old fashion
By missyc
@missyc (103)
October 5, 2006 9:35am CST
I have 4 children and i try to raise them with respect for there elders. i will NOT let them swear, they have to say please, thank-you and excuse me. when we are walking down a foot path and an adult is coming in the oppisit direction i make them walk on the grass and let them through. if we are sitting some where and there is an ealder person standing one of my children will sit on my lap so that they can sit down. and always be polite. my grandmother raised me will these values and so many more that i am passing on to my children. i get told all the time what well mannered children that i have {they are a handfull as i let them do as they want they are children they need to learn and keep active} am i old fashion, there are so many parents out there that just dont care how there children act towards adults.
2 people like this
31 responses
@MINDY0882 (2302)
• United States
7 Oct 06
I think thats great and probly the best way to do it. my freinds parents was the same way and when i stayed with them we was to tell them yes mam or no sir and thats when i started saying it to everyone,even me being 27 if i go shopping and the cashier is younger than me i still say yes mam to them.U must show respect to others . So many kids are not taught that and that is one of the problems with most teenagers I think.your not old fashion either u know what worked for u as a child and just are raising your kids the same way and it is great
@MINDY0882 (2302)
• United States
7 Oct 06
same here, what u are teaching your kids is great and they will grow up knowing what respect is and hopefully teach there kids the same way
@ShannaS (557)
• United States
13 Oct 06
You sound old fashioned and southern. :-)
People can say what they want about the south but there is a lot of respected elderly people that have handed down great morals to their children and grandchildren. I have taught mine the same. The world doesn't respect anyone anymore, we all live in fear and no one wants to talk to a stranger or lend a helping hand any more. I think what you are teaching your children is excellent and who cares what others think, the ones that claim you aren't doing right will just end up having kids that beat up the other kids and rob l!quor stores anyway lol
@missyc (103)
•
13 Oct 06
thank you so much.
i am however from Australia and am an Aussie, but thank you from the complement.
i do tell my children not to talk to strangers, only in fear of them being taken. in the last year i have had 4 letters from the school about men trying to get a child in the car around the surrounding areas. the other day an elderly man was walking his dog and slipped over. i droped the stuff i was holding and ran over to help him up. he could not say thank you enough and said it was so good of me to help him. i just did what i would expect anyone to do for my grandmother and what i thought was the right thing to do. it is true manners, respect and good will is getting lost as we get older, and it is so sad.
@JoyfulOne (6232)
• United States
5 Oct 06
Bless your heart for educating your children in the most basic of human kindnesses. Common courtesy has seemed to go by the wayside in our modern age. I don't think it's old fashioned at all, you're teaching respect for other people. Too many children are being raised to believe it's always 'me first.' Well mannered children will do better in life because they've learned the valuable life skills and how to get along with others. My grandson (3 1/2) is learning this way also, he says please and thank you, and is very polite and happy. Too bad so many parents don't get the message that we are usually treated in the same manner that we treat others. My hat's off to you!
@missyc (103)
•
6 Oct 06
Thank you so much. i have been to the shopping centre and have seen children screaming at there parents and saying 'i want' and the parents either do or give them what they want. i was at a party once where a 13 year old girl told her mum to shut the f#*! up. i turned to my daughter and say if you ever spoke to me that way regardless of where we are you will be sorry. the girl just wlked away smiling, i was horrified. the girl was no longer allowed at my house and told my daughter she was not the type of girl that i wanted her to hang around.
@JoyfulOne (6232)
• United States
6 Oct 06
Missyc, that's just horrible the way that girl treated her mother! I can't believe she'd let her get away with that. Can you imagine what kind of adult she will be???? I don't blame you for not letting her come to your house anymore, if you did, it would be like a silent message to your children that you would put up with that kind of behavior or even condone it. You see way too much of this kind of thing anymore, it's a real shame what's happening to our society. I cannot imagine what must have been going on in that mother's mind to make such actions acceptable?! You sound like a really wonderful Mother! Keep doing what you're doing, your children will make it a lot further in life than hers ever will. She's not doing her kid any favors by letting her get away with that!
@crabby1 (304)
• Australia
1 Nov 06
I think Kids today are between the devil and the deep blue sea. We try to raise them with principles that are acceptable to society and they watch TV shows like The Simpsons which is full of bad language and offensive behaviour so they get a whole different perspective on life. The Newspapers spell words incorrectly on purpose just to make the by line look catchy and the Kids see the words written that way and think it spelt correctly and know no better. no wonder they have difficulty passing English spelling exams.
@JulietsMom777 (1182)
• United States
7 Oct 06
You are not old fashion at all. I have so much respect for you and that is how I want my daughter to behave. So many mothers just let their children run around crazy in public their children say anything to anyone, if an adult says something to the children then the mother gets all upset. My daughter is only 9 months but I teach her right from wrong and I will do all of this as she grows up .
@missyc (103)
•
7 Oct 06
i was at a park about a year ago and my son was in a boat rocking it, there was other kids in it as well and this mother walked up and sad to my son 'would you stop rockin it so hard' i walked over and said to her 'please' she said what i said again 'please' she started yelling at me and and i said you would expect my child to use his manners if he was talking to you and i would hope you would do the same. she picked up her phone and called her friends to come down to the park because she neede some one sorted out. i waited gor the friends to come down, my son was playing with a couple of the kids and one of the mothers called him over and asked what happened he told and she looked at the other lady and told her to grow up. i then walked over and said she called all of you down here because i asked her to say please to my then 5 year old son? i looked at her and asked her if she felt like a fool? put my kids in the car and drove of. i could not believe that it happened. and i wondered how can anyone get respect if they dont give it....
@JulietsMom777 (1182)
• United States
7 Oct 06
That mother is so childish, she shouldn't have gotten mad there was no reason for it at all. Mother's can be so ignorant no wonder why so many children behave the way they do. Im glad that you were the bigger person.
@cheydancer (5)
• United States
6 Oct 06
I do not think teaching children respect, common courtesy and manners is old fashioned. I feel that if more people would guide and instruct their children in these things then the world would be a 'kinder, gentler' place.
For quite some time, I felt alone in these beliefs. It is refreshing to hear someone with the same concerns.
Don't let others dissuade you from a job well worth doing and well-done. Your children will thank you in the long run, as have mine.
@missyc (103)
•
6 Oct 06
i use to think that i was also alone. i feel like an outsider in my family as none of them teach these things to there children and alot of them encourage there children to swear and be rude to adults and laugh about it. as sad as it is my children do not know many of there cousins because i do not want them around this sort of behavier. if i see them down the street i will talk to them, but as far as my children playing with there children it does not happen. my sisters little 2 year old told me one day to f off. i was so upset about it and so cranky because she laughed about it. and to top it of we were sitting in a medical centre. you know when you just want the world to open up and swollow you! thats how i felt. and it sould so disrespectful, i could not imagin any of my children being rude to any one.
@missyc (103)
•
7 Oct 06
my partner had one of his friends come to the house once and tryed to get on of my children to swear, my partner said if he swears you are going to get such a bashing you will never forget it. the thing is he would had bashed him and the guy knew it, he said he was sorry and to this day has never tryed any thing like that again. people know that when it comes to politness and manners we dont take it lightly. i even make a point to say please and thank you to adults that dont use them, weather my children are there or not.
@cheydancer (5)
• United States
7 Oct 06
I understand!
I am always appalled by the seeming new 'morals' being taught to children.
I caught one of my ex-husband's friends attempting to teach my oldest daughter (years ago) some of the rudest langauge complete with the 'f' word.
He thought it was hilarious.
I cannot tell you how hurt and angry I was that he would attempt to sully a two-year old in such a way.
It's enough that they are exposed to it as they grow from the outside, surely friends and family should support each other in keeping the innocence of children as long as possible while guiding them towards becoming caring, compassionate, understanding adults.
@Sunset50 (1397)
• United States
13 Oct 06
I feel respect is the most important value we can teach a child including respect for their parents. You are doing an excellent job with teaching values. When mine were little, they were to apologize when they did something wrong. The lack of respect and what some may call old fashion values is the reason children are so out of hand nowdays. Keep up the good work.
@chalmette69 (3007)
• United States
11 Oct 06
Well, I think you are doing a great job, I have raised mine to be the same way, I think you should definatly teach your child to be respectful, especially toward adults, I want mine to be well-mannered as well, and I think if you raise your child with manners and respect, they will be a well adjusted adult.
@blazonvj (428)
• India
6 Oct 06
its the choice of their parents,how to raise their children..so ur not old fashioned or something like that..people think different...u can go in ur own way..but dont blame others...that they are not raising their children like this and like that..ok?....
cos even if u raise ur children like this,at some point of time they may,i repeat,they may..misbehave.we can never be sure..and also children who are not brought up like this may behave better than ur children...
anyway u have done a great job...keep it up.
@AndreaM76 (1164)
• United States
11 Oct 06
Execellent! My children are not angels but we have instilled thhe same in our kids. It's so frustrating to take them to places and they are minind their manners and waiting in line while other kids cut and take away what they are doing. They just look back at us like help! I don't mind correcting the ill behaved child because their parents' aren't paying any attention anyway. Good for you.
@missyc (103)
•
13 Oct 06
i am the same regarless of weather the parent is looking or not. if my children are waiting and another child cuts in i will let them know where the line is and that they have to get to the back of it. and some parents think that there children have the right to do this.
and thank you.
@sassybritches72 (494)
• United States
11 Oct 06
I dont think it is old fashion to bring kids up with manners and respect. I have 4 kids and they have been taught to say please and thank you and to have respect for others. and I will admit my kids are normal kids they bicker with each other, argue with me about things, etc but my kids are not rude to people. they say thank you for the things they receive no matter who gave it to them, they have respect for others and their feelings and I feel that is important and it has taught them alot, 2 of my sons on different occasions have come home from school and told me how they shared their snack with another child in their class because the child forgot theirs and they felt bad for them, and I was proud to hear how they cared enough to share and it shows me that what I have been trying to teach them is working. I definitely do not think manners and respect are old fashion and I think more kids should be brought up with them.
@polly44 (15)
• United States
11 Oct 06
Good Job! I have a 3 year old and at times she is really rude But I am teaching her how to be polite she already say yes mam to me and I did not teach her that so I guess she listen to me about being polite. I think she is rude from time to time b-cuz she is 3. But for the most part she says thank you and please. Parents should care how their chldren behave. I think that is why we have so many problems now days.
@missyc (103)
•
13 Oct 06
thank you, and its good to hear that you are teaching your child manners. i think that those who have manners and respect will get a lot further than those that are rude.
and it does seem that more and more parents just dont care and it is a shame because every child can be a great person they just need a parent to guide them to the right path.
@siberian_huskys_mama (314)
• United States
13 Oct 06
Apparently teaching manners isn't as popular as it once was, especially in larger cities (not sure why that is). I was raised in the same fashion as yourself. I don't have any children (yet), but I can guarantee you that they will be instilled with the same manners that my parents taught me. Good for you!
@bhchy1 (6047)
• United States
6 Oct 06
Have you any idea how refreshing that is to hear? You are doing your children a great service and you are lucky that you had a grandmother who gave you those basic values. There have many conversations on here where epople defend their child's right to be rude, not apologize etc...then they want to know why children have no respect. Thank you for pointing out what is really important when raising children! I don't feel so alone anymore!
@sillygirlsd (959)
• United States
7 Oct 06
It's great to teach kids good manners...at such an early age! As they get older they will remember to keep their manners and morals. I can't stand kids that don't mind their manners...some kids do get on my nerves(sad to say!)and some parents don't seem to care....I know I'm going to try to raise my kids the best I can...to be polite to their elders and say please and thankyou.....and maybe mam and sir! that would just sound so cute coming out of a 5 yr olds mouth!!!! I praise you and hope you continue doing a greeat job raising your kids!!!
@missyc (103)
•
7 Oct 06
my children do run around and get crazy at times but its always the politness that is remembered. and thank you so much.
although i live in Australia and we do not hear any one use sir or mam that often, i agree it would be the sweetest sound.
thank you so much, glad not not alone. and wishing you all the best from one mother to another.
@ossie16d (11821)
• Australia
11 Oct 06
Congratulations on teaching good values to your children now while they are young. Manners are just so important, as are consideration and respect for others. They will take these lessons through life with them, and be better people as a result of your teaching them now. :)
@Inklings (1255)
• United States
6 Oct 06
Good for you! Far too many parents are not living up to their responsibilities when it comes to teaching their kids how to be decent members of society. Children need to be guided -- firmly, but lovingly -- into adulthood.
I do not understand parents who think that they are doing their kids a favor by letting them do as they please. Kids respond well to caring guidance and by teaching them to be caring, respectful people, you will make their lives easier in the long run.
Keep up the good work!
@Weasel_Sponge (1069)
• Canada
11 Oct 06
I learned how to be a decent human being from my parents and grandparents, and to this day (I'm 28 years old), I still fear my mother-and that's not a bad thing! I value her opinion of me, and there's absolutely nothing worse that disappointing her-she can still give me "the look" and I know I should shut my mouth;) And my family taught me to respect everyone, regardless of their station in life. I can remember being a very young child going to the city with my grandma to shop for groceries; in "the city", there were people I had never seen before. On the way home (we took the bus as grandma didn't drive), a homeless man approached us at the stop. He asked us for change, and my grandmother politely said "No, I'm sorry...I don't have any "extra"...but you know what? Let's see what I have here..." She proceeded to look through the grocery bags we had, and handed him some apples and other "things" like a box of granola bars. She asked him if he had a place to sleep and told him about the various services she knew of in the city that would help him. That simple exchange has stuck with me throughout my life-and in every situation I am ever faced with, I try to lead by example. It's never even occured to me to treat ANYone with any less than absolute dignity and respect, even if I don't get it in return.
