I think I need a gas mask!!! Someone please light a match or something!
By brokentia
@brokentia (10389)
United States
January 26, 2007 10:36am CST
What is going on lately? I swear I am going to buy a gas mask because this is really getting awful!!
First it started with my dog's breath, KC. We got a new puppy and got the puppy different food that because KC has a weight issue that we have to control with her diet. But sure enough, new food means she has to try it. But the new food upset her stomach and made her breath kick like Bruce Lee fighting off ten guys at once!!!
Then my boys started in with emitting the foul odor! I don't know what the school is feeding them, but it has got to stop! I would get upset at them because they could stink up the room and they thought it was funny! You know, other people are trying to breathe here! So, I told them that they must go into the bathroom if they needed to release the pressure. LOL Well, sure enough, I turn around when I am starting to choke again to blame one of the boys. And he tells me that he DID go into the bathroom but it must have followed him out or got stuck in his pants! I think he would be a good candidate for a pair of those Farty Pants that a friend posted about the other day here on myLot!
Now, I am sitting alone in my house...just me and my two dogs while the kids are at school and my partner is at work. When all of the sudden, I just want to put on a gas mask because my room smells like a sewer plant! What the heck is that puppy eating? Nevermind...I don't want to know if it is anything besides his food! They need to make a filter for dog butts! Cause I swear, he is keeps this up, I am going to put a cork in his a$$ (sorry, but there really was not other word to properly express myself:). LOL But then I think that will not work because then I would be subjected to projectiles! Bailey gets that pressure build up and IN COMING! I would then be laid out on the floor from the projected cork and the stink of what cause the dangerous missile!
So, I think my best idea is to just get a gas mask. They can't be too expensive...right? Where would I find one? Do they take Paypal?
And trust me, you can Febreeze his butt all day and it is just going to make that horrible mixed smell! Yuck! Neutralize the air my butt! ha ha
Have you been having problems in your house with people? Care to join in with me wearing a gas mask?
9 people like this
18 responses
@imadriscoll (2228)
• United States
26 Jan 07
You should check out http://www.alerg.com and look under their chemical warfare masks ... as it seems as though your sons and dogs have declared chemical warfare on you! They have adult and children sizes. Unfortuantely the cheapest one that I saw was about $240 (though there's free shipping on orders over $200) and if your whole family needed a mask then you're looking at spending thousands of dollars.
Perhaps you should reconsider the cork idea and just wear an old football helmet!
4 people like this
@brokentia (10389)
• United States
26 Jan 07
I see your point. A football helmet would probably be cheaper. ha ha
But I am also thinking that if I can earn enough money on myLot and the boys and dogs have declared chemical warfare...I will be the only one to get the mask. Because with time, I think the whole house will be ganging up on me....that time being how long it takes for me to earn enough on myLot to get that much! ha ha
3 people like this
@rsmith512 (1561)
• United States
27 Jan 07
Hahahaha!!! I think that it would be a lot cheaper to get a foot ball helmet!
Those gas masks are really expensive. And, if you had to get one for every body that would just be outragious!!
And, if you got one....I would want one! How cool could that be?
I would definaltey want some picture then!!! :D
@emeraldisle (13139)
• United States
26 Jan 07
OMG thank you for such a good laugh this morning. I needed it. I almost fell out of my chair because of it but boy did I need it. Could use the gas mask as well. Between our animals and my brother I sometimes wish I could trap it, I'd make a fortune from the amount. Then again with my luck they would say I was hording Weapons of Mass Destruction with how lethal this stuff is. They'd throw my butt in jail while the ones producing it are laughing their butts off.
@ashumit02 (818)
• United States
27 Jan 07
Polution causes us to be more alert while thinking or moving
@magikrose (5429)
• United States
26 Jan 07
You always make me laugh at the right times. How do you do it?
I have to agree with you at times. There are times I want to cork the cats butts because they stink so bad not to mentone the litter box. I get the litter that is saposed to eliminate the odor YEAH RIGHT it dosnt work or at least not on my cats. And they love to let loose right when they get settled in your lap or arms too, it is almost like they do it on purpose.
My husband is another issue. He will let loose and then turn arround and go WOOOOO and start wavng at his behind as to fan it away. And OMG it dosnt work it only makes it worse.
Hope i gave you a giggle. Have a fun day.
3 people like this
@brokentia (10389)
• United States
26 Jan 07
Yes, I really am laughing out loud in front of the laptop. ha ha
I agree, when they try to fan it, it just makes it worse!
Instead of it getting it to go away, it actually makes it spread before it rises away. Now, the foul odor is attacking more nostrils and gagging more people!
I am glad I was able to make you laugh! I should really consider writing a book about my life!
1 person likes this
@patootie (3592)
•
26 Jan 07
One of the advantages of living alone is no nasty niffs .. other than your own of course ... but I once had a boyfriend who had the foulest rear end odour you can imagine .. I think the romance lasted for less than a month as I simply didn't ever want hime to take his clothes off hahahaha!!!
I also had two very smelly cats from time to time .. my male cat thought it was extrmely funny to jump up onto my lap get me started with the peting thing and then shhwwoooofffff ... ye gods what had he been eating .. I there's me just breathed in the gas from inside his body ... eugh eugh eugh .. I swear he used to turn round and point his derriere directly at my nose and at close range ... and if cats can laugh he was flippin' grinning all over his face hahaha!!!
3 people like this
@ILANEDRI (1921)
• Israel
27 Jan 07
LoL I know what you talking about. My dog also has bad smell sometimes, but only when he needs to get out. The smell is terrible!
I have a gas mask from the last war that was here in Israel, but I didn't though about using it against the smell :D
Maybe the food is not good for the puppy, and he needs other food? Go and ask your vet about it, i'm sure that he will know what to do.
@knights_of_honour (348)
• India
27 Jan 07
Ok I have great products which will surely eradicate bad breadth of your pets so why dont you follow my url which is posted under my response to this discussion. I have mentioned there good ways to stop pets from smelling bad. Please see the site it will help you.
1 person likes this
@knights_of_honour (348)
• India
27 Jan 07
I think you are bit over reacting to issues. Come on every one farts once in a while and that too natural but I assuem you are making a mountain over mole hill. If you are seriously trobled smells inside your house then you could probably use these aromatic products. yes sometimes if pets are not well kept they smell bad and there are many reasons for bad breath for a pet. Its important that keep pets dentally clean as it is the biggest cause of bad breadth in pets. You can find great dental products for your pets here http://www.indipets.com/products and for the aromatic products you can always visit this site. http://www.indipets.com/products/#Aromatherapy if you need more info ask me.
1 person likes this
@brokentia (10389)
• United States
27 Jan 07
You rock Zukepr!!! :)
Thank you for the well said comments! I was still trying to figure out how to say something without being offensive. :) I think you did a great job of it!
2 people like this
@brendalee (6082)
• United States
26 Jan 07
I almost fell out of my chair laughing so hard. Thanks for the laugh. But all kidding aside, I know exactly how you feel. I'm lucky with my boyfriend as he almost always gives off the noisey ones, so I have plenty of time to take cover. I often find myself with my shirt over my face. I think a gas mask would be a wonderful idea. Now with the dogs, its a different story, they let off those silent ones. I've also been known to "clear a room" but I am not nearly as bad as the rest of them.
1 person likes this
@polachicago (18716)
• United States
27 Jan 07
LOL, I have two dogs and one cat. I always buy special food for indoor pets. It helps a lot.
O my God, I am still loughing.
@Willowlady (10658)
• United States
26 Jan 07
My first thought was this new diet you are using and everyone must be eating it too. That change in diet suddenly could be the culprit of all the stink! The dog just needs more exercise and the regular food! That would benefit you too, the exericse I mean!! Plants are know to better the quality of air in the home. You can start growing herbs like Lemon Balm and Mint and those could be made into great room freshers. For the eating dog and people they could start with some charcoal and chlorophyl and that might freshen some things up. Hoping you keep the sense of humor through all this. Hoping I also helped in some way!!
2 people like this
@moonflowerpixy (536)
• United States
27 Jan 07
You are so crazy!:) You make me laugh. I needed some good humor today. Just what the doctor ordered! I found my mask at the five and dime... Right next to the earplugs I wear at night to sleep...:) LOL-)0(
1 person likes this
@ronaldinu (12422)
• Malta
26 Jan 07
A simpler solution carry an air freshner with you to spray your son's or your dog's butt. LOL You made me laugh. I have the same problem with my partner. She does emit pressure in bed and believe me its a complete turn off.
2 people like this
@nibory (177)
• United States
26 Jan 07
This is too funny. We keep a candle in our bathroom for that very reason and it works quite well. You do have to shut the bathroom door though for it to work its best.
We're pretty good in our house about respecting other people's air but sometimes it does just "stuck in your pants," as your son so politely put it.
Good luck. This might help: http://www.approvedgasmasks.com/
@blueskies (1186)
• United States
27 Jan 07
Oh my goodness, you've got me laughing so hard. I know just where you're coming from. I have one of the gassiest boys to ever walk this earth. To make matters worse, he farts, then starts giggling, which forces out even more farts....it's a vicious cycle. Thankfully, he tries to do it in the other room, but it still follows him around.
As for the dog, I truly feel your pain. Our older dog gets gassy occasionally, but we've found a brand of food that doesn't cause gas, finally. Our puppy, on the other hand, couldn't handle the richness of the first brand of puppy food that we bought. Her blanket is right next to my chair and she would fart all day long. It was so obnoxious! We've now switched her to the same brand of food as our older dog---no more gas. BTW, we feed Purina One, in case you want to know.
@brokentia (10389)
• United States
27 Jan 07
Thanks for including what food you feed your dog!
I may just have to talk my partner into whiching Bailey.
Because if he keeps this up, I think one day my kids will come home from school passed out due to lack of oxygen!
3 people like this
@cloud_kicker_32 (4635)
• United States
27 Jan 07
HAHAHAH!! YOUR TOO FUNNY! ya made me laugh out loud lol.omg!! its great to hear other people have the same nasty problems and will admit it lol..I have 2 cats and ohh myy they STANK SOO BADDD!! especially the one..the oldest! peeee uuuu!!lol..but i have news for you11 i was sent this site last night on here and your gonna love it!! ill send you the link and you have to check it out!! They are called FARTPANTS..lol lol..Im considering buying them and remaking them to fit my animals! lol lol!! let me know what ya think!! byee!
http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_2168888.html?menu=
@Lydia1901 (16351)
• United States
3 Feb 07
Well, I feel sorry for you. Thankfully, I do not have that problem in my house. Maybe your puppy is just getting used to the new food, it'll probably won't last for long.
@brokentia (10389)
• United States
4 Feb 07
I am beginning to think it is because he keeps eating crayons! LOL
1 person likes this
@shywolf (4514)
• United States
26 Jan 07
LOL!! I'm so sorry that the area around you seems to have an odor problem lately. Maybe you should buy some of those "Fartypants" that I posted about days ago, lol! It sounds like they could come in handy. LOL about Febreeze not helping! *laugh* Anyway, if that doesn't work, I guess that you will have to go with what you said and start hunting up a gas mask for yourself - let me guess, you can probably buy one on Ebay, right? LOL. You can find just about anything under the sun there, so I bet that you really could buy one if you wanted to! *laugh* ^_^
@Debs_place (10520)
• United States
3 Feb 07
Ok, kids will produce toxic odors, especially boys, they take great pride in this.
But for your puppy, are you feeding a good qualit food. I remember one time, I had a female dobie, sweetest dog, I ran to the grocery store one day and picked up something that was on sale, rather then the usual Iams. What a stink, one time she was laying down, she let one loose, turned her head toward the butt, took 2 sniffs and she walked away.
We tossed the grocery store food and went back to the Iams. Since then, the dogs only get gas if they steal some table food or pick something up while they are being walked.
Hope this helps. Air pollution is a concern for us all.
