Having Crushes on Others Even if you are Committed and/or Married? Is this Right
By cuddleme01
@cuddleme01 (2725)
Philippines
February 3, 2007 12:18am CST
i admit, i still have crushes on other guys even if i have a boyfriend already. I can't stop admiring other people. Well, am only admiring. I see nothing wrong with. My heart still belongs to my man. I think it is normal to be amazed by other people's beauty. Everyone must have experienced what am talking about. You have a boyfriend and you see your old crush in high school and you still admire your old crush's physique and handsome looks. It's not wrong, as i perceive it. It's not cheating. It's part of human nature to admire beautiful things and creations.
Do you feel this way even if you are already committed or married? Do you think it is wrong? Do you feel guilty at all by having crushes on other people?
16 people like this
96 responses
@glowsinthedark (189)
• United States
3 Feb 07
Not at all, I think it's ridiculous to think that just because you are in a committed relationship that you will never be attracted to another person forever. It's human to feel attraction and get crushes, as long as you are truly faithful to your partner it doesn't matter. Crushes are fun and harmless as long as you know where to draw the line.
4 people like this
@cuddleme01 (2725)
• Philippines
3 Feb 07
Yes you are right glowsinthedark. Having crushes is okay, as long as we know our limitations. Thank you for the response.
1 person likes this
@xionous (439)
• Belgium
4 Feb 07
ya right. love is all about trust and if you or your spouse (or boy friend) trust eachother these crushes offcourse dont make any sence. i always have crushes when i c another hot girl. i admire their beauty too. but my heart never stops beating for my girl. whenever she is with me i dont find myself looking to anyother girl. its not like im affraid of her but i love her that much. sometimes we both admire handsome boys and hot girls. we do it to have fun. she gets crushed often on too. but i can feel deep inside her heart always bits for me. ya crushes are fun and harmless as long as you know where to draw the line.
@melody1011 (1663)
• India
3 Feb 07
Welll i guess it would be worse to have a crush and then act upon it especially when you are already committed to someone else. But if you just like looking at other guys, im sure thats ok cuase its not hurting anyone. If you want to do more than just looking i guess then its wrong .
1 person likes this
@shamilton712 (99)
• United States
3 Feb 07
I agree. I think it depends on whether there is more in your mind going on other than a simple attraction. If you find yourself fantasizing about the other guy, than I think that is unacceptable. In my book that would be considered cheating.
A simple crush doesn't hurt anyone, its whether your feelings/mind takes you beyond that.
@cuddleme01 (2725)
• Philippines
4 Feb 07
thank you melody. it is not right if you act on your feelings.
@ckloeckner (216)
• United States
3 Feb 07
i agree i have been in this position before and i think if you can determine in your mind whether or not this crush is interfering in your relationship youll realize wether or not it is innocent
@joshdale08 (2320)
• Philippines
4 Feb 07
it's but normal to feel attracted to another person other than your boyfriend or husband. we, human beings have been created to admire beauty of any kind. so, it's to be expected for husbands to turn their heads when a pretty girl passes by or for girlfriends to gush over a cute boy. personally, as i have told somenody else before in one of the discussions here, i don't get offended when mu hubby gets attracted to another. after all, he always comes "home" to me. he's allowed to look but not to touch.
@anne_143god (5387)
• Philippines
4 Feb 07
I dont think so it is right to admire other even you already married for that admiration can lead to cheating, if the situation will agree with both of them. A simple admiration if you cant stop it will lead to cheating so I would say that better not to admire other man for you not to commit cheating.
@julialaurene0206 (1262)
• Philippines
4 Feb 07
i do have crushes even im already committed, i just appriciate someone's good look, they way he dress up, but it doesnt mean im flirting around.
1 person likes this
@sneezeklenex (344)
• United States
4 Feb 07
I agree. I don't find anything wrong with admiring others as long as that is as far as it goes. I'm happily married and still admire people. He does the same. I don't feel guilty about having these "crushes" because that is all it is, and I am very happily married and his beauty oversees anyone elses.
1 person likes this
@Lydia1901 (16351)
• United States
2 Apr 07
I do not see anything wrong with admiring people and even have crushes on them. It is when a person will break up a relationship that they have just to be with those people, is where I draw a line.
@gaylordfocker615 (389)
• Philippines
3 Feb 07
in my opinion, it's quite normal to have crushes even if you are already married. As long as you don't act on your fantasy, there is nothing wrong with it.
@cuddleme01 (2725)
• Philippines
3 Feb 07
Yes, i believe so gaylord.As long as we do not act on our feelings, then it is okay, otherwise we are guilty of cheating to our partners.
@bonbon664 (3466)
• Canada
3 Feb 07
I don't feel guilty at all. I love my husband dearly. But, there's a guy here at work that is a real cutie. We flirt a little, it's harmless. I'm not doing anything wrong. I've never gone out alone with the guy, never said to him anything I would be afraid to tell my husband.
@cachekitten (463)
• Philippines
4 Feb 07
Well, i agree with you...Is not that bad to still have a crush to somebody else even if ur already committed..I think crush and love is different in nature..And crush is just a normal feelings..like what u have said that it is nature to admire beautiful things around you..So nothing wrong wiht it!
@rosie_123 (6113)
•
3 Feb 07
As I see it, there is nothing wrong with it at all. We are all human beings, and it is only natural that we find people attractive. Just because you are married, or in a long-term relationship, does not mean you are locked away in a box, and no longer enjoy your life, or see the things around you. Finging a film sar, or pop singer, or famous sports person atractive, is perfectly natural. You are probably never going to meet the people anyway in real ife, so no point in getting upset about it. It is a harmless and fun fantasy. Enjoy it!
@cuddleme01 (2725)
• Philippines
3 Feb 07
thank you so much rosie.Having crushes on someone is really harmless as long as you know your limits, and it is sure fun.heheeheh.
@fujin1985 (684)
• Philippines
4 Feb 07
There is nothing wrong with crushing on someone. Crushing is mere admiration of something. This shouldn't be a big deal for people in relationships.
@Bar3000 (57)
• Israel
3 Feb 07
Nothing wrong with it! It comes and goes or sometimes not... you cannot control who you fall in love with but what you can control is what you do with it. Having crashes on other people while in a relationship is perfectly ok as long as it stays in your head and doesn't became physical!
1 person likes this
@katan22 (325)
• Philippines
4 Feb 07
I think there is nothing on having a cruch on somebody else because for me crush is a lot different from love. Loving someone means that you like everything about him and that he owns you're heart while in crush, you just admire the person in a certain aspect. My friend has a bf and she still has crushes on somebody else and he knows about it. He si not mad or something because he is assured by my friend that she loves only him.
1 person likes this
@bonnielass (484)
• United States
4 Feb 07
My very smart aunt who just passed away last march at the good age of 83. Used to tell me that even when she pass her old boe to this day after she been married for god knows how long and children in there 40's her heart still jumps...her explaination. If you ever really cared about somebody that way. It never goes away, no matter what there will always be a tiny flame. That its ok and natural. As long as it stays that way too :)
@katisaurus (1038)
• Canada
4 Feb 07
I don't see anything wrong with it at all. attraction is what makes up a lot of our lives. That's how we find our friends, loved ones. Since I've been with my boy I haven't really had crushes.. I've found other guys attractive, but it's never really been any more than "oh, he's cute" or something.. That's part of life though.. It's not there's a switch you can just flick off once you're in a relationship.
@cwgrlsarefun (1581)
• United States
4 Feb 07
I think that it is only natural to continue to have crushes even after you are with someone else. If you see someone that you like or are attracted to them you can not just turn that feeling off because you are with someone. I think that if it were wrong for people to be this way then we would not be capable of likeing what we see or even feeling attracted to someone after we were with someone else. They would somehow find a way to turn all that stuff off in us if we were not supposed to feel that way anymore.
@dopey22girl (3319)
• United States
4 Feb 07
I don't think it's wrong, but it doesn't stop me from feeling guilty. But it happens to me with every guy I go out with. Some people say it's because you're not happy with who you're with, but I disagree. I think, like you do, that it is human nature. The only time you should feel guilty about it is if you go to the next step in either flirting with the person or going out with them or something. Then it is bordering on cheating, and that is wrong. But thoughts are definitely not wrong.
