Forgiveness...a moral obligation??

I can certainly understand and relate to what you are saying. I was physically abused, as a young child, by my oldest sister, and I still (at over 70) bear the visible effects of that abuse. I was abused by my father and physically, mentally, sexually and emotionally abused by two step fathers. I bear no ill will to any of them. I had been separated by distance from the sister who abused me for thirty-three years, but when I met her again I felt nothing for her but pity. We are still separated by distance but are in happy communication. I sought my father because I wanted to know him and regret we never reconciled. My second step father was the most evil person I have ever known, but I feel no harsh feelings or resentments towards him. When he was dying I tried to comfort him. Are we morally obligated to forgive? That depends on the way each person believes. I feel, myself, that harbouring grudges or resentments or bitterness, only hurts oneself. I feel we need to forgive. In a matter of a broken friendship or relationship, forgiveness doesn't necessarily mean the friendship or relationship returns to where it was broken and returns to normal. While there is reconciliation, the bond may be broken. In my case, I have forgiven them, and feel no resentment, because I can actually be thankful for everything that happened to me. It all made me what I am today. A good discussion. One which has no right or wrong answers. I believe it depends on the person, but I also believe the healthiest way is to forgive and forget.

As a christian; my very soul depends on it! Gods' direction for that is in MATTHEW 6:14-15 King James bible....You can make a "choice" to forgive and God will heal your hurt; and the feelings left from your assault. That doesn't mean you have to forget; but we are to pray for our enemies and that "heaps firey coals upon their head" or in other words God will reap the revenge on that person. I have been there; and only when I made a conscious CHOICE to forgive did I ever get released from the scars it left. It's not so much a matter of "moving forward" as it is "going UPWARD". blessings and peace to you......

I don't tihnk anyone has a moral obligation to forgive anyone. I think that some things are so bad that we can never forgive a person for them, but I do also think it is good for the soul to try to forgive wherever possible, but that is just a personal belief and not something I would try to enforce on other people.

I would not forgive in that case, if I had someone abuse me. I would go on with my life but I wouldn't for give him. that's my feelings, if you did for give him you are good. My sister has been married to her Huband for almost 16 yrs. and she know that her husband molested my niece which is 25 now. It can out last yr. she told what he did, my sister is taking up for her husband I can't stand him. and wouldn'y trust him around kids.

definitely not!!!! i can forget but i cant forgive easily. even those people who do wrong to my loveones and not to me someitms i still find it hard to forgive. what is thse sense of forgiving if its not really meant... there are things in this world that even time cannot permit to let us forgive sometimes it even takes us a lifetime to forgive. forgiveness should come from the heart and not just because of feeling of obligation.

I believe forgiveness is only necessary in the context of relationships that you wish to continue. If you're currently in a relationship with someone (of any type) and you're holding over their head things from the past, then it's going to be harmful to the relationship. Beyond that type of forgiveness, I don't see any need for it. I've had a lot of unsavory things said to me in the past of the topic of my inability to forgive people who have hurt me. Not talking small slights here, but serious abuse that scarred me for life. I will not forgive it. I will live my life as best I can, move forward, become as mentally and emotionally healthy as possible, but I can do all of that without forgiving, as far as I'm concerned.

I think it is important to forgive, I don't think you HAVE to forgive somebody though. I know when I don't forgive somebody I feel terrible, but it's not something you have too do. It's not gonna change what happens to you after you die.

To each his own.... I was abused by my older brother and he has never taken responsibility for what he did. He denies everything and is a parasite on society. I have discussed this matter with a psychiatrist and he and I both agree that forgiveness is not necessary. I have forgiven people for things they have done to me and it is something that only I could make a decision on. I feel that it is a higher power that must forgive my brother. Until my brother can admit to the wrong and appologize after admitting his crime, there is no reason for me to forgive him. I have gone on with my life and I am in control of my life.

I personally do not have to do anything I don't want to & that includes forgiving someone. Just because they may say they are sorry does not mean I have to forgive them. There are somethings that are bigger than just being able to say I am sorry. Now that being said I have forgiven most things in my life. That is so I can have my own peace of mind & does not have a lot to do with the other person.

I don't think forgiveness is a moral obligation. I fo believe, however, that the concept was introduced as a social mechanism to prevent feuds between clans and tribes. I is unnatural to simply forgive and forget. It encourages one to be available for the same mistreatment and to avoid learning from their experiences. It is up to the injured party to determine how they will handle their feelings. Emotions are necessary tools for survival. It is cruel to expect or demand they be dealt with in a specific manner and then to label that as a moral obligation.

I forgive because it makes me feel better about myself but I NEVER forget.

No, I don't think you have to forgive to move on. You are a strong person for moving on with your life. Some people can't move on even if they have forgiven the guilty party. I think it's more a matter of my life was bad, but I am strong and I can make it good. And you have done. I wouldn't worry about forgiveness.

I too had a very abusive childhood, and I've also been raped. Because I am a Christian, I took it very seriously when the Bible said that you must forgive in order to be forgiven, and that no matter how many times a person offends you, you must continue to forgive them. I didn't understand this, but because I wanted to live according to the Word of God I knew I had to try. Forgiving someone doesn't mean that you forget or excuse what they did. It means to acknowledge the wrong, but to leave the punishment in God's hand. To not continue to hold it against them, but to believe God when he says he will repay every wrong, and to show the same mercy that you want to be showed when you yourself commit a wrong.

I honestly don't think that there is a right or a wrong answer to this question. People have disagreed on the subject in the past, disagree now, and will disagree in the future. Personally, I think that it is extremely hard to forgive some things... I too have been raped... but I decided long ago that hating the men who did what they did to me was getting me NOWHERE. For me, it wasn't just forgiving me that made it easier to move on, it was forgiving myself... for being in the wrong place at the wrong time, for mistaking them as friends, for all the little things that were really not my fault. Somewhere along the line, you will have to forgive SOMEONE. Whether it is yourself or them, because even if you think you have moved on, this post shows clearly that you have not. Whatever you choose to do, I wish you the best. And by the way...forgiving someone does not mean that you have excused what they did!

Forgiveness is still important.If you have not yet forgiven someone even if you feel that your moving on with your life this is not really so.The reason why can we not forgive someone is because we have taken pain from that person.Hence that pain is subtly causing burden to us. So forgiving someone is really a humbling act but will give you a wonderful feeling of lightness.

Ack - that's a tough one...I would find it very hard to forgive - but then again, I'm morally bound because I'm a Christian - and the Lord expects me to forgive others in the way he has forgiven me. That doesn't mean I have to trust these people again or that I would ever get around them, but grudges and hate does nothing to the person, it only brings negative effects to myself - somewhere I read that hatred and animosity brings a negative chemical into your body that harms you...but I could be way off base on that one. I'm by no means telling you are right or wrong - I can't imagine what you have gone through or what it must feel like - please don't get that from what I'm saying...but this answer is in MY case.

For me i think it took a long time to forgive people. Although, it is a MUST. But sometimes isn't easy to forgive, most especially when you've got hurt that's tough to forget even though they're asking your forgiveness. Yes Forgiveness make your life peacefully, but grant that forgiveness in the right. If you're ready enough to forgive them.

important to forgive......well, it is for an individual to decide. i'm sure one can move on in life without forgiving some people. i know have moved on in life and still haven't forgiven a few people. but gradually you start thinking less and less about them........that's how you move on.

I always believe in the fact that, "Whatever happens, it happens for the good only". I takes everything as a learning process. I don't say, whatever happened to you was good. It was really unfair. I can feel what you have gone through. However, I still believ, forgiveness is always a good thing. It really makes you feel relaxed. I understand you cant forget such things very easily, however you could of course forgive them. By forgiving, it doesn't mean that you don't have any problems with those people doing such pathetic things. Forgiving someone means, you are just keeping that person away from your life. You are not going to allow that person to make any effects on your life anymore. I strongly believe in the theory of "Karma". Karma means deeds. It says, whatever you do, becoumes your karma (good karma or bad karma). Now it is the rule of karma that, your karma account will going to be balanced equally here in this life and this world only. Let me explain that more carefully with the example. Many a times, you must have felt that you got something good in your life was actually a result of something you have done good in the past. At the same time you might have felt many a times that, you are stuck up somewhere in the big problem and it was due to some your own mistakes in the past. This is the theory of karma, whatever you do good, you will get good results out of it in this life only. And whatever you do bad, you will have to face consequences of that in this life only. So, you don't worry if someone is not behaving the way he/she should behave with you. They are collecting their bad karmas and they will have to suffer for it in their lives sonner or later. Forgiveness is the best way to earn good karmas in your life, which will surely help you out to gain something good in your life sooner or later. Lastly, start learning how to forgive each and every bad or wrong things happes with you. I know it might takes time but believe me it will helps you in many ways. Don't believe my words, just experience it by your own.

well...I believe that there is nothing so bad that cannot be forgiven! Refusing to forgive by holding on to the anger, resentment and a sense of betrayal can make your own life miserable. A vindictive mind-set creates bitterness. Forgiveness challenges you to give up your destructive thoughts about the situation and to believe in the possiblity of a better future. It builds confidence that you can survive the pain and grow from it. Alexander Pope once said "To err is human, to forgive, Divine" Believe it!