Blonde Jokes

Why does the blond have bruises around her belly button? Her boyfriend is blond, too!

WHY DO BLONDES WHERE SHOULDER PADS? I DUNNO.. SHAKES HEAD LEFT TO RIGHT SHOULDER.

Two blondes walk into an building, you thought at least one of them would have seen it.

Q: What is the difference between a blonde and the Grand Old Duke of York? A: The Grand Old Duke of York only 'had' 10000 men.

One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle. Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde started laughing. This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield. This time the blonde laughed even harder. Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car. The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what's so funny. The blonde giggles and replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"

Two bored casino dealers were waiting at the craps table. A very attractive blonde woman arrived and bet twenty-thousand dollars ($20,000) on a single roll of the dice. She said, "I hope you don’t mind, but I feel much luckier when I play topless." With that, she stripped to the waist, rolled the dice, and yelled, "Come on, baby! Mama needs new clothes!" As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down and squealed "YES! YES! I WON! I WON!" She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings and her clothes, and quickly departed. The dealers stared at each other dumfounded. Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?" The other answered, "I don’t know I thought you were watching." Moral: Not all blondes are dumb. But, all men are men.

Q: What do you call a blonde in an institution of higher learning? A: A visitor

To get into heaven you had to walk up 100 stairs but on each stair god asks you a joke if you laugh you go to HELL. So the brunette gets to the 56th stair and bursts out laughing and gets sent to hell. Then red-head gets to the 97th stair and bursts out laughing and gets sent to hell. Then the blonde gets into heaven and bursts out laughing then god asked her "why are you laughing?" the blonde replied "I just got the first one!"

What does a blonde and a harley have in common? After a hard days ride they both drip for 15 minutes.

An overweight blonde consulted her doctor for advice. The doctor advised that she run ten miles a day for thirty days. This, he promised, would help her lose as many as twenty pounds. The blonde followed the doctor's advice, and, after thirty days, she was pleased to find that she had indeed lost the pesky twenty pounds. She phoned the doctor and thanked him for the wonderful advice which produced such effective results. At the end of the conversation, however, she asked one last question: "How do I get home, since I am now 300 miles away?"

Why can't a blonde make orange juice? Because the can says "concentrate" :)

Did you hear about the blonde that invented the solar flashlight?

A little tired of dumb blonde jokes? Here are some dumb guy jokes! ** Why do men like smart women? ....Opposites attract. ** How do men define a "50/50" relationship? .....We cook -- they eat; we clean -- they dirty; we iron -- they wrinkle. ** How do you get a man to stop biting his nails? .....Make him wear shoes. ** What did God say after creating man? .....I can do so much better. ** What's the smartest thing a man can say? ....."My wife says..." ** Why are all dumb blonde jokes one-liners? .....So men can understand them. ** Why do female black widow spiders kill the males after mating? .....To stop the snoring before it starts. ** Why do men need instant replay on TV sports? .....Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened. ** Why does it take 100 million sperm to fertilize one egg? .....Because none of them will stop to ask for directions. ** Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for men than for women? .....When it's time to go back to his childhood, he's already there. ^^;;;

why did the blonde tiptoe past thee medicine cabinet? because she didnt want to wake up the sleeping tablets.

There is only one blonde joke. The rest of them are true.

i dont know. what a blonde joke means?

What do you call it when a blonde dyes her hair brown? artifical intelligence

A beautiful blonde gets on an airplane going to Los Angeles and sits in First Class. The flight attendant tells her that her ticket is for a coach seat and would she please go to her proper seat. The blonde says: "I'm blonde and beautiful and I'm going to Los Angeles first class." "I'm sorry", says the flight attendant, "but your ticket is for coach and this seat was paid for someone else." At which the blonde says, "I'm blonde and beautiful and I'm going to Los Angeles first class." The flight attendant goes to the pilot with the problem. The pilot walks up to the blonde and whispers in her ear. She immediately gets up and goes back to her coach seat. The flight attendant asks the pilot what he said to the blonde. "It's simple," says the pilot, "I told her the first class isn't goint to Los Angeles." **Taken from www.emailajoke.com

One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle. Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde started laughing. This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield. This time the blonde laughed even harder. Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car. The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what's so funny. The blonde giggles and replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"

Why doesnt a blonde need a drivers liscence? Because theres no road from the kitchen to the laundry room.