Digging your partner's past

if you love someone..you dont need to know everything behind him or here cause you love the person as what you ahve known him or her... i think its up to them if they are comfortable with it and if not then its not necessary. sometimes we have to burned the bridges behind to make the presnet successful.

Not really. There is a certain amount of privacy one deserves. However, if it is something important, it should be shared, so if it ever came up, it wouldn't cause a problem. Try to be as honest as possible.

Hi,its not good to dig past of our partner,it shows our suspecting nature.Once you both become partners,its all over with past.If you star like this your life become miserable.

The past is just that "the past" and nobody has the right to pry into it or force their partner/spouse to tell them everything that happened. The only conditions under which this can happen is if the other person volunteers any information but that is not forcing them or digging into their past. If the other person does tell you about things from their past, then you have no right to criticise or sit in judgement, as you were not there at the time and do not really know what happened. I do not believe in "tell all" that happened prior to being involved, except of course if you caught some communicable disease, then the other person has a right to know that. My husband and I have been married for 36 years now and although we do know some things what happened before we met has nothing to do with our relationship from the day we met right through to now. I have met some of his ex-girlfriends, as he has met some of my ex-boyfriends, but that just happened by accident. When this happened neither of us questioned the other about the relationship they had with the now "ex".

It is important on some situations but to know everything about a person's past is not really appropriate. Besides, if you do find out everything about your partner's past, you might just end up getting hurt and you don't want that to happen to you. Give your partner some breathing space. There are some things that should remain hidden and unknown after all. Try to understand why. Respect one's decisions. I'm sure your relationship will not be different if you leave some things like that. ^^ Respect begets respect. Be more understanding. Don't let envy and jealousy ruin a beautiful relationship. The past is the past. Nothing can change that. All you can do now is accept it.

I think that it helps especially if your just meeting each other you want to know what you are getting yourself into. My Husband and I have always talked about each others past relationships, even when we were dating. I think it is interesting, to here the type of woman he has dated, to see what changes he has made since that past relationship. No secrets is our Motto

My husband told me evwerything before we even started dating seriously. He loved a girl and wanted to marry her but in holidays she went home and got married without telling him to someone else. That was his first serious love affaire. He had kept her photo and letters for a long time. Still the diary he had maintained is there somewhere but he has hardly looked for it in all these years. she had the guts to come back to him for help when her husband got in to the trouble over something with police. My hubby felt so used by that girl, she took his emotions away with her. Now I have observed he tries to keep a distnce from getting to involved emotionally with nyone. I think his motto is that he is not going to let anyone touch his heart too deeply. SHe did change him a lot and I know and accept that fact in my life.

The only ppl who can really answer that is the ones involved....My husband knows pretty much everything (almost) about my past..the good the bad and the downright ugly because I NEEDED him to know so he would have a better understanding of where I'm coming from and why I do certain things the way I do etc....I on the other hand only know bits and pcs of his and thats fine with me...if he wants to share, cool..if not thats cool too...

I guess it's not necessary but if it he insists to talk about it, then why not. I can be a good listener too, but if the past will destroy his good image in me, then maybe it's better if we will not talk about it. Atleast there are some mysteries in the relationship.

Not really unless he/she opens up first.. If he/she doesn't want to tell you about his/her past just be quiet..

Yes One Should Know About Theirs Partners Past.. I'l Expect Him To Tell Me About His Past Relationship.. If He Dint Tell Me Then Will Ask Him.. If He Dont Want To Speak About All That Again Will Just Leave It Wont Ask Him Anymore.. Why Should I Worry A Lot About His Past When He's True To Me.. When He Truly Loves Me :) Past Is Past.. Live Peacefully In The Present :)

Yes! It's absolutely okay to knowyour partner's previous relationship. There is nothing wrong in it actually. It brings a feeling of closeness and a deeper insight into your partner's previuos relationship's problems. You can know more about your partner by knowing about his previuos relationships. Ther is no need to hide anything. Cheers Nithya

I would rather not know everything that happened before me. I think it's nice to have a bit of mystery about us in our relationships, it keeps the relationship interesting.

Let them open up to you if they feel like it. Just digging deeper will cause a lot of complications. It's ok if you find what her past was but what's important is what do plan to do about it? I have an acquaintance who before courting his girlfriend, really dug up a lot of information about her. I asked why? He said so that he would know everything about her and wouldn't lead to complications. But having him say that I know those are the behavioral patterns of a person who is either obsessed, a stalker or is a fanatic. In the end he got the girl but it seems that his thorough research didn't mean a thing. Everyday they keep on fighting. He keeps on apologizing and saying it's his fault. Even his family doesn't approve of the girl. Funny thing was a few years back he was the one lecturing me about how to court girls. Heck, if I'll end up with his kind or relationship why would I even bother listening to him?!

I never asked about my partners' past. What happened before is not important to me. I only look forward to our good times together going forward.

well some need to know about the past of your partners and its normal to know them...and i like to know for sure...how it was...

no necessary. i respect the privacy she had and i want to focus on what we are now.

I think its just ok to know everything about my partners past relationship because its the best way to know the person. Like in my situation, i do ask my boyfriend about his past realtionship and he does to with me. At first, it was kinda irritating for both of us but we get used to it. I learned a lot from his past relationship regarding problems and attitude he dont want in a girl. In that way, there are no secrets already that should be argued about. At the present, we are more comfortable about talking about both our past.

No, i dont think it's necessary to know everything about the past relationship of your partner. I would respect it if he doesnt want to share about those things because it's part of the privacy and memories that a person holds. But i guess it also depends, if there are some things about his past relationships that would have an effect on ours, i would want to know about it.

The only information you should know about your partners past relationships are what they are comfortable telling you. We are still our individual self, even when we are in a relationship. We need privacy, atleast some.