Do you have an out of control 10 year old??

Tough situation. My best advice is to ignore her when she starts to whine, if she knows that this gets under your skin then ignoring her when she is doing is going to take that power off her. Set up zones for each of the kids; sort of like a safe place for them to go that she can't enter. I know that sounds strange but it does work. Grounding, killing allowances and yelling aren't going to change things. Remember that you are the adult and you are the one in control. Have you talked with her school to see if she is doing the same thing there? Best of luck!

Me and all my lil brothers were like this. We were out of control and I never could stay in school. I think what change me was that my father talked to me everyday. Even when I didn't want to talk he made me sit there and he told me to tell him what was on my mind when certain things occcur. I had counseling threw 6th to 10th grade and every year I became better and better. By high school I was a honor student. Sometime a great weapon would put me in place by my father. When my mother would hit me I would talk back. I regret that know and will never disrespect me parents. But it's all about love and trying to get to know your kids individualy

Well I have an 11 year old daughter who for the past year is mood swinging like crazy. Within the span of a 1/2 an hour she can be singing and dancing, to screaming in anger, to sobbing, to laughing. I chalk it up to hormonal stuff. Her older sisters were the same way, but started mellowing out after age 15. One way we deal with it is to send her to her room with her "angry" music something really up tempo etc for me it used to be Black Sabbath for her it's Justin Timberlake lol! Also we tell her to chill out and draw or sketch her feelings. Basically what we do is try to channel the volitile emotions into something creative. I wish I had a better answer for you, but at least you can know that you are not alone and that it should pass when her hormones mellow out.

Noooooo!!!! no boot camp lol......Its NORMAL im rellin u i use to do it to my lil brothers and they are now twelve and im 15 its just normal thats how siblings act especially if u are older cuz they take more of the control u kno ....i have a older bro and he use to do it to me all the time its just them u kno and she could be gettin her period soon lol cuz thats how i use to act wen i was 10 lol cuz i was about to get my very first period so its normal

i understand completely i have an ii yr old thats alomost the same way except shes very mouthy and oppinionated. i just try to show her has much love as possible and at times ignore her behavior. her and i but heads all the time. she recently got into trouble with her friends she got caught stealing a candy bar from the store. which come to find out her friends had been in trouble before i grounded her and told her she was band from hanging out with these other two girls for good. i think she learned her lesson when the cops showed up at the door. she got off with a warning because i took her to the store to apologize for stealing. it seem to work because now she been alot more loving towards me. hopefully this keeps up because i like this one better.

I can relate to this. My daughter just turned twelve and she's completely out of control with her attitude. The thing is, aside from all the back talk, she's a really good kid, but she's going through a hard time trying to figure out who she is right now. If your ten year old is going through hormonal changes, it could cause a lot of conflict at home right now. It's hard, I know it is, but try not to push on her too hard. Give her some space, and keep your hand firm, but let her grow into herself. Everyone I have talked to about my problem with my own daughter says it takes about a year before they grow out of the whole nasty hormonal confusion. It's tough, but be patient!

It seems like around 10 years old that kids start to push their boundaries, just like they did when they were 2 or 3. You have to let them know who is in charge and what behavior is acceptable. Just keep doing what you are doing and don't give in. Just keep reminding yourself that you are in control because you are the adult.

Thats sibling rivalry.Let her feel that both of you loves her...In the very beginning you both have make her feel how it is to become an eldest to take care of her other sisters and brother.And you must have let her include in bathing your other sibling so that she would feel that she is part of the family...Spanking doesnt seem to help,it only makes her feel that she is an outcast.

actually you can't treat her like that. children like this need love and respect. you must really love her and you must respect her. after she get lot of love from you and respect too, she will trust you, she will respect you and she will listen to you. if you can't give her true love, she will feel it, and you better ask someone else to take care of her.

i really appreciate your courage and your patience that every day u take care of those many children and i think u need to give some time to each of them and try to understand as to what they want and dont want and try to convince them and slowly bring them to your line.

Hmm.. that is some problem you have there, I have just started working in a learning center, like an overall staff and a sub teacher, and I have been complaining about how the other kids behave and on some moments they just go overboard, and maybe it sounds a little harsh but out of desperation I started thinking why those kids act that way, is it because they are not being disciplined at home or that it's just the environment that they are in at school. But upon hearing your problem now I understand that I cannot blame it on the parents too, now I know that parents also go through that problem with their own children. And that is even more complicated because you are liable for your child's behavior. Maybe you really should try bringing her to see a child psychologist because it is not totally impossible that there might be something wrong if she's always like that and doesn't even listen to you. That's hard so maybe you would want to seek professional help on that. Hope everything turns out well for you and your daughter..

Have you tried dispensing small duties, chores suitable for her to do? She needs to feel both important and empowered after she has accomplished her tasks. You are there to guide, and allow for some errors, and praise and say thanks when she's done. Regardless of her current misbehaviors, which you will continue to get her to stop, you need to give her and all your kids plenty of hugs daily. Of course, never time your hugs too close to when she is misbehaving! That might send the wrong signal! that it's rewarding to misbehave! Bootcamp is a good idea. If she wants friends, she will find out that it's uncool to hurt others. You could help her to re-process the things that happened at camp, when she gets back, so she gets to re-think her own actions. You need to look at your own behavior too(pardon my asking), as you talk with her, whether you sound empowering or disempowering. Always ask open ended questions, like, "How did you enjoy ...? What was most fun? what was not? what did you do when this person said this to you? what would've been a better choice of action? ..." Never use too many "Don't...!" statements. Instead, say, "I don't like when you ...., it hurts her and it hurts me..."

Is it possible she could have oppositional defiance disorder? If you look up the symptoms for it and she has many of them--I'd contact a counselor or someone in that field. It sounds as if you have tried everything. If nothing is working--just keep trying other things. Don't give up on her!

Well Brittini is just testing your limits to see how far you can go.. I believe you should try some more serious punishments before you revert to boot camp. I Doubt counseling would work.

I am not yet married so i didnt come across this situation. If i come across i will surely discuss with you. So for the time i have no answers for your discussion.

I have to be honest i dont have any major advice because i am trying to figure out my own 10 year old. I think it is that stage where they are somewhat reaching puberty and i am finding out that the public schools have a lot of influences too. your'e not alone.

Well, I have a 10 year old boy. I have five kids total all boys ages 14, 10, 5, almost 3 and 6 months old. My 10 year old is definitely whiney and complains allll the time especially if asked to help around the house. He doesn't fight with his younger borothers tho but he will yell at them if they bother him. I do think taking away priviledges works best to discipline that age. I take away TV, computer/game system games and make him go to his room and he does NOT like that at all.

I wish I could offer you some advice, but I have the same problems here. My oldest is 12 now and has started her monthly thing. She was whiney before and always picks on her brother, but now that she gets her period I think she thinks it's a great excuse to get her out of trouble for the moodiness and sauciness. When she was smaller I use to put soap or tobasco sauce in her mouth for being mouthy, I think I'm going to soon have to bring this punishment back out. Hopefully it's just a phase they are going through.

Maybe you need to make a call to Super Nanny or Dr. Phil. I feel bad for you. It is bad enough to have bullies oin the neighborhood but in your house would really be hard.

My daughter is 11 and I know just how you feel. My husband works offshore and he's hardly ever home so it's just me. Shes almost as big as me and spanking isn't going to work so I got creative. If she smart mouths me she palys Cinderella for the next day ( I make a list of about twenty chores and make her do them all within a certain time limit) or if she complains about dinner or won't eat I allow her to throw it away but she gets no more food that night and no snack money the next day. Get creative with her and most importantly be consistent. If nothing else works trying rewards, make a chart and give her a star for everyday she does not fight with her siblings ( make each star worth a dollar and give her her money at the end of the week) Good luck and let me know how this works for you all kids are different just because it works with mine ,,, ah well you know.