I don't know if I'm coming or going anymore!
By Stephannie
@stephcjh (38473)
United States
January 26, 2007 1:11pm CST
Hi. I am feeling the pressure to go vent a little bit. I am a stay at home mom and have been over the last 4 years. I have tried to earn online to help us out financially at home. I just feel overwhelmed with all the daily activities and chores around here. I think I try to get oo many things done in a days time. At the end of the day, I get very disappointed in myself like I just didn't do enough or get enough done or accomplished. Right now, I am trying to get the bed linens washed and trying to go around the house dusting a bit. I have two checking account statements laying here in front of me also to balance. I just feel like there isn't enough time in a day to get all of this stuff done. I seem to get so far and realize, it is now to start all over where I first began and I never get done with what I set out to do to begin with. sometimes I ask myself, what is more important for the day to be very prosperous but I still find myself in the same ole daily routines and hardly ever seem to get anywhere. I have really become to like mylot alot and I am addicted to it already, but I just cannot seem to find enough time in a day to sit down here and put alot into as much as I would like to. Every time I sit down and try to get started in mylot, the dryer goes off or I think of a hundred other things i need to get done. Is anyone else experiencing this? Or am I just losing my mind?
17 people like this
38 responses
@TurnkeySetup (119)
• United States
26 Jan 07
Hello, Ok well here goes a mans point of view (maybe make a few men upset here) Oh well anyways ...
Personally I think it would not hurt your husband to help out a little even if he works a real day job. 30 minutes when he comes home to maybe wash the dishes or vacuum the floor is not going to kill him. Maybe make up the beds or fold the laundry.
I have a wife and family and I help my wife all the time around the house. I work online running my own business (website developer) and I work 18 hours a day 7 days a week and still find time to help the wife out around the house.
Now ofcourse yes I work at home for myself so its easier for me to do so but I did not always work at home, I worked in management for 12 years at 12 hours a day 7 days a week and still when I came home I offered to help out around the house.
I dont want to step on any toes here but thats just my opinion.. If you have a husband or boyfriend then it would not hurt for them to do some things for you.
Other than that I would make a list and on that list certain things for certain days and stick to your list (like washing the cloths is only on monday or dusting the livingroom on teusday) .. Set it up so its doing a little here and there and stay with it.. you will find that you do actaully have more time then you think and you are getting more done than you think..
@craftwave (1338)
• United States
27 Jan 07
Bless you for thinking of your wife. I have a husband who was an angel when it came to helping out. One of the best things he would do when he came home and could see I was frazzled and at the end of my rope would be to push me out the door and say go do something I'll watch the kids. Even if it was just to take a walk, or go to the library to get a book and read for awhile it was great.
1 person likes this
@creativedreamweaver (7297)
• United States
26 Jan 07
I can empathize. I too am a stay at home wife and freelance writer. My kids are grown, so I don't have to worry with the whole taking care of the kids thing. But, I am still behind. I feel like I am alway behind in something, whether it is the housework, the yardwork, the baking, my writing, my novel...the list goes on.
I have found that making lists helps. I make out a list of the top five things I need to do in a day. Then I list the smaller, less important items below it. I work on the top five first. If I can squeeze some of the smaller ones in between the bigger ones, I will. I have also found that http://www.flylady.com, has helped me clean my house more efficiently. I just started using the site, but it is helping. I wish you the best, I know how it feels to be overwhelmed.
2 people like this
@lovetmyou (111)
• Philippines
19 Dec 11
I am not a stay home mom but a stay home man with an internet ministry and with an out-reach in different places. I get out 3 to 5 times a week. Likewise, kids are all grown up. When I was working I thought after retired I would have a lot of times to all I need to do. Now I am more behind now than before. Why is that? Even if I make a list of all the things I need to do. Some tells me to resist the urge to start something new. But that sounds good for a few days, then as before the same things happen over again and the job get not finish. Some say! Some of the things you start may not be worth of completing. At that time it means all the world to me, it stinks. Why I keep doing this over and over?
@happythoughts (4109)
• United States
27 Jan 07
I feel like I run around all day and never get my work done. I only have 2 kids ages 5 and 2, but I still feel rushed all day and never done. Ive got to give props to the mothers who stay home with more kids. The stress kills me sometimes.
I had been feeling picked on and unappreciated lately and I went to a wedding reciently and an old neighbor asked me what I had been doing with my life. I told her I had been a homemaker for 6 years now. She said "Oh" like it must be so disapointing for me to not contribute to the world. I got so angry. It hit me how thankful I really am to stay home with my babies and keep up my home. I never get my work done and have occasional meltdowns, but overall I am very thankful for my life just the way it is. No one loves my kids more than I do so they are where they are going to thrive the best.
2 people like this
@sharon613 (2321)
• United States
26 Jan 07
Unfortunately, I am going through the same thing. I got up super early this morning hoping to finally get my work done with my emails. There are just too too many emails coming at me that I constantly am feeling overwhelmed. Whenever you feel overwhelmed try and take some relaxing time even if its just for 20 minutes or even a half hour.
2 people like this
@sanjaypatel250174 (250)
• India
27 Jan 07
There will always be things to do but the day will always be for 24 hours only.So you need to think over this and you need to manage your day accordingly.Since you are a stay home mom,i am sure you would be doing some things on a daily basis.So you would be able to chalk out a time-table for the same.Once you have chalked a time-table,stick to it.
2 people like this
@caper111 (163)
• Canada
26 Jan 07
I know exactly how you feel. I love my kids, but I get so sick of the endless sinkful of dishes and the toys that no matter how many times you pick them up are always right back on the floor. And when my husband comes home he sits down and watches t.v., and if I ask him to help me he says he is tired. Well so am I but the kids still need to be fed and bathed, plus a million other things have to be done as well. Then on the weekend he sleeps in and I get up with the kids. When is a mother's day off? I would really like to know.
@prettypinkbug (437)
• United States
27 Jan 07
Yeah, when does mom get a vacation? You know I feel this way too, ALOT. Dad gets a vactaion from work, but nothing changes for the mom. Though I feel this way, I have to say, I don't like being without my kids for too long. :)
1 person likes this
@Sissygrl (10912)
• Canada
27 Jan 07
I feel the same way, but i have a small baby, so i come on here either when daddy is home or when she is napping. sometimes she will sit and play in her chair with her toys for a while but she usually doens't give me enough time to get everything i need to get done in the run of a day as well as any free time for myself. so i usually pick the most important things to do. eat, clean kitchen, dishes, and if something doesn't get done that day OH WELL. i'm not super woman, and i'm not worried about all the little stuff. well i try not to be worried about little stuff. as long as the kitchen is clean and the baby is happy. then i'm good to go. lol.
2 people like this
@jbrooks0127 (2324)
• United States
26 Jan 07
Trust me you are doing far more than you think you are. Mylot can be addictive and all you want to do is sit here and do this. This leaves no time for anything else so you must give somewhere.
I told mylot to notify me when ever you ask a question so I could respond if I wanted to. I have never ever seen anyone more productive than you. And great questions. I find I can't answer all your questions alone because you are so productive.
So...;.if you are doing all the housework and this too I think you may be expecting far too much out of yourself. As you know you only have 24 hours in one day 16 of which you may have available to work. So pick the most importand and do it first...and right down the line.
I find with no plan all I get done is all the wrong things.
So you are doing great. Just don't expect so much.
2 people like this
@mommy2taylor1 (405)
• United States
27 Jan 07
I'm a stay @ home Mom too. & No, your not crazy! I was feeling this way too, but then I started reading a book called : Simple Abundance and it has helped transform my life in so many ways. I made a chart Monday- Sunday and wrote down different chores for each day that I needed to do. Of course some things I do 2x a week so like Mon & Wed. are the same thing with something else added that needs to be done. This helped me out so much, because after I'm done with all my chores on each day, I dedicate all to my little one & then when she naps-- I take time for myself. & I don't have to worry about not getting anything done-- because you already did your days work. This might help you too, it's atleast worth a try. You sound stressed out & that's how I was too.. that's why I had to organize and make my life better. Good luck.
2 people like this
@cjayden (110)
• United States
27 Jan 07
I am a stay at home mom of 2, I often feel the same way you do. Things at my house are non stop! Either i am always picking up after the kids or just doing something during the day i need to be done. Being a stay at home mom isnt as easy as some think or say it is.
1 person likes this
@prettypinkbug (437)
• United States
27 Jan 07
You are right! Being a stay-at-home mom is a full time job. Alot of people just don't understand. My husband always tells me that I have the hardest job in the world. I would have to agree even though it is the most rewarding.
1 person likes this
@tarachand (3895)
• India
27 Jan 07
Being a homemaker is a difficult task, more than most people realize. I retired at age forty and started a small home business that required just a couple of hours of work a day. I then realized the amount of work my wife put in just to have the house runjnig inspite of the hired help, and ran her own business as well at the same time. Homemakers do deserve appreciation and all the help that they can get from heir spouses/partners. I salute to you all!
@margieanneart (26423)
• United States
28 Jan 07
A stay a home mom is a big job in itself. Don't be hard on yourself. Your family comes first.
As for MyLot, you don't make that much on it. I get an average of $2 to $4. a day, and that is for a lot of hours to put in. I mostly do it for the great friendships I have made on here.
So, just do it in the evening when everything is done, and instead of tv, sit on here for awhile. Blessings, M&M
1 person likes this
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
28 Jan 07
I think you will find a lot of People get like that and I used to when my Kids where little but I have to say I did not have a Computer then I didn't know anything about a Computer at all and I was actually a working Mum Part Time when they where younger and Full time when they where older so weekends where taken up with full cleaning washing and all that then it was time to go back to work
So no you are not loosing your Mind at all
@olaff123 (433)
• Namibia
27 Jan 07
No, you're not losing your mind. I have the same problem - too much to do and way too little time. I've tried making lists and god knows what else, but at the end of the day is seems as if all the little things that had to be done somehow multiplied. Good luck!
@XxAngelxX (2830)
• Canada
28 Jan 07
Housework is never done. It's a constantly revolving chore. You just get one room cleaned and there's another one messy. By the time you get that one done, the first room is a mess again. I totally understand. There is never enough time to do anything. I too am a stay at home mom but in another month or so, I will be re-entering the workforce. I wonder if my house will be a little cleaner because there will be nobody here during the day, or if it will be worse because we'll only be home in the evenings and the kids will still make a mess then, but i will certainly have less time to clean it then! lol
1 person likes this
@yanjiaren (9031)
•
26 Jan 07
you are right..i just joined mylot a couple of days ago and feel addicted..i have realised that i have to limit it to one hour a day..like reading a papaer or relaxing and watching a tv show..just pace yourself..we are under no obligation to be here..it is an optional extra..yet the cooking and cleaning has to be done..so don';t panic..do what you have to do and come here to relax..from tomorrow i will be only putting in one hour maximum
