Changing my religion
By bhbirdie6
@bhbirdie6 (1765)
United States
October 5, 2006 8:06pm CST
I grew up in a very conservative household that decried anything secular or "non-christian". My father is Eastern Orthodox which is a lot like Catholicism. I have hated this religion for as long as I can remember. I remember being humiliated at a very young age when my father forced me to go to confession and tell my priest everything I had done wrong. I am a Christian and so I believe confession of sins is essential. But I believe it's a matter between you and God. There should be no need for a middle man. I remember my father attempting to evangelize all non-orthodox. It didn't matter if they were Christian or not, if they were non-orthodox they were going to hell and it was his duty to save them. He gave me books on orthodoxy to give to my teachers and then would ask me again and again if I had given them. I was forbidden from attending any religious service other than an orthodox one. For those of you who don't know much about orthodoxy, it is a liturgical religion. You have the same service over and over and over again with variations for special holidays. You also stand throughout the entire service. While my friends were attending youth group and learning how they could incorporate God and their faith into their lives, I was saying the Lord's prayer for the millionth time. Orthodoxy also has very strict teachings on what women can and cannot do. My father has been quite clear on the fact that he regards women as spiritually inferior, despite the fact that he has several daughers. My father even went so far as to call my friends heretics. This history has caused me much anxiety and unhappiness and a great desire to leave the orthodox church. This does not mean that I'm giving up my faith all together. I will still be very much Christian. I am not at college and think now would be a good time for me to do this. How do I tell my father that I want nothing more to do with his oppressive religion without inciting his wrath and vindictiveness?
8 responses
@sedel1027 (17846)
• Cupertino, California
16 Oct 06
You need to speak to your father regarding your views. Explain to him that it is your choice what religion you want to belong to and he needs to understand that. As Christian, he should accept you changing your religion. Be strong and stand you ground. I am sure in your heart you know what the right decision is for you.
@sirensanssmile (3764)
• Netherlands
11 Jan 07
No disrespect, but I disagree. I do not believe that she needs to disucss anything with her father about her decision. The reason I feel this way is because from what she has said of her father in this post, he isn't quite reasonable. He feels his duty in life is to convert people to his religion. He really believes that it is THE religion and as she said.... "All others are going to hell."
He obviously believes this and so for her to try to reason with him otherwise would be futile. He isn't likely to "understand" her feelings. She is female and spiritually inferior so he will probably believe that the devil got her or tht she is incapable of making such a decision.
She is an adult now, as in USA the age is 18. She can make this choice without looking to her father for some sort of acceptance or permission because he isn't going to give her any. She can make this life choice herself.
I wouldn't suggest bringing it up to him, because there isn't a way to say it that he will not be upset. I speak from experience here as my parents were religious and I didn't follow their feelings of their faith. (It is a different faith) So I can tell you that by trying to disucss this he is never going to see it your way so why bother bringing about discomfort in your life and relationship with your father.
@dudesme (42)
• Philippines
16 Oct 06
Religion vs. Christianity
Religion limits your potential while Christianity brings you to your real identity.
Religion is hypocrisy which leads to bondage while Christianity is the truth when known personally brings freedom
Religion is set of dos and donts while Christianity talks about our relationship to God.
@ElicBxn (63594)
• United States
23 Feb 07
I converted to a form of Orthodoxy in my adult life, but not eastern/greek. I found the history for the orthodox religion stands up better than most and doesn't have someone in charge that thinks he can make "perfect" statements like the Pope. (The Pope doesn't think he's perfect, he thinks that when he issues a "Papel Bull" that is perfect.) I find the eastern rite a sure cure for insominia and left when the church I was going to switched to it.
Regarding your father - DON'T GO THERE. Don't tell him you are leaving the church, if he asks, tell him you are going to a different church. That sometimes you attend different churchs while trying to find one you like (and you probably have.) That way, with out lying, you can dodge the "well, which one are you going to?" question.
@violeta_va (4831)
• Australia
30 Aug 07
I am orthodox as well and this is all new to me. Just because your father is like that it does not mean that every othodox person is. we dont have to do confesion in fact I have never done it nor have my parents or their parents as far as I know. The service follows a patern but its not the same one over and over. It changes every service to reflect the saint day and we dont stand we have chairs and only get up at some prayers.
@leonarda (92)
• Bulgaria
2 Sep 07
What you describe sounds more like a sect than being Orthodox. I am not religious but the predominant religion in my country is Orthodox and I don't think many people do what your father does. What I read, sounds like you are living in the middle ages. Orthodox is not such a violent religion and the fact that somebody is trying to enforce it on you is simply disgusting. I have friends who are religious but none of them is such a Crusader. To me all you are subject to sounds simply a nightmare. Maybe you should oppose your father in his ghastly attempts to impose his conservative views on you.
