Do you make your kids send Thank You notes for everything?
By reinydawn
@reinydawn (11643)
United States
January 25, 2007 11:23am CST
My husbands children are expected to do this for EVERY occassion - birthdays, graduation, anything. They're teenagers and are supposed to do it themselves. Their mother has punished them for not sending Thank You notes. Well, I don't think it's necessary to send a Thank You card to your own father when you thanked him when he gave you the gift. When the people are present at the celebration, do you really need to send them a Thank You note? I have only urged my kids to do so when they receive something in the mail, that way the person knows that you got it and appreciate it. I just don't see the sense in doing it after just seeing them.
3 people like this
11 responses
@MakDomMom (1474)
• United States
27 Jan 07
I make my kids send thank you notes for their birthday gifts. Even if they thanked the person at their party - they will send them a card. It's the courtious thing to do. It teaches the child the proper way to do things. It teaches them thankfulness anf thoughtfulness.
@reinydawn (11643)
• United States
27 Jan 07
Neat, I just didn't know that people did this for all occassions. I never did as a child and didn't teach my children to either. Except for things they got through the mail, or occassions like graduation and showers.
1 person likes this
@zoya19 (28)
• Canada
27 Jan 07
I personally send thank you cards for everything received in the mail. My son who is 14.5 months old is not old enough yet to send them but I have been sending them for him. I normally try to include a picture of him wearing the outfit, playing with the toy, etc. I also send them for baby showers and bridal showers. If the person is at the party, on Christmas with us, etc. I don't send thank you's, I just say thank you. For my son's first birthday party we didn't send thank you's but a friend of ours did for her sons. I think it is nice to send them but I don't think it is always necessary. I think it all depends on the situation.
2 people like this
@reinydawn (11643)
• United States
27 Jan 07
I used to send pictures of the kids with the toy or wearing the outfit also. I thought the people would appreciate seeing it if they were not local.
1 person likes this
@missyd79 (3438)
• United States
26 Jan 07
i don't send out thank you cards unless like you said it was sent in the mail. i also sent out thank you cards for bridal shower presents and baby shower presents, but that was because it was a party and not sure if people heard me say thank you to them.
2 people like this
@reinydawn (11643)
• United States
26 Jan 07
For graduation, I made sure my son either sent a note or called them. And I did for my wedding. But for birthdays? That's kinda over the top for me.
1 person likes this
@sunshinecup (7871)
•
25 Jan 07
I don't do the note thing either. My girls can tell the gift giver thank you right then, or if sent from a far, they can call them. I don't like the whole note thing, it's a bit to formal really.
@reinydawn (11643)
• United States
26 Jan 07
At first I thought it was really odd, then I realized that they are pretty big on this. I'm much more casual so I guess I just don't get it.
1 person likes this
@XxAngelxX (2830)
• Canada
25 Jan 07
I'm like you, if my children receive something in the mail, then I get them to send either a thank you note or I will have them phone the person to say thanks. As you stated, it lets the other person know the gift has arrived. However I don't expect a thank you note when I give gifts so I feel no need to make my children do it either so long as they say their thanks when they receive the gift.
2 people like this
@reinydawn (11643)
• United States
26 Jan 07
I'm glad it's not just me that thinks this way, I just had not realized people were still doing this for "regular" gifts.
1 person likes this
@reinydawn (11643)
• United States
26 Jan 07
Do you send the notes to people who you saw, or just the ones that came though the mail?
1 person likes this
@annettenasser (2992)
• Kuwait
10 Nov 07
Well i believe that saying thank you must be from the heart and not from the demand. it should be done right. if we can say it personally with especial way then its great but punishing whenever we missed sending thanking you card? i think that is weird.
@reinydawn (11643)
• United States
11 Nov 07
Hey, thanks for taking the time to go through some old discussions...
I know exactly how you feel - thanks should be heart-felt. And given in person when it applies.
Take care!!
@beautyoperater (1890)
• United States
26 Jan 07
I only make my girls do it if they recieve it in the mail. It wouldn't make sense to send one when you have already told them thank-you once.
@bethack52 (407)
• United States
12 Feb 07
its nice to do, but this is a bit extreme, to send them to there father thats funny, my father would ask me was i crazy, anyway if they are being made to do this it kind of defeats the purpose!
1 person likes this
@reinydawn (11643)
• United States
12 Feb 07
Yeah, forcing them to thank someone is not how I would do it either...
@catherIN (430)
• United States
27 Jan 07
No, we don't. There were probably a few times that it would have been the proper thing to do.My kids do always say thank you for everything,though!
My step-mother is big on thank you cards. She was real upset when one of my grown daughters didn't send out thank you's after a Baby Shower.She did make sure to thank everyone face to face. But, my step-mother was very disappointed and didn't think this was enough.
@reinydawn (11643)
• United States
28 Jan 07
I think the face to face is important and I have been to some showers also where I have not gotten a thank you note. I do think they are becoming a thing of the past though.
@joey_matthews (8354)
•
12 Feb 07
Make is such a strong word. Like hate =)
I wouldn't make my son do anything. I'll teach him to show respecy by saying thank you and if he chooses to say then i'll reward him if not i won't have a fit. Most kids these days don't feel like saying it all the time and most adults dont anyway.
Those with repesct say thank you, please etc. It's dying mark in this world and i always say thank you etc to those who appreciate it.
Kudos!
~Joey
@reinydawn (11643)
• United States
12 Feb 07
My kids have always thanked people in person when the could, or called them if they weren't local. For major things like graduation, they would have sent notes. My step-kids have to send them for anyhthing though, even if they see them in person to thank them.
