What can be forgiven?

I was once attached to someone who used to hurt me not only emotionally but physically as well. During those emotionally charged times ( I call them that now because it would have passed for a drama series. lol.) when he used to beat me up, I would get mad (who wouldn't) but I would always forgive him for his shortcomings in the hope that he would one day change. That was in '99. I gave him four years to change. I forgave all that time. Never told my parents. My close friends knew and they were angry at me but because I was their friend, they just helped me rough it out... I woke up one day and said, "I've had enough." So there... I guess that was one of the dumbest things that I did. At least I learned from it. It's now on my "unforgivable" list and I know that I will never let someone do that to me again. Mistakes are normal... and I am a very forgiving person... I will forgive everything... except that.

Ok well my situation is a little different I was the cheater. It happened long ago when my husband and I were still dating. I was seeing him and my ex walked back into my life well with the ex he was just a bedroom buddy. Well my husband found out he actually read my journal and found out. We broke up for a while a shortly after got back together. Its been 7 years and we are now married and have 2 kikds with another on the way. He still hasnt gotten over it. This is something that he still throws in my face from time to time. Trust is still an issue and it sounds horrible to say because I know its my fault but I wish he would jsut get over it, it was a long time ago before the kids before we were married and if its still affecting your life that much then just leave me for petes sake!!

Good for you! You took your vows seriously. I'm sure it was hard. Your husband must have had some great qualities about him that kept you from leaving. My daughter is going through a hard time right now with her husband and 2 children with another one on the way. I try to support her but it is so hard to see her unhappy. She thinks it is something about her that causes him to do the things he does. He has cheated on her,leaves her and the kids to do things for others when more attention is needed at home,he even left her in labor at the hospital to go play a baseball game. It infuriated me but she loves him and can't get past that. They have been married for 4 years now and I pray things will get better for her soon. I feel bad sometimes cause I wish she would meet someone who would love her the way she deserves to be loved and treat her with respect. Best of luck to you.

Same as you - infidelity, but I walked in on them! That girl took off real fast without me saying a word. I didnt talk to him either, just walked out of the building. He came home 2 hours later with flowers and on his knees. I took the flowers and threw them out the door onto the front lawn to the surprize of my neighbor gardening across the street and a passing pedestrian. I went to bed and he wisely slept on the livingroom sofa the next few nights - everyday bringin me flowers and I threw them out on the lawn again (the neighborhood children would wait, divide the flowers between them and run home). Even the cats wouldnt come near him, but clung to me. Apparently he told a friend at work who called his wife and she arrived at my apt unannounced and told me to leave the b@stard. I said no, we'll work it out. SThe next day the kids were disappointed - I finally kept the flowers.

I think,forgave that indeed was difficult but we must forgive each other as humankind because we had not been free from the mistake.No body perfect.

true love only comes after the one you love hurts you and you still love them back. its saying im still here for you even if you would abandon me.

Well, cheating is the only that could kill my relation! I've been cheated once and ended the relationship! Once you've been cheated you lost the trust on that person and for me cause it's my opinion it's hard to get that trust back again. I don't kids or i'm not married yet that's what makes things less complicated! With kids maybe i had a diferent opinion! I'm happy for you! You overcome your insecurity and it's goood for you and for your family!

Nothing yet, so far.

well, mine is a similar case i have forgiven my wife nearly 7 to 8 times and this time i fell she has changed complpetely... i think they should be given a chance to prove themselves.

Being with somebody who cheats u is really makes u stupid.. There is nothing wrong to be damn but u should give urself a time to realize that he is not worth for the trust. If he loves you he won't do things that hurt u. Girls easily forgave

ya can do that cause i have such power and seen alot so i can forgive and mainly it depends on the situation

I have a hard time with cheaters, In my last relationship I was with the man for over 5 years, had plans on getting married, had a baby together, had plans for our life.....until I found "the box!" It was a box of letters from his WIFE!! and 2 KIDS!! He had been sending her money, going to see her, and living a double life. I had no idea. I could not find it in my heart to forgive. And it was hard to find it in my heart to love again, but I did. So I have a hard time with the whole cheating thing. I think that if you can deal, then do it! Your love will grow and get stronger. And as long as you are happy then that is what matters. Who cares what people think! As long as you are happy!!

I forgave and forgave...the more things I forgave the more things he did to hurt me, or the next time he did something he did it a little "better" so that I could bleed a little more. Forgiveness to mine was like giving him a permission slip to use me as a doormat. The more he thought he could get away with, the more he did and the worse he treated me. There are alot of things I'm capable of forgiving... the cheating was one of them at the time. The emotional cruelty, verbal abuse....never.

I think if you truly love someone, and they are willing to change, and DO change, about anything can be forgiven. I too was cheated on for a long time... but beyond that, my husband was VERY abusive when we first got together, all the way through the first 5 years of our relationship. It was the only way he knew how to argue, and it was what he had done, and what had been done to him, in his past relationships. But all has been forgiven, and things have changed soooo much. I am not going to say that anyone should stay through abuse, by the way, because very few will actually change this. But I am glad that I did. Our relationship is finally where it should have been back then!!!!

I would be dumping him and getting him out of my life quickly. How can you love someone so much without loving yourself first. Yopu don't nned that.

Yes, there are a lot of things I managed to forgive. Biggest mistake of my life. It is difficult to write about it even this day.

Im happy for you that everything are verygood in your relationship. For me i could not forgive my self for making bad judgement for my relationship i cannot go back to it for it is already in the past. I just learn that try to talk and communicate with your partner not pre judge for you will regret in the end just like me. :( But i have to move on with my mistake. . . .

actually i did not experience dat but for me...just think of the consequences and rethink...its ur decision and not oders so just pray to god...

You don't owe anyone an explanation. What is unforgivable to me may not be to you, so what I might think is irrelevant. Make your own decisions and don't apologize for them. People who ask you why you stay are out of bounds. Simply tell them that you've decided to stay with your husband, and leave it at that. Here's hoping things will continue to work out for you!

to forgive somebody is the biggest gesture and according to me if you forgive somebody there is a possiblity that the person may change his or her view for you and may change personally.and moreover you feel kind of satisfied after doing that.so try to forgive