When you can forgive but you cant forget?

When someone we love hurts us it changes who we are, so much so one can compare it to a perfect precious china cup, it gets dropped and broken, we are then able to glue it and mend it, but it is never so perfect again. We are all capable of forgiveness and this is our duty, we owe it to ourselves and our loved ones, but I believe that if we totally forget we leave ourselves open and vunerable. We have a responsiblity to take care first of ourselves, then those that we love. Forgiveness does not mean being stupid.

I have a situation like this myself. I don't have the ability to gush over people that I don't like. I am polite, cordial and respectful but I do not pretend. I think it would be dishonest to act any other way. I don't let it bother me anymore... accept and move along, is how I feel. There are other people I can spend time with, especially at a family gathering, so that's what I do. Gravitate towards the people that make you feel good inside :)

They will have to accept it and until they attempt to make restitution I don't give a sheet what they do or think.

Let it go. Unless you forgive them, it will interfere with the flow of goodness into your life. You gain nothing by holding on to these ill feelings. The injustice is in the past and it is time to forget it and move forward. It is not the person being around you, it is your attitude toward that person. Why hang on to feelings that make you feel bad or upset or angry?

Its an unavoidable situation one has to face in life. It would be very difficult for us to be with those who had been unjustice to us even though we have forgiven them. But no way LIFE has to move in its own way and we need to adjust accordingly. We definitely feel that we feel to be odd with them but when they have been forgiven then no way we need to continue our relationship with them forgetting all that they have done to us.

i think when some one u turst on him makes big mistake to you that will be makes you not forgot i mean when close friends makes problems to you

"Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me". You are the owner of your life and you let these people take advantage of you. I used to let my family control me, but then I woke up and decided that I wanted to be myself and do my own thing. See, I come from a generation that wants to be depressed and put the blame on everyone for their issues, when in fact, we only have ourselves to blame for letting it all happen. Sure, many of us have crappy past, but to blame everything and everything is ridiculous, we have to take the some of the blame and we have to change it for ourselves.

To forgive and forget is, unfortunately, very difficult. If I were you, keep your distance from those who have hurt you. It'll be a win-win!

I can forgive people who have wronged me I won't show any grudge to them even when I meet them face to face or I have to interact and do work with them, to forget what they have done is not easy, it remains in my mind but it does not interfere with my interaction with them, I feel hurt at times, but then don't bring those thoughts in mind again and again

Heh. I kind of have this problem right now, but it's not with someone in my family. It's with someone that i may have to spend a lot of time around this summer, though. It's kind of a complicated situation. Plus, I am not sure if I have completely forgiven this person. it's really hard for me to forgive completely, because when someone hurts me it cuts me really deep. People are very important to me, so when someone breaks my trust I never really completely forget it, even if I forgive them. I guess though that you just have to do your best to act as normal around the person as you can.

Unfortunatly that is human nature. We say we forgive but do we really?? The image in our brain will always be there. I have a problem with something like that as well and the family member is allowed in my home but has no keys and I will never trust them again... I am not sure that I forgave I just "get along" for the sake of other family members...

I had that happen with my husband 's brother , they were working together at the time and our son was only 6 months old and was sick at the time it happened he got fire because he would not rent a house for them to use on a job site , its a long story so to make it short , I told him 20 years ago I would not step into there house again and his not welcome in mine , and thats the way its been since then I don't forget , and its lets me live a happier life not see him.

just recently, my boyfriend and i had a fight. he said something that hurted me. he doesn't know that in some way he insulted me and my family. now, he comes to our house acting like as if nothing had happened. i don't know if i could forgive him since havn't said sorry yet.

This topic is a good one as it is of concern to many. According to me it would be in our own benefit to forgive and forget. Our mind is not a machine it has its own limitations. One of these limitations is that it breaks down when you hold grudges and tensions for long. It is the same as holding an empty glass of water for an hour that would result in severe muscular demage, even though the glass was empty. Simillarily, keeping thoughts for long can strain your brain muscle. Keep away from thinking about the bad that had ever happened and live like a king.This is, what life teaches you. Some have learnt it and some would learn it soon. Cheers !! {:-))

Yes you maybe right saying that you can forgive but its difficult to forget.It is always the trust issue that you'll be dealing next.I think with this situation where you feel uncomfortable being around them then thats understandable, anyway they're the one who made a mistake and they're the guilty part, your conscience is clear and just do your own thing, be with somebody whom you feel comfy with and thats going to help you feel ok.

It's noraml to feel deeply hurt. Don't forced yourself in bringing back the old timed if you can't. Let the time heal all wounds first.

whatever has been done to you is part of you. It either makes you stronger, more compassionate,bitter or sad. you cannot and should not forget anything in your life. to forgive that person because you are a christian person is the right thing to do. But no where does it say you have to like that person. things will never be the same and don't try to pretend something didn't happen. just try not to dwell on it.

You can write everthing down and how you feel about it all. this does help you realize your feelings and whats really bothing you. maybe even write the person who hurt you but explain kindly and lovingly. then pray for forgiveness lulu

Easiest way to resolve this issue and get past it. No one is perfect , of course, but imagine the shoe being on the other foot. You did the injustice and want the other to forgive you for it. Hard one, but I'm sure the other party at this time is feeling the same stress being around you. Family is important to get past situations like this. Like my mom always said "Friends come and go, but family is forever" Talk to the person that did this, and know it CAN be forgiven and forgotten. Life is to short to gold grudges, especially with family.

do u forgiv easily...?ya u right ,but to live in this world u need some thing call addaptation..until and unless u/ any does that they cant servive longer any how as u say it depend on each persons charachter