Is love enough?

Sounds like he is not holding up his end of the marriage, you guys are suppose to be a team. Help each other out when one of you is down an out. You need to let him know about how you feel about the situation and let him know you need his help. If he does not budge or change, you might want to seek counseling and move from there.

the children are the responsibility of both parents, he would get that pointed out to him harshly in divorce court. he should not have difficulty coughing up for basics like milk and bread. a car, i don't know cuz i don't know enough about the specifics of your situation, but he should gladly support for the kiddos.

no love isnt enough. some women love the men that beat them. its one thing to not buy me things, but you better drop some seriouse cash on our mutual child, what does he think the kids arnt his? his a D!CK if ya ask me.

I am the first to tell anyone to try and make your marriage work, but after 15 years... You and your kids deserve better than that. What kid of man would even fix his mouth and mind to be upset about having to give his wife money for the basic household necessaities. You are already under enough pressure trying to search for new job, worrying about not having money, and about to lose your car. Again, what kind of man is this that would allow his wife and children to suffer to the point that you might loose your car. He sounds selfish - and he probably has been this way through your marriage. Where is is love for you and family. If a man loves his wife and family, he will do his part and make sure that his families needs are met especially if he has the money. There are so many fathers and mothers who can't meet the needs of their families. Yet, it can meet your needs and refuses. Something is not right. You try and try to keep your marriage together, but remember it takes two - not just you. And what are your children learning from the way he treats their mother. It is good if he pays the bills - but you and your concerns you car etc.. are apart of those bills. He needs to respect you more and that is what will also make he a great father. Again, you deserve better treatment.

ohhh im sorry to hear this. I know a couple must be there always for each other.Thats why they are called partners.They are expected to be partners in problems, difficulties,and ups and downs of each other.iTS not good to hear that they are just partners in times of happiness. In your case i think you guys should set for a while and discuss all this things. Explain to him what you feel.Let him understand that you need his help in raising your kids and now that your down you need his full support. I will pray that you will be able to fix the problem you have.Good luck to you and wish you will find a good job soon. Keep praying,it really works :)

Sorry to hear about your story, i am very young and inexperienced to comment about this topic, what i can say is that i belive in living my life to the fullest, no boundaries , and no waiting. What i get from yourstory is that your husband is making his terietory, so let it be that way, try to convince him once more about your problem , more of about your true love. but if he cannot pay the in-due respect of your love then i belive you have the potential to take care of yourself and your children very comfortablly, use it.

If I was able to make that kind of money, I would want my wife to either stay home with the kids, or just get a part time job. But we both work 2 part time jobs, have 3 daughters, and a grandson living at home with us. Our oldest daughter works part time, goes to a community college part time, and we all help take care of her son, who is almost 9 months old. All of the money we make goes to provide for the entire family. And for the last month, we have been helping my wife's aunt, who had a mild stroke before christmas. After she got out of rehab, she stayed with us for 10 days, and went to arizona for 10 days to be with her sister. Now we are in the middle of trying to help her find a new apartment, which is closer to us, and finding a moving company to move all of her belongings. We have done all of this, because she is family. We haven't asked her to help pay for some of the things that we have had to pay for, like all of her medication, travelling expenses, or food. Although she has given us money here and there, most of it comes from what we make, and things are getting tight. So when I here that a man, who has a family, doesn't want to help out with the necessities to help out the family, then he has no business in having a family. He seems to be self-centered, and a non caring person. My wife and I are going to be celebrating our 20th wedding anniversary on valentines day, and even though things are tight, I still want to make it as nice as I can for her. This is only because we have gone through so much together in the last 20 years, and even the last month, that we need some time alone just to relax, no matter what the cost. I hope that one day, your husband will see that he is a lucky man to have a family, rathe than being alone.

This man isn't bright huh. 15 years of marriage, once you ever do file for a divorce, ouch. If I was you I would stop cleaning the house. If he says anything say, I'm sorry but I been out all day trying to get a job so your kids could eat. I'm amazed you put up with him. Seems like women are so easy to let the man walk all over them. Also tell him if you don't help me on my car payments, guess who will be taking the kids here and there, because it won't be me unless a car just pops out of the blue. You just have to put your foot down with this guy.

honey, i think you need to chck your relationship. i think that it is wrong that you husband is not there fo you and the children when you are down. is love enough to keep a relationship going? hell no. you need for better or worst, richer or poorer, love trust and pay my car payment!!!

Why doesn't your husband buy the milk and bread or the things the kids need? He should have been happy not to have to make a car payment. Tell him man up or get out. My husband only makes $11.00 a hour and we manage. He has no kids of his own but it takes care of mine like they were his own. I would sure hope he is not that contoling for everything. I think if you even had to ask this question then you know the answer.

Don't look for the same job that you had, it won't be easy to get nowadays. Get simple job like waitress or janitor, anything that makes money. With having kids, your life is difficult when only one person works. They say money is not everything, but it will buy you everything you need although not what you want. Sorry I think you should get whatever job there is just to get by.

It sounds like he has some power and trust issues. It's a shame that he's being so mysterious and controlling. You've done the best you can to take care of yourself until this point. What if he lost his job and couldn't get a new one? Would he expect you to take care of him if the tables were turned. If he won't even buy things his kids need, he needs a wake up call. These are his kids, you're his wife, you're supposed to be a family and families stick together through thick and thin. If money is all he cares about, would he even care if you were gone?

If you've been married that long and he won't even make a payment on your car, what is wrong with him?? I wouldn't appreciate the fact that he gets upset when you ask for money for some groceries either. That just doesn't make sense. I know I'm an independent woman and have been for a long time as a matter of fact I paid all the bills while I was in my last relationship because it was easier than asking him for anything. He used to get mad if I asked for money for diapers for his son, so I know where you're coming from. No, I don't think love is enough. I think if it isn't a partnership with each partner supporting the other over a rough spot then it's not a strong relationship at all. Just a thought.

It sounds like he is giving you a healthy dose of 'tough love'. I imagine that he'll be a little more helpful if you put in some effort to make your own way and can document every attempt you've made. Get off your butt and make something of your life!

I think your husband forgot what marriage means. He should cough up the dough right now since you don't have a job. Try looking for another job too.

True love is enough and it will show itself even in small acts. Saying I love a person is purely words and can never be enough, it must prove itself. Love in a relationship is translated into visible actions like teamwork, transparency, understanding and real concern for the well-being of the one we love. With all these in view, love is enough. Having said that, I would suggest that we should always keep communication lines open. There might be some reasons perhaps problems that our significant other is going through that makes him behave like he does. There is no substitute for a good communication in a healthy relationship. It works wonders. Cheers.

It is enough. People say that relationships are more complicated than that but I believe in my heart that if you truly love someone that all you need.

Uh hello?What is wrong with him?Getting mad because you ask for money to buy food....that's just going a bit far now.Those are his kids after all and he has just as much responsible for them as you do.In this case love would not be enough for me.....sounds to me like he doesn't even care about you at all.

dont worry be kind to him do something just to imprees him.everything wil be all right soon

I'm surprised after reading through the reponses that no one else has said it. He doesn't love you. Marriage is teamwork. There shouldn't be seperate accounts or who should pay what bill. What he is..is selfish. There's nothing you can do to change him. The only thing you can do is change yourself and keep your children from growing up believing that this is a normal relationship. He may not hit you, but there are other types of abuse. Emotional, Psychological, etc.. You should read the book "He's just not that into you". It will provide alot of insight into your "relationship" with this man. Please don't make excuses for the way he treats you. My guess is that you would not do that same to him if the shoe were on the opposite foot AND you should never ever settle for less than what you yourself would give. He clearly has no respect for you at all. With the limited amount of info you've given, my guess is he enjoys the power he has over you. He obviously has his own issues with self-esteem and by making you feel bad he is somehow making himself feel better. Basically, he's a bully. And the fact that you have put up with it for this long, means he's pretty darn effective at it. While he may not go to counseling, I strongly suggest that you do. Contact the local domestic violence center, they offer free counseling and emotional support. Remember that hitting someone is not the only form of abuse, it's simply the one that's easiest to see and accept. I don't preach divorce by any means, but the vows you took are not being upheld.