How do u know when or if he/she is in love with u

Try to get more information on him - things that cannot be made up but are public record and make sure there are no contradictions The sad reality is that it's just plain selfish. I mean everyone is tempted form time to time no doubt.... And although some of us fail, everyone should be allowed to make mistakes. But gathering from what you posted, you are asking about repetitive occurances, and those are derived from selfish tendencies. To hold on to someone unwanted (without their knowledge) is selfish because they're not being given the same opportunity to explore as the explorer has. Not sure what's with the explorer's fear of loosing the other because it's obvious that if one is cheating, one clearly doesn't want the other...not entirely anyway. There is obviously something that one is not aquiring from the present relationship why one would seek to explore their options. And insecurity about not finding it keeps them hanging on to the comfort zone they currently have, rather than moving on. But trust me, once they find that zone, the explorer does eventually make the move to move on...leaving the other alone. I have a friend that just found out for sure that their spouse has been unfaithful (and another friend that's currently in speculation mode). The genisis of these external relationships were suprisingly the same. The cheater and (speculatory cheator) couldn't "talk" to their spouses about what they were going through, so they had to find someone else to "talk" to. This is normally where it starts (as a friendship) I'm finding, because most people who truly love their significant others aren't that heartless. However, no matter how genuine, we are all still capable....no one is above it. The thing is, because relationships are not perfect, there will always be something. When it gets to the point that "that something" is bigger than the two of you, that's when the problems arise. Eveyone's on a quest to be happy, but the reality is that that there is good and bad in everyone. And sometimes we have to find contentment with "wanting what we have" instead of "having what we want." Because sometimes what we want may be only a shell of what we already have. The grass isn't always greener........,well have a nice mylot day.