Child Support

Wow u are tripping. first of all she should not have done that if the child never lived with her but if u did not have primary custdoy of that child then she has the right to collet weather it is right or wrong. i believe that if one had one child and the other had the other child but whoever has the child that turns 18 first should then turn around and help the other child out. you married a man with kids thats part of the package..why dont u get a job and help him out then u wont struggle...remember u only know what happened in relationship from what he tell u no telling what he did to her...i hate women like u always trying to start something over nothing. if u pay child suppot and u are current with it u can go to court to c this other child but i bet u dont wanna do that, right. 450 is not much to pay in child support i know ppl who pay way more than that for just one child be thankful.

Since your husband is taking responsbility he should be paying to help support the child that doesn't live with you. If he has issues with how much he pay, then he should go to court nad have it reduced. You shouldn't punish the child that doesn't live with you and have them go without just because you don't like the mother and what she has done. The court would not have allowed her back child support if she did not deserve it and your husband would not be payinbg $450/month if the income didn't work out that way. If she isn't working, then yes she should work. However, that doesn't meaan your husband shouldn't pay any amounbt of support or that what he is suppose to pay will decrease. You need to accept the fact that he does need to pay this support and I hate to be mean, but you should have considered that before having kids with him. Personally, I think you should be grateful you only pay $450 a month. If your husband didn't go to court when all this was filed, or didn't get a good enough lawyer, then he is to blame for not standing up to her.

I dont think it is always women. My husband has custody of both his kids. She pays a whole 50.00 a month to support her two kids. She spends all her money on whatever she wants and doesnt ever pay for her kids things. NOT JUST MEN ARE DEADBEATS. I think you should have to pay for your child EVEN if you arent seeing them. IF you would have been smart you would have had this court ordered. YOU DIDNT, so now you are stuck paying. live and learn

sick and tired of women complaining? wow. as far as i know - i was the first woman to put a thread here about not receiving child support. how could you be sick and tired from such an injustice such as this. from what i know. it needs more attention!

I am sorry but what does all that have to do with the child? As the words say it is chils support it has nothing to do with his ex. He can't run away from the fact that he put children in the world. If you want to see the child way not move to the state where the child lives. The man is just as much to blame as the woman!!!!!

How about you stop whining about it? She had the child with him, he has to pay support. Point blank. She might have been wrong for what how she handled the first situation, but there is still another child involved. And frankly, whether he is your husband or not, that is between him and her. I wish me and my husband would get divorced and his new wife complain about his child support. If he leaves you, your gonna want child support right? And for all women who have children with men who dont take care of them.. HOW DARE YOU say get a job and stop punishing them. They made the kids jsut like we did, yeah, so they have to pay their end too. Why should I have to spend every penny I have because YOU have 2 other kids to take care of. That is NOT my problem. You have a child, take care of him. Period. You sound like a money grubbing wife yourself. You should want him to take care of his responsability, not complain because she is asking him too.

My mom went to court and lied while my parents were getting a divorce. She told them she made like ten times more than she did so that she could keep the child support payments out of the court system. My dad fell thousands behind in payments and my mom never made him catch up or told him he couldn't see us. One month he said he wasn't going to pay the full 250 (for both me and my sister) so my mom said as long as he bought me a new set of gloves for the hockey season that she would call it even. My mom bent over backwards to keep my dad involved with us despite him being a deadbeat dad.

In part I agree with you but I also have to say that he is still responsible for that child. What your husband needs to do is take a weekend and go see his daughter and try to make ammends with her so you guys can get her to come for visits. Be gratefull your husband wants to see his kid and is willing to pay the support. MY sons father has not seen my son is almost 2yrs nor has he paid a single penny of child support either. The same goes for my oldest daughter. Her father has NEVER seen her and she is 7 nor has he ever sent me a penny of support. Just imagine how hard that is on my husband having to support 2 kids that are not even his all by himself.

If one of the children that your ex had with this woman was being cared for totallly by him, it is difficult to see how she could have any legitimate claim to financial support from him. What you seem to be saying is that she is looking for money for caring for a child that he took care of. Regarding the other child, it seems right that he pays financial support towards maintenance, what is wrong with that? Regarding the reasons why their relationship did not work out, this has no bearing on whether or not he should support his kids, or do you think that because she cheated on him that he should have to pay less? This doesn't seem fair to me. I agree that people both men and women should enjoy our kids and get jobs, but I also think that men and women should both support any children they produce. I don't agree with you that seeking maintenance is punishing fathers! The problem here seems to be that YOU are suffering financially by not having access to the full part of your husband's wages as he is committed elsewhere. You must have known before you married him that he had a past life in which he fathered two children? If so, you knew what you were taking on. I know it doesn't seem fair that you are struggling financially but would you really want your husband not to have to pay for his own kids? If you split with him and he met somebody new, what would you think if she thought you were just punishing him? Think about this.

The situation that you are describing doesn't make any sense whatsoever. If your husband and you had one of his children with you, and his ex had the other, then why on earth would he be liable to pay child support to her? Wouldn't she then have to pay your husband for caring for her child also? Of course, it makes much more sense that it should just be equal, so neither her or him would have to pay. I think it is time for your husband to take this to the court and tell them his side of the story. Maybe the court system has no idea that your husband raised one child, and she raised one child from their past relationship....

I do not cry. I have 2 jobs. I enjoy my daughter AND i sure as hell have never try reaching the guy anymore. HOW is the guy being punished, if a man doesnt pay in years - then it eventually catches up to him.

I so hear you on this. My husband has two children with different women and the youngest one's mother up and moved when the boy was 2 years old. He still paid child support even though we had no idea where she was (the state forwarded the payments to her). After almost 10 years we finally found her again and she promised to stay in touch only to move a couple of months later. Now we have to find her again. My husband would really like to be more than a monthly check to his son but when we have to spend so much time and energy looking for her it gets really frustrating.

i don't know what state you live in,but the are laws that protect you from this.call your local child support division,they can help you.i was married to an ex that had a child and i was dumb enough to pay his child support to his ex;at the same time i was recieving child support for my infant twin girls.i was also working 50 hrs. a week.its not always what you think,some men don't mind making the baby,but when there here;its moms babies and dads maybe.just check out w/ your local agency.

Sorry i need to add something else. My childrens father from a previous relationship hasnt paid a DIME of child support or even make the effort to see them. My husband takes care of them, even the ones that arent his. He is daddy. And i dont punish my ex for being a deadbeat, i let him be. He says, oh, i have 2 other kids to worry about. AND??? But i let it go cuz im better than that and I work hard to support my kids without him. But if i ever catch him in court i dont care who im taking his money from, his girl his other kids whoever, dont matter to me, because he made em so take care of them. AND give me the money you owe me. And if you were his wife id tell you a thing or 2 i cant say on here. Ooh you made me mad with this. Some nerve of some people.

Did your husband go to court to establish the living arrangement for the child that he had living with him? Was there ever a court order for how child support and medical needs and such would be split since one parent had one child and the other parent had the other child? Was there ever a court order established for visitation rights for both parents to see the respected child each had in their care? See, if you say no to all of this, unfortunately you husband messed himself up then by not legally going to court to establish the living arrangements of the kids. The courts may have made his ex-wife accountable for child support to the child he had living with him, and he accountable for child support for the child she had with her, visitation rights could have been established and this all would have been in black and white. As for what the ex-wife did to mess up the marriage, that has no baring on whether a child made in the marriage receives child support. I happen to believe that if 2 people make kids they are 50% responsible for financially supporting those children regardless of how the marriage ends or in most cases never happens. You are right they both should be working to support the children they made. The courts generally don't care if either the man or woman has gone on to make new families, they will generally say you knew you had other children and they come first, we didn't tell you go have more if you couldn't care for the others you had. I don't understand how the ex-wife was awarded back arrearages for the child not in her care. Did you husband go to court with proof that the child was in his care till age 18? If he didn't, he needs to get a family court lawyer now, and petition the court to reopen the case. He could also at that time ask for an adjustment in the amount he has to pay for the underaged child she has, and he can even petition for arrearages that the ex-wife owes him for caring and raising the other child, plus he could petition for visitation rights and make her 50% responsible to pay for travel expense of that child. I would hope your husband would want to see the child he made. Verbal agreements on child custody often get messy, which is why you need a court order established. It definitely sounds like the ex-is being shrewd. I'd definitely nip this one by getting a family court lawyer. Hope this all works out for your family.

Your sick of listening to women complain about not getting child support?? What about the single mums out there, looking after the kids, not getting a cent, not being able to work because childcare costs would take her entire paycheck and you think they are just complaining?? Well, how about you try and live through that! There are some bad eggs out there, i will admit, but alot of the mums out there are struggling too, so instead of bi***ing about what your husband is going through. How about you shut up, walk a mile in someone elses shoes and appreciate what the hell you have!

I think you are being a little selfish. I have raised my husband's oldest child, and his ex raised the youngest. We rarely got to see the youngest, and I never resented the fact that we sent regular support for him. Both boys are grown now, and I have a better relationship with the one we didn't raise than I do with the one we did. The money sent is for the child's benefit, and is always the responsibilty of both parents. I know how you feel about the ex, I felt that way, too, but you shouldn't transfer these feelings to the child, who is the innocent victim in all of this. If you want to change things, try looking within yourself first. I'm sure you would feel a lot differentkly about the whole thing if you were in her shoes!

I totally agree with you. I mean, I see women asking for child support, as a weak person. If the father would not bother to give your child the financial support, then show him that you can make your way to support your kid all the way. That's responsible parenting.

I think that you need to get a lawer. What she did was ilegal acording to my sister in law who is a lawer. If you and your husband took care of the child in your home full tim then she would have to pay you child support, and if she had the other you would have to pay child support. There is a statute of limitations she was talking about also;if you did not set up child support in the begining or if you veered away from the agreement (Ie if she was originaly in possesion of both children but decided to keep only one) she would be in default. This would be something to discuss with your lawer ASAP., because this is a bunch of bs. I don't know how she WOULD have been able to get child support with all of the things that she did. Your husband could have proven all of that stuff she did and got away with only pittence a month or nothing at all. Why and how did he get in this position in this day and age of enlightenment? It goes both ways.

My brother in law pays child support and because his ex is so greedy he has hardly any to live on afterwards. I think that its bull that they have to pay that much expecally when the person is engaged to another man to be married when she just had his child! Them type of women are just greedy for money so they don't have to work hardly.