affair
By aprilsue00
@aprilsue00 (1991)
United States
February 1, 2007 9:00pm CST
recently i had an affair with a married man who happens to be my husbands cousin. i felt guilty about this so i confessed everything to my husband. he confronted his cousin who denied everything. now my husband thinks that i am a liar and a little bit psycho. in the best interest of everyone i agreed that i had lied about it. now my husband is mad at me and obviousley so is his cousin. they still hang out together all the time. my question is should i tell my husband and give him proof that it happened or should i just let it go.
21 people like this
83 responses
@justiman (428)
• United States
2 Feb 07
Wow, what a story. This is a hard one to figure out for you I'm sure. It seems as though since you came out with the truth then you did what was right(after the fact of course). There is probably a whole lot more to the story than you are able to write about. Why did you cheat in the first place? Was the cousin just convenient and in the right place at the right time or was he sought out by you? How long did the affair go on? I hope you answer these because they are important questions in this matter. I will post again if you answer these.
4 people like this
@aprilsue00 (1991)
• United States
2 Feb 07
i am not really sure why i cheated in the first place it was convienant because his cousin is always around. The affair lasted for two months before i decided i couldn't do it anymore and told my husband.
@justiman (428)
• United States
2 Feb 07
Well if he didn't believe you, that is pretty sad. What reason would he have to not believe you? Has he told you in the past he believes you are psycho? Maybe he should be married to his cousin. No I believe you should insist that he believe you and get this thing out in the open and behind you. Not sure about your relationship with him but from the sounds of the situation it doesn't sound like he would divorce you over it. Maybe he is just in denial.
3 people like this
@aprilsue00 (1991)
• United States
2 Feb 07
thanks for the comment. i have proof that it happened so if i really wanted to i could make him believe me i just can't figure out if that is what i should do
1 person likes this
@mayshoe (606)
• India
2 Feb 07
Let it go...do you really understand what a relationship is....espicially married one...a single mistake can destroy the whole world of yours...and when ur hubby is not bothered why you want to explain live what happened clip by clip....you can do so......because you are the best judge and in best position...but i dont think anybody would do that .....just LET IT GO..........LET IT GO.......
3 people like this
@juliocstryfe (2019)
• Brazil
24 Mar 07
Lets see, I may have many flaws, but thankfully infidelity isnt one of them.
-JCM-
2 people like this
@mom2chriskel (1060)
• United States
2 Feb 07
Ummm...I sure hope that you NEVER practice psychology or psychiatry because that is the WORST advice. Do away with herself??
2 people like this
@im_theboss (384)
• India
7 Feb 07
d u wanna be called a psycho? no? then tell everything to ur husband. n i must admit, only if u have any strong proof abt what happened, then only let ur husband know abt all the stuff. else, dont. 'cos, if u dont have any proof, ur husband will simply send u to mental hospital. also admit before him why u agreed that nothing happened between u n his cousin.
2 people like this
@mnksmommy (301)
• United States
2 Feb 07
I think the real issue here is you husband believing his cousin over his wife. You came clean--that was all you could do. Personally, I could not let it go--but that is me. Do you have proof that it happened? Can you just let it go? It is obviously your choice. You have just got to decide what is more important. His cousin is the one who sounds insane. Good luck
@justiman (428)
• United States
3 Feb 07
It does seem the real issue is the cousin and the husband. And the cousin is insane. Somebody posted earlier how the two of them are family and you are "just a wife". Well if that is the case then since he is family, he is the worst one in this matter and you should really persue getting this fixed and the cousin needs to either own up to what he did or stay out of yalls immediate family. He sounds like a terrible person, especially if you have kids.
2 people like this
@quispy (572)
• United States
2 Feb 07
I happen to agree with you. Isn't there some little voice inside your husbands head nagging at him to find out the truth? Why would someone lie about having an affair? I could see lying to say you DIDN'T have an affair, but lying to say you did? The husband and cousin are the ones that sound pyscho to me.
2 people like this
@Piratesware (2888)
• Indonesia
16 Feb 07
well.. u make wrongnest than u maus be honest like it to accepted whhat u do.
@Perry2007 (2229)
• Philippines
9 Mar 07
There are times that men can't handle the truth... I remember jack nickel son, on the red code movie. But your husband and your cousin are one classic example of that. For the peace of all concerned let it go. Accept the the fact that we suffer consequences for our actions.
@rezaahmed (81)
• Bangladesh
16 Feb 07
I think,
First of all you are positioned as a liar and psychopathic which should be clarified at any cost as it may create other problems for you.
Then you may even prove about the lie of the cousin.
@hoghoney (3747)
• United States
16 Feb 07
Iam sure it has not hit your husband yet but Iam sure it will in time or if its not bothering him them maybe he is doing the same? It was wrong for you to do this. no matter what is going on in a marriage this should be the last thing to think of doing.
2 people like this
@king_rulz105 (114)
• India
3 Feb 07
My suggestion is to just let it go...why you have to create uneccesary confusion in the family...which will affect your happy life..falling into affair with someone is all common...just forget it
2 people like this
@goofy328 (15)
• United States
7 Feb 07
Just let it go. If your cousin is denying everything and your husband thinks your crazy for making up something like that why would go out of your way to break it off with him. If you don't want to be with him just stick to your story and break it off with him and keep it at that but if you're trying to stay with him and he doesn't want to believe you just let it go.
@Myrrdin (3599)
• Canada
7 Feb 07
Who says she is proud of it? Perhaps she is deeply ashamed and trying to work through it, sometimes the only way to do that is to talk thing through and try to solve it. And with an issue like this who does she have to turn to? Her family, would they understand? Her husband has already refused to acknowledge it. Her friends, sure but if she is ashamed, would she want to talk to them? Why not complete strangers on the internet? Seems like a logical place to do it, she can do so with complete honesty and expect a truely honest response from people with little to know emotional involvement in the issue. I think she came to exactly the right place to discuss it, but that's just me.
1 person likes this
@monikavash (20)
• Nepal
2 Feb 07
hey you did a very bad job.. if you were my wife i would had kicked you out,,, but your husband is a great man and he loves you a lot... but what did you gave him in return??
only betrayl.
now the god is punishing you by putting you in dellima....
well best of luck but i wont help you...
1 person likes this
@mixey62 (305)
• United States
2 Feb 07
Oh my goodness, I would not want to be a fly on the wall at your family gatherings! That sounds like a really rough situation. I would seak the help of someone outside. If you're uncomfortable with the idea of a therapist, then perhaps a trusted clergyman could help you with the descisions you have to make. Good luck.
2 people like this
@maildumpster (3815)
• United States
2 Feb 07
I say you should drop it! You confessed. He is choosing not to believe you. Work on rebuilding your relationship if you want to save it. Otherwise maybe it is time to think about whether or not you want to stay with your hubby.
I wish I could be of more help.
2 people like this
@Ashley2285 (11)
• United States
2 Feb 07
Let him think your psycho. He probably really does believe it, but he doesn't want to so he's in denial. Maybe you guys should get couseling. You obviously aren't happy if you are having an affair and he obviously has trust issues if he doesn't believe you. If you are happy with your relationship as it is, then look at it this way- you never have to worry about getting caught misbehaving because he probably won't believe you anyways!! Seriously though, do whatever you think would benefit your relationship more. Making him believe that you are unfaithful and not crazy or letting him think your a liar. Either way it's a tough decision.
2 people like this
