Different punisment ideas...time outs etc.

i have an 8 year old son, and i find bribary works wonders, all parents know that children start wanting things, whether it's possesion, things their own way, or your time. if you play games with your kids, then tell them you will play a certain game if they do this thing for you first. if you buy the sweets, then have a jar of sweets in the kitchen, ask them to do the thing you want them to do, with the promise of a sweet afterwards. it seems to work for me :) good luck

growing up, if I didn't clean up toys, after a few times of asking they got tossed in a bag and I had to earn them back.

I have an 11 yr old like your 4 yr old. you let me know if you figure it out. My 12 yr old is just like your 7 yr old. She never cleans up, and is constantly told to do it. The best thing to do is make rules and stick to them

I know exactly what you are going through. I don't know if this idea will work with your child, but it sure worked with mine. I gave my son a couple of hours to pick up the toys in his room, when it wasn't done, I did it myself. I took the toys and put them in a box in my closet. In order for them to get one back, he had to do a good deed. Those good deeds could be just about anything. Reading a story to his little sister, helping to set the table, holding the door for you, saying thank you, etc. You would not believe the things that got accomplished. I always gave him a hug and told him I loved him for whatever he did. When that started getting old, and it will, I told him how proud I was of him when he was doing the good deeds. I also let him know that when I had to put the toys in the box, I was disappointed. My son did not like to make me "sad", so things did improve around the house. It actually got to the point where he turned to a "neat freak" when he got older. His room ended up being one of the most organized in the house. He lives with his girlfriend now, and she even comments on how much of a help he is around the house. As for the four year old rolling her eyes and being "saucy", I feel she is just seeing how far she can go. If you respond to it in a negitive way, she knows it is working. Just ignore that behavior, when she finds that it is not getting a response, she will come up with something else. Children are very smart, they will try anything to get a rise out of us. Good or bad. I wish you the best of luck with your children. Parenting can be as difficult as it is rewarding.

I have a 6yr old daughter that has a problem cleaning her room and also has major attitude. I just tell her that if I have to get in there and clean her room, I will end up throwing stuff out and then she won't have to worry about mess as she won't have anything to make a mess. I also tell her she can't have friends over to play in her room if it's a mess. I found with my daughter that I have to always be 2 steps ahead of her with punishments. What I mean is that I have continually change them. I used to do time outs, but they just don't work anymore. I just take things away from her now and the longer she carries on about it, the longer I keep it. I wish you the best of luck and I know how frustrating it can be.

perhaps you are expecting too much from your kids. their main job in life is toplay, and learn, not do housework and follow strict rules. In order to help your daughters learn to clean their room, you have to first show them how, help them do it and then let them try on their own. reward them every time they do something properly even if its just GOOD JOB. next time you want your daughter's room clean, grab 2 bins and have a contest to see who can pick up the most toys. and let her win once in awhile. Andstop expecting perfection, what a 7 year oldthinksis clean does notcompareto what an adult does. As for the eye rolling, that comes about when the parent is always demanding things, or yelling.Its "there she goes again, that crazy lady" And really, isn't it easier to just close the bedroom doors instead of yelling and repeating things over and over and then just winding up doing them yourself because its not good enough for YOUR standards

I have one suggestion for you that worked for my 7 year old. A general command of "clean the room" is a lot for a little kid to digest. Try to break it down. First say, "pick those toys up and put them in the toy box" then after that is done try "Ok, now make your bed" and "those clothes belong in the laundry". If you make it smaller tasks at a time, you may have a lot better success than just a general request to clean the room. They may not know where to start, expecially if it is really a mess.

Well when we were growing up after being told the second time if they had to tell us again we got a swift swat to the tush. I mean it didn't hurt but we knew they meant business and we better move or another swat or two was on the way. I believe in spanking. There is a difference between spanking and beating.

i think you are the parent, and you decide what to do! maybe you can try a sticker system! ask him what he realy likes to do, or want to have as a gift! then give him 10 stickers, and everytime he listens, or help you with cleaning he get's one! when he he doing something ba he have to give you one back. as soon he has ten stickers, you give him a gift, or do something with him he realy likes! or another idea: make a box with the toys(stuff) he realy likes, if he don't listen you take one out and hide it from him! no more then 10 toys! so if he listens the box sta full, if he don't it is getting empty! and give one back if he does something good! and ofcourse you can have a time out place! i use the hallway! as soon as my daughter don't listen to me i give her two warnings, at the second one i tell her that if it happens for the thirth time she must go to the hallway! she is two years so i let her wait for 2 minutes to get back into the room, and i tell her why she was standing there , right now only saying that she is going to the hallway is enough! ofcourse she will try things out but it works! just be strong if they leave that time outplace, put them back until they stay, even it takes 30 times! good luck!

Try to turn it around to where the child gets to make the decision. Ask..Do you want to pick up in the den or your room first?Do you want to clean your room before or after lunch?By letting them make the decision, it gives them a sense of control. You have to word the questions to where you will get what you want either way. Good luck.

Good punishement idea is to give them a chair and make them sit still for like 10 minutes if they did something rude :) And about cleaning room i cant help you since my parents never even managed to convince me to this one so i cant think of anything that could help. Or maybe you can say - if you want to go out your room have to be clean :) And if the children turns out to be extremlly rude you can spank them ( not too hard - just once to show them what is extremlly not right!)

When it comes to cleaning rooms, my children get one chance to clean it. They have a wall of bins in every room. Each bin holds a specific type of toy. They have one hour to clean their rooms. Whatever is not put away or in the wrong bins is mine. They have learned really quick to clean it up. They have lost several several toys due to not listening and cleaning their rooms when they are told. My children know that the their toys are priveledges and that by law a parent is only to supply a house, a bed, clothing, food and education. Beyond that everything is a priveledge. So I have no problem taking toys away. And my kids learned that really quick. Also they should clean their room once a day. A lot of kids run into problems with cleaning rooms when parents only make them clean once a week. By the end of the week there are probably so many toys out that it is overwhelming. So make them clean it up once a day and they will notice that mosr of the time they can be done in 15 minutes. Good luck

I have a brother and he hates cleaning his room so my mom who has just bought him something new like a small dvd player (not for cleaning his room mind you) or a new toy or even something old like his x-box. She will take it out of the room and not let it go in there untill it is clean and she will tell him that. And he cleans it because he wants the object that has been taken so that he can use/play with it. As for your Saucy 4 year old, whenever she becomes rude in rolling her eyes and such tell her that is rude and tell her that untill she stops doing it, that you will not help her with what she wanted. I have a 3 year old sister who I've pretty much raised since she was 6mo, who likes to get Saucy and sometimes I get her hands to remind her what she is doing is wrong but often I talk to her about what she's doing and in order for me to help her what she needs to do. On a last minute note...though it sounded like it I'm not trying to tell you what to do. Sorry if it came across that way.

I have found with my children that when they refuse to clean up if I come in the room with a trash bag, they start cleaning right away. But, I will say if you are going to threaten to toss out their toys then you have to be completly prepared to go all the way through. Kids are very smart and know when you are being serious and when you are making an empty threat. I made a believer out my kids when I first did it I threw out a small grocery bag of toys and it went out with the next days garbage. I have had no issue since then. As for you daughter I have nothing my 4 yr old is a little snooty princess at times I ususally just look at her say I don't like they way you are treating me, and I leave the room. Sometimes this works and sometimes it doesn't.

I wouldn't dream of saying a command and my son execute it at once. So, I clean up the room or the house but I have him to help me. You see the best thing for the kids is to see that they have some how equal responsibilities with the grown ups. So, I often challenge him to help me clean. If I want him to gather his toys, I pretend that I try to do it myself but my back is in pain and I can;t do it, so I tell him "Angel, please, my back is in pain. would you llike to help mammy gather your toys?" And boom, he does that instantly.

It's hard to bring up children. I have two daughters one is 12 and the other is 4 years old. My elder daughter always tells me why is it that I don't tell my younger daughter to do the things and has to be told atleast upteen times to do something. I think every where the comments are the same. People tell me too to be strict and when I am strict they tell me not to be so strict with them. I too am desperate to find something that works!

I would be firm. I have an 18 year old son and a 9 year old daughter and we were always strict as far as manners and stuff. I think you have to punish age appropriately. When they are older you take something away. Like no phone, no tv or no video games. Something like that. When they are younger I would do time outs. Do you ever watch SuperNanny. I think she has some great ideas. But as far as your 4 year old I would nip it in the bud right now because it'll only get worse if you allow it.

What I did with my sons was to with hold their meal until they had picked things up. Some people think this is cruel or illegal but you are not stating that you will never feed them, you are saying "you can have your food after you clean up". Another things to do, if you cannot stand the thought of delaying food, is to throw away anything that is not put away, and do not buy another to replace it. You can tell them, as they watch the toys hit the trash bin, that there will not be toys all over the palce and ovbiously they don't care. If "Santa" brings them most of their toys, then your next Christmas should be alot cheaper, because you are n't going to buy them more than one or two toys each. Be sure to follow through. Don't fall into that "but I want them to have...."syndrome. Thing is, the room is never going to be quiet as clean as you want it to be. Realize that they don't really own the room, so their motivation to have it "nice" is not going to be the same as when they have their own home. If you don't provide material for clutter then you are teaching them to appreciate the things they have, hopefully, but more importantly, you are managing your stress in an adult fashion.

I just went through this last nigh with my girls ages 12 and 7 they share a room and I too am always repeating myself clean your room clean your room I had it last night so I calmly called them to come to me for a chat,I said ok girls you like having your room right?of course its a yes.I say then we need a change now I have warned you,repeated over and over and this is it.tonight you get in that room and get it spotless and organized,if it does not continue to stay this way,I am going to pack up everything,I will allow you your outfits daily of my choosing,take down your beds,allow you a blanket and pillow at night but all you will have is a floor in this room and nothing more,so its your choice girls,what do you prefer when friends come over your room or a floor?my 7 yr old cried and my 12 yr old was scared.this morning I over heard them before school say come on lets double check our room!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!YEAH I hope this works

Darling.. I have 6 kids.. 20,18,17,13,8,and 5 the youngest 2 are boys and lets me tell you something.. In the 20 years I have been a parent, there is nothing you can do at those ages to make them do anything if they dont want to.. No matter what you try their going to refuse, give attitude, etc. It is just part of being a child.. It has nothing to do with bad parenting either.. Its just a fact of life you have to breath through. lol.. Dont get to upset when they dont do as told.. It doesnt work. They dont care. lol Just tell them nicely and then basically you will end up doing it yourself. Thats what Mommies do.. ;-)