Why nice guys finish last, and bad boys get the girls
By hassanchop
@hassanchop (820)
United States
January 23, 2007 3:38am CST
Yes, I know all of you self-styled "nice guys" out there wanna know this... someone posted this out of a book excerpt, and I happened to agree enough that I felt it was worth reposting. Due to the length of it though, I will give the external link. Here it is. Read and comment.
http://www.christianforums.com/showpost.php?p=30998248&postcount=1
2 people like this
10 responses
@ChewySpree (1832)
• United States
23 Jan 07
I disagree. I think in the long run, nice guys do finish first. I'm 37 now, and sure, in my younger days, I enjoyed guys who were more daring and exciting, but now that I'm settled down and starting a family, I'm with the sweetest, nicest, most caring man I have ever met. I wouldn't trade him for James Dean himself.
3 people like this
@hassanchop (820)
• United States
23 Jan 07
That is EXACTLY why we should not be "nice guys". Because we want younger women who have not "enjoyed guys who are more daring and exciting". A guy can certainly be a genuine nice and still be himself, and that's not what this article is trying to dissuade. It's trying to dissuade being a wuss who caters to everything his woman nags him into.
1 person likes this
@patootie (3592)
•
23 Jan 07
But, I like the 'nice guys' and have always gone for them in preference to the 'bad guys' .. so how does that work ??
From experience though I do know many girls who do fall for the 'bad guy' type man .. they start dating and he's Mr Wonderful .. time passes and the guy can seemingly do no wrong .. then we quickly get to the bit where the girls starts hassling the guy to get engaged ... he wants a quiet life so he agrees ..
Now we come to the part that's always baffled me .. the girl suddenly starts slagging off Mr Wonderful .. he has some 'obnoxious habits' .. he doesn't buy enough gifts .. so the girl starts a campaign to change the 'bag guy' into a 'nice guy' ... by now the poor chap is totally confused .. whatever he says is wrong .. whatever he does he's at fault .. men being men they like a quiet life .. so the 'bad guy' tries to be what his fiancee wants him to be ..
Eventually they get married .. the 'bad guy' is now a thrououghly retrained 'nice guy' ... he's changed himself to be just what his girl wants him to be .. but guess what .. the girl still isn't satisfied .. she now yearns for him to be the 'bad guy' again ... her Mr Wonderful has become boring !!
And I see that happen over and over .. girl meets boy .. likes what she sees .. girl starts to change boy .. girl and boy get married .. girl completes changing the boy .. only to find she preferred what she had to start with and no longer wants what she has ...
And if you are confused .. so am I .. and I am a female .. but I simply don't understand other women hahahah!!
1 person likes this
@hassanchop (820)
• United States
23 Jan 07
No, I'm not one bit confused. I know EXACTLY what you mean. And the simple answer is: the guy has to be himself, and to be the guy that got him the girl in the first place. He needs to stand up for himself and be himself. And if he fails to do this, it's nobody's fault but his own.
@kgwat70 (13387)
• United States
24 Jan 07
Thank you for sharing that link as it is very good information and does make some sense. Several of my lady friends have or dated boyfriends who fit the bad boy personality and their relationships are on very rocky ground or have left them. Some will go out with another guy who is a bad boy type as well. It does seem logical from reading that article but it is sad for the nice guys who are not given a chance.
@visitorinvasion (7709)
• United States
24 Jan 07
Wow, that was deep...and more real than I expected it to be.
I can testify that it's true. I married the badboy/niceguy, lol. Big man that doesn't take any crap, but treats me like a golden queen...but he did say those 3 words first and I was too afraid to say them back right away, considering that seems to be where I had gone wrong in the past (saying I love you = please treat me like dirt). I waited till after we made love the first time...corny, but true.
The article hit the nail on the head personality/attraction wise.
No arguments about this topic from me.
Great find, thanks for sharing.
1 person likes this
@sbeauty (5865)
• United States
23 Jan 07
I know I'm an old lady now, but I was young once, and even back then when nice was more in fashion, I was more fascinated by the "bad boys". I still am. For instance, on the show "Friday Night Lights" I'm much more intrigued by "bad boy" Tim than I am by the "nice guys" Jason and Matt. I don't like nasty, dirty, or vulgar, but I like guys who have a little spice and excitement in them.
1 person likes this
@Lydia1901 (16351)
• United States
28 Jan 07
Well, I do agree with that. I went out with this really nice guy, but I just couldn't take it that he was too nice. I always go for the bad boys and the relationship doesn't last long either. Now I'm married in between guy and it is working out for me just fine.
