Why do people assume ?

Right from the begginig of my first pregnancy the dr.s were telling me that something was wrong with my daughter. They thouy she would have spina bifida but the tests said no. Turned out my daughter was born at 7 monthes ( i think from all the tests they were doing on me) she weighed only 2 pounds and had a heart mummer and apnea. All the doctors said she would have something wrong with her like bad eyesight or very slow learning. She is now 16 and very healthy no problems at all and shes been on the honor roll since 4th grade every year. So I dont belive what people say anymore.

People do that with anyone who is different. Different automatically means bad to so many people. You can be mentally handicapped and be brilliant and people still won't let themselves see it. I used to work in college for the Office for Students with Disabilities and so many of them were brilliant. Some were blind, some couldn't walk, some had CP..the list goes on and on. I took notes, read to them, filled in their tests or their homework if they couldn't write and I had a field day working with some of them.

I understand what you are saying, some people ars rude so they deserve it . It would annoy me to if I was in the same situation.

Because again it comes down to judging as People do Weemam this world will never change in that sense if anything it will get worse But I am glad that your Son has proved People wrong I really am Like the Photo by the Way

I have cerebral palsy, too. I'm full time in a wheelchair and get 16 hours of personal care assistance a day to help with basic tasks like using the bathroom, cooking, dressing, and housekeeping. I went to residential college and live on my own with support now. I have for six years. I use some government programs to help meet my needs, such as SSI and food stamps. The state also pays for my PCA care. Like your son, I'm mentally fine and do many things like writing; I have published 6 poetry chapbooks. I spend lots of time doing activism and I have run for office a few times. I also have my integrated dance teaching license (I teach modern dance and improov to other disabled people). I don't know why people make assumptions about us. I also wish they wouldn't, but would give us a chance first.

i guess its human nature. People always tend to assume things because they couldnt be bothered to find out the truth. I also get annoyed when people assume things but everyone does it. Maybe not for certain things but in certain situations everyone assumes something. Its not the best way to deal with things but it easier and is the tendancy of most people. I think people should try there best not to assume as usually it leads to them being wrong and this leads to a lot of negative things coming of it...

well as August Bier said A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. I think you are a smart one. We are humans and we need to categorise people and label them, we can not work if we do not label -we need labels to drive, to cook, to run, to move, for cars, for clothes for evrything. Thats the reason we label differently abled people to. In our minds we have a certain defination of normalcy and we refuse to come out and percieve anything beyond that becuase it scares us if it is different then us. So I think its people's own insecurities and own fears that they judge your son too harshly. I will just give you a history of medicine to cheer you up: 2000 B.C. - "Here, eat this root." 1000 B.C. - "That root is heathen, say this prayer." 1850 A.D. - "That prayer is superstition, drink this potion." 1940 A.D. - "That potion is snake oil, swallow this pill." 1985 A.D. - "That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic." 2000 A.D. - "That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root."

I think a lot of it is lack of knowledge and the general "myths" or "sterotypes" that follow labeling a disease or handicap. People often assume that cerebral palsy means that the brain was damaged due to a lack of oxygen. While this is true in many cases, there are other symptoms/forms of cerebral palsy which affect mainly physical development and not mental.

I know what you mean, it's very frustrating. My son has high-functioning austism. He appears perfectly normal, so most people treat him normally. However, once they hear he has special needs, some of them will begin to talk to him as if he is retarded. Now, they just had an intelligent conversation with the boy, so they know he's bright. It makes no sense to me. As for me, I've learned that things are not always what they may seem, so I never assume. If I saw your son, I would talk to him as I would to anyone I met on the street. Sometimes I think everyone should have a special needs person in their life just so they know not to judge people by appearances or labels.

I think it is wonderful that he has come so far. I ahve a hadicap sister and she has always been treated badly even by our family. I ahte it, they are humans to ! She is great she has a wonderful loving personality and is much smarter than most people give her cridit for.

I know weemam personally and have met her son he is a wonderful person. I to have a disabled daughter who is in a wheelchair she has Friedreich's Ataxia and it does not affect her mentally she is 28 and i find that people either talk down to her or only talk to the person she is with.

What a great and inspirational post this is. The way some people judge others is upsetting to me too, but I think part of the reason people do that is just plain ignorance.

Wel I met a guy once with the same damage (or what you call it) and he and I ended up just talking about the meaning of life for the most of the night, so I know from personal experience that there is no mental handicap involved. I should add that that discussion was the best one I've ever had in all my life!

Weemam your son is a most fantastic person because you have worked hard all the way through to give him all the care and love in this world that all mothers give and your've given more why dont you post some of them wonderful poems he writes on here to help prove to other people just how normal theses children i call with special needs can do, i certainly could'nt write the winderful poems he does....send my love to all your family, love Tara

I know this can be a frustrating time, I have a child myself and it can be difficult for both adults. One feels they have to do all the work and the other feels cut off from the world but what I will say is that things won't stary like this forever. 4/5 years may seem like a long time but eventually your children will go to school and then you will be free to pursue a job and hopefully one where you can interact with the world with no concept of Ballamory

I know people who are successful, who have CP. I also know what people THINK they see. Fact is, for many years people with any kind of handicap were kept separate from the rest of us. People did not get a chance to learn how "normal" people with disabilities are. How capable "handicapped" people are. They just do not know, and maybe do not want to know. I was always the one who wanted to be friends with the children who were different in my classes at school. I got the biggest education driving bus for special education in our school district. I work in special ed classrooms in my primary job, and I work as a residential staff support person, for a second job. It is okay if you rant. You may also wake a few people up.

My daughter was also born with Cerebral Palsy, in her first years the doctors had us taking her all over the place for physical therapy and we had people coming to our home working with her. I begin to watch what everyone was doing with my daughter very closely and one day it just hit me, the people that worked with her were treating her differantly than they would other children. I realized that they were doing her more harm than good and were only holding her back. That day against my wifes wishs I ask the therapist to leave and not come back, I also stopped taking her to see all of the specialist and other people they reccomended. I turned her loose with the other children and let her play until her little hearts was content. I noticed after a short few months that by running and playing and just trying to keep up with the other children she became stronger and stronger and she begin to have fewer and fewer problems. With in a years time, unless you just knew that she had CP or you just knew what to look for, you couldnt tell that she was any differant than any other child her age. Today she plays on the basketball team and does everything any other normal teenage girl would do. I had an older doctor some years later ask me why I did what I did and after explaining to him my thoughts about the situation he told me that it was probably the best thing I could have done for her. My point is that some people are just idiots and treat our children like they are unable to live a normal life and only add to the problem by holding them back

Congratulations to you and your son for proving all the docs wrong .. but I am afriad you are right .. we go far to much on first looks .. and some will never try to look past that first look .. I know as I see people look at me and then look away .. and from then on it's like I don't exist .. yet I am intelligent, can speak nicely and I am nothing like they way they are probably imagining me .. I've got past worrying about it though .. it's their loss and my gain as I wouldn't want such shallow people for friends anyway !

I must admit that I do it. I guess when I see someone physically handicapped the natural assumption is that they also have develop mental problems also. This is something I will have to evaluate in myself when I deal with others. I guess it all goes back to the saying "Don't judge a book by it's cover"

Many people do this because it is human nature to judge at first appearences. Many people do this, and I believe that it is just some peoples nature to judge, however I have met plenty of people that are very intelligent and don't appear to be. Yes, it is sad and quit unfortunate that people judge your son, and others like them, but be optimistic. He is doing great for himself. Even though people are still going to judge him, and others like him, just pray that people will give him a chance to prove them wrong. (It sounds like he's accomplishing that already :D )