Childhood friends, when is it time to cut them loose and how?
By madmax2crazy
@madmax2crazy (1569)
United States
January 22, 2007 4:57pm CST
I have a couple friends who seem to refuse to grow up, I've known them for 30plus years now and it was great when we was young and wild but now they still think its fun to party and live paycheck to paycheck always broke and drunk and always relying on ME to bail them out, literally sometimes. I wanna shake the hell out of them and scream WAKE UP!!! We're in our 30's and 40's, with teenage kids! Don't you think its time to grow the hell up and start thinking about the future???
I've tried distancing myself from them but they keep popping up, I don't wanna hurt them but like last weekend one called me needing money or he was going to go to jail. This woulda been the third time for me to contribute money to get him out of jail but I told him I was broke which he knows is a lie because he knows I been saving up for a new house.
Anywayz I hate to cut ties with him but if he refuses to grow up and get responsible I don't know what else I can do because I dang sure don't wanna go back to hurting for money because I spent all mine on him and let him drag me back down to barely making it paycheck to paycheck.
Anyone else here got irresponsible friends like that, if so how do you deal with them?
3 people like this
3 responses
@vhansen (2029)
• United States
23 Jan 07
Eventually wheither it's friends or family you have to say 'enough is enough'.If you let them they will bleed you dry.Don't lend money unless it's a REAL emergency.People need to learn to be responsable for thier actions whatever they may be.Don't wanna go to jail? Don't break the law.Very simple.If I can learn that anybody can.;-)
@madmax2crazy (1569)
• United States
24 Jan 07
thanks for the response but I'd like to know what others in my situation would do, I KNOW YOU don't have any deadbeat friend my sugarbaby lol ;p
C'mon surely at least a couple of people here got leeching friends like me lol reply please!
1 person likes this
@gardengurl (61)
• United States
22 Jan 07
My husband has friends like that. He has been friends with them since he was in high school. They still smoke pot and party and drink, but now that my husband is married and we have to boys, he doesn't do that stuff anymore. It did help that when we got married, he moved away from them and we live about 2 hours away from them now. He only sees them once is a while during duck hunting season, but that doesn't bother me because I totally trust him!
2 people like this
@madmax2crazy (1569)
• United States
22 Jan 07
same here I got married and moved a hour away but what if every time they get together for hunting they bum a couple hundred dollars off your husband? would you notice? would you make him cut ties with those friends if you found out that was happening? would he wanna cut ties with them if they became a financial burden? see I gave up the pot, the partying, and the drinking too but they still do it and are always broke because of it, and they're always wanting me the "responsible one" to bail them out.
1 person likes this
@Lydia1901 (16351)
• United States
26 Jan 07
Poor you, Madmax. I think the best thing to do is just keep on doing what you are doing now. Keep your distance and eventuallly he will get the message and leave you alone. You do not need a person like him at all. Just ignore him.
1 person likes this
@madmax2crazy (1569)
• United States
30 Jan 07
thank you for your support Lydia, I'll keep trying but its hard when he keeps calling, fortunately I've kept a busy social schedule and missed most his calls but eventually he'll catch me at home again and then I may just have to lay it out for him and make him understand he need to make his own way in life and not rely on me all the time.
