sis in law about him,and see how he reacts...if hes not bothered ..this means he wants to step out of the relationship....its really frustating for your husband to watch her sis being ditched ,when he also cant actually do anything...and her kids...oh god y should they suffer...!your sis in law is too sweet,well you should first warn her husband ..wait and see!if in vain,,,,,then its better they stay away from each other coz this man doesnt deserves to bbe with her...i know its the toughest thing to do!

If someone was cheating on my brother or sister I would NOT let them get away with it.. noone treats my family like that. i would for sure tell her, in a gentle way. she will be so hurt, but in the long run she will be better of without him!

Well she definatly needs to be told. I would hate to have hjer out to be made a fool when she finds out 5 years later that her hubby has been cheating on her, and everyone knew and no one told her. It might hurt her more. Can you document anything??? Is there proof laying around that he is cheating??? You need to tell her, or someone needs too!! OR you can threaten to black mail her hubby if he doesnt tell her everything???

If he wont tell her maybe you should. Normaly I would say let this play itself out but, this guy is such a jerk he has it all planned out so he can save money! He dont care about her and it sounds like he dont care about his kids either. Then there is your husband. Is he not telling her because he thinks she needs someone to take care of her? Is he affraid she will not find anyone else? Maybe in a way he is trying to pertect her? You could try talking to your husband about it and ask him why she will be hurt but its better she gets told now rather than 5 years from now when her kids are grown.