I hate my life

hi, Since I am not a licensed counselor I can't really give you advice. All I can say is that I'm sorry you are in that position. Just know that you are wonderful person and this is not your fault and you shouldn't take the insults personally. People who insult others are not confident with themselves. I know there are lots of charities and free services to go and get help. Even though you are disabled I'm sure there is work you can do. Have you tried Goodwill or Salvation Army. They may be able to help. Good luck. If you ever just need to talk, I'm here. Send me a message. It helps just having someone to talk to.

Oh dear, I hope something can be worked out, everyone deserves to be happy, life is so short and as we know we only have one shot at it, why are people so cruel.....thinking of you....

I am sure you are aware that no one can help you but you. You are in a desperate situation and I really feel for you. Do you not have anyone who will take you in besides a shelter? If it were me, I think I would go live with someone in a different province or state... somewhere far away. I know you don't have the money or the means to do that though but if you had someone who could help you.... You say you have a lawyer. Can the lawyer not find a way out for you? Can your husband not be charged with abuse? Sic the cops on him. I was in an abusive relationship in my first marriage. I hung in there even when I shouldn't have... and there were no kids involved, and I had my own job, my own money, my own car. I just believed that marriage was for life and things would work out eventually. The last time he beat me up, HE was the one who hightailed it out of town never to be seen again. Thank God! I probably would have stayed in that marriage forever. I have read some of your other posts and you do not sound like you are in a good situation and I really wish you would find some help to get out. I don't believe they can take your son away from you when your husband is being abusive. You are protecting your son by taking the both of you away from him. Please seek help. Is there a help hotline you could call that would do more than just talk to you? Good luck. I'm praying for you.

if i was in your position... the first thing i would have done is slapped my spouse.... and got the hell out pf that place before he feels like doing the same to me! lady, nothing is worth all this trouble... not even your son! if he loves you, he will understand! i suggest you to confide in someone who is close to you... your hubby doesnt seem to stop you from using the net right? then i suggest you get online and try to trace out your pals who had left you... try to tell them... they would understand... try to get someone who can act as a witness to your daily hell!! someone who can vouch for you when u file a case.... and try to work hard on mylot and get some money... ok that was a joke! but try to get some money somehow or the other... dont worry... there is a solution to every problem!

get rid of him as fast as you can, there are plenty abuse sights on the internet

It sounds like you need to leave. This is not a good envirnment for you or your son. At the very least he is mentally abusing you, calling you fat etc.. and NO ONE deserves that. You can do to a shelter and take your son with you. They are very secretive and he wouldnt be able to find you there. They will help you in so many ways. For not only you, but your son too, you really need to get out of this situation. Yes, it will not get any better. He feels he has control over you and that wont change. Please do look into your local shelters, they really will protect you. I wish you the best :)

What the Hell is wrong with you women, you make yourselves victims. Get away from the guy, it is not that hard to do, you make it hard by being and acting weak. Quit being so damn weak, take responsibility for your mistakes, and be a damn woman about it. Grow up, quit complaining about the problems that you have created, and get the courage to stand up for yourself. You are being so weak. You make us women all look bad by acting the way you do.

I lived this way for 8 years while married. I'm also disabled with children. There is ALWAYS a safe place for you to go. Don't let them threaten you with taking away your child. It's time to stand up for yourself. You're now at the beginning. You see the problem, and that's a good thing. If you don't have a local shelter, call outside of your town. If that doesn't work, go to any church and if you're turned down for money or help, go to the next one, and the next one. Eventually, you'll get out of there like I did. Best of luck, sweetie!

Your counsellors weren't much help were they? "He's abusive, he'll never change". Is that it? No solution? So, they'll leave you like that? If you have a local women's group then go there and ask them for help quickly. I'm sorry if this advice doesn't sound very good. It's the only thing I can think of and I know the women's groups here in Ireland are very good and supportive so I'm sure there are groups like that where you are.

Their are disability advocacy centers called independent living centers. I'm an advocate for disabled people. I can you if you email me maybe. There are some shelters that are accessible to disabled people. Please email.

Come on, it's not the end of the world! The sun rises tomorrow! I think it is your problem, it is your spouse's problem.

If I were in your place, i would leave right away if i hav the chance... I can't stay in a situation like that even if my patience is really strong... I wish that one day you'll be able to decide with what to do with your life. Is he hurting you physically? I hope not. I want you to spend your life in the best and happiest way ever. Just be strong and trust God that He will help you through this. Why is it that he's not giving you money/ why is he getting your money? Doesn't he likes you to earn money for your son somehow? For his education and other needs? I'm wondering what's wrong with your spouse. If love is not the issue here, let go. He should let you go too. Only hold on if the love between you and him is still strong. If the love is just like how you two first fall in love with each other, the love that is so pure and true, try to work things out. Talk to him about your feelings. Your son may not speak anything about the case, but deep inside, your son is deeply affected. Let's hope that he won't suffer from this. I wish you luck and happiness.. Take care of yourself.

poor you! it is a very sad story. i wish i could tell you what to do. i would have said go into a shelter,but you already said that it cannot be done. a husband that is abusive ,i know mine only would get out with help from the police. and such people would never change,never! try very hard to get your own money,and then divorce him i know you could do it! do it for yourself and your child. please

I think that you need to sit down and take a long look at your situation. I can't tell you what to do because I was in a super bad relationship on more than one occasion and I wouldn't listen to anyone. I just realize that there is a child involved in your relationship - which there was not in mine- and you need to think about the effects that this is ultimately going to have on him (the child). I will not tell you what to do because you sound like you already know. I suggest that you plan it out very carefully though and document everything so that you have proof in court later. Any witnesses to this abuse could be helpful in court also, so document their names and times that they were there too. But do document if you are afraid of losing your child! Best of luck!

Well, I am so sorry to hear that. I hope everything will work out for you pretty soon. I really am sorry. Just be good to yourself and try your best in that.

im so sad with what you have told us here in my lot...you really got a big problem...you have to ask some help to anybody...how about your friends???you said they dumped you coz of the husband...maybe coz you let your husband abuse you and they hate it ..that they leave you instead...why not contact them again and ask for help...or anybody in the government...

I hate your life. I had your life. Literally I had your life. I got married at 19 to a man who i met in college he was 29 at the time and about to turn 30. I had a low self esteem and afraid to be out on my own and I lived the exact life you are living. His father was an architect his mother a registered nurse. Together they made a very good living his dad was a very successful architect. My husband did everything yours is doing to you and more. When I met him I weighed about 125 he started in on my weight then. By the time I left I weighed 90 and to him I was still fat. I am 5'4. He will not change. He will get worse. My ex-husband is currently in prison and is not eligible for parole until March of 2009 because of what he did to me and my son. It took that it took me hitting rock bottom to get out. I ended up in a shelter for battered women with my 8-month-old son. This is all in your husbands plan. He has got to make you feel as powerless as he can. You don't have a car, he won't let you go anywhere, you can't have any money, he puts you down so you feel you have no self worth, he and his family make you beleive you can't live without him. It is crap. All of it is crap. I do not know what your disability is but it does not matter get out of there now. Yes you can go to the shelter. You need to get some personal belongings get your kids call the police call the domestic hotline in your area something and go. Forget your stuff you don't need it. You will be provided with clothing, food, shelter, hygine items, legal aid, emotional counseling you need it ( no that is not an insult 6 years ago I needed it badly just as much as you do) You need to go there think logically do not get emotional get all the help you can get. State of Texas gave me a 1k grant to help get me on my feet. you can get food stamps medical aid there are so many things available to you. I did not know this. I was in the same position as you. I would end up in the hospital the hospital staff would urge me to go to the shelter. I would think in my mind do I go to this place that won't change I have no car I have no money I have nothing. I did not realize the thing that are out there. Are you a good mother? My guess is yes or you wouldn't be concerned with getting your kids taken away. There are many many men like your husband too many of them. They all belong behind bars. Go to legal aid the shelter will help you get an appointment you will get an attorney. the legal system has met men like your husband before. Do not let this man intimidate you. I do not think your kids will be taken from you You are the mother he is a butthead. You are the typical abused woman. get out go to the shelter, get the divorce, get on your feet, there are other things out there to help people who do not have their disability money coming in yet. You are not destitute this man wants you to think you are. And then after you have gotten on your feet and you have realized you were such a fool for ever letting this man treat you this way and will never let anyone abuse you again go get a real man and a real relationship. You don't deserve this no one deserves this. I am remarried and my husband is a 180 of my ex. We met on yahoo personals. I have gained weight and he still says I am beautiful. He never would make a comment about me like my ex did. He use to be a navy seal but now has hyperthyroidism and weighs about 300 pounds I still think he is as handsome as ever. we do not control each other we love each other. When you have a good relationship you genuinely care for the other person their wellbeing their wants needs etc. We support each other. He is in the process of adopting the son I had with my ex. He is the only father he has ever known. You don't need this. You need a good man and a good relationship. Yes you do deserve one. My biggest thing was I didn't beleive I could get or deserved anyone good to me. I really felt like anyone who was with me was doing me a favor. I was wrong you are wrong. I don't mean any of this to be mean I mean to tell you you deserve better. You can get it. Stop letting this man intimidate you. I don't know how old you are. All I know is unless there is a major breakthrough in medical science you are not going to live forever. This is it this is your life. Is this how you want to spend it? Is this what you want your kids growing up seeing? Chances are it will rub off on them in some negative way. Get out get what you deserve. I know what you mean by all your friends left mine did to. I've been there. I've experienced everything you described my husband use to make me do things to get money to eat while I was the only one with a job after we married he refused to work. He would pick me up from work take me to the bank make me endorse it and unless I did what he wanted for money i never saw it again and that was only a couple dollars here and there for a coke or something at lunch. Get out please you don't deserve this. IF you want a friend you've got a friend. Add me to your friend list. My name is Sha (pronounced Shay).

why you are not giving proper atteintion in youe life , u have to love ur life .

sometimes i hate my life too, but i always see the positive in every negative that happened in my life.

That is horrible. Sorry to hear that. You are not in control of anything here. He is. Do you have family or at least one good friend? Maybe you can stay with them. If you talk to your friends that left because of him, maybe they will help you. You definetly need to get out. He is teaching your child all of this too. He will do it when he grows up. I think you need to get evidence of all of this too to show in court for the divorce. Video camera is best. Sorry I don't have any other ideas. Good luck.