Are the online-dating sites full of lies ?
By akumei1269
@akumei1269 (1749)
India
February 3, 2007 9:40am CST
Online dating is too popular now a days . But equally popular is reliance on falsehood in them . Perhaps the daters know this and yet they join them . Is it a fun then ? Or are everybody serious about their online dates ? Is there any rationale behind these lies ?
The findings of researches conducted by a number of social scientists suggests that the percentage of liars in online dating sites is as high as 90. Age , appearance , height , educational level , income level and weight are the parameters where most of the lies are told . While male are more prone to provide false statement about their height , education level and income level , weight and appearance are the major false factors in case of female online daters . The magnitude of variance of the revealed information from factual figures differs from attribute to attribute and also this variance increases with age . While the height figure differs by one inch , that regarding weight varies is larger quantity .They exaggerate weight by five pounds when they are in their 20s, 17 pounds in their 30s and 19 pounds in their 40s.
Why won’t the daters lie ? First of all why should one tell the truth about one’s height to a unknown person ? Moreover , false statement helps achieving the goal .One recent study showed that men claiming incomes exceeding $250,000 got 151 percent more replies than men claiming incomes less than $50,000, for example. Many women are quite open about listing much younger ages, often stating in the text of their profiles that they have listed a younger age to make sure they turn up in searches. (Because men often use age cutoffs in their searches, women who list ages above that cutoff will never be seen.)
Having known these , would you continue to depend on dating sites for finding your soul mate ?
6 people like this
24 responses
@monkeywriter (2004)
• United States
4 Feb 07
I DONT want rely on any dating sites to find my soul mate. I dont believe in them. However heres some interesting stuff. Eharmony looks like it works really well and IF I had the $50. for 6 months I might actually use it. Its interesting.
Here is a fact. I have a friend from high school. She met her now husband on a christian chat room. I dont know if you call this the same thing... they met up in person and dated for 3 years, they will have been married 4 years this coming August. So that worked for them.
This reminds me. A guy friend that I dont think of as a close friend. But anyways. He decided to tell me cause I express I do want to get married sometime, I should try one of the sites out cause he has gone on SEVERAL dates and it turned out fine. I didnt see if it was his business at all to talk about that. I brushed it off with joking remarks. I told my best friend, and she said that she has had friends who used sites and it turned out bad.
So from all that ALONE before you made your statement, I dont think I would go on one except maybe eHarmony. Thats it though. And thats a MAYBE.
@alienstar (5142)
• India
4 Feb 07
Yes, you are aboslutely right in this case and eventhough you cannot put 100% into people lying in dating sites as there are people who are genuine and don't lie on here.But these kind of people may be less as you said.I had never been to dating sites till now and wouldn't like to visit anytime as i am not taht comfortable in these kind of sites for sure...
@jbrooks0127 (2324)
• United States
4 Feb 07
Well we all like to put on a good face when trying to attract. However it all depends on what you are there for. If you lie about important things you will be caught up wioth sooner or later. If 90% of people lie about themselves the chance of finding thier soulmate is conciderably reduced.
For the most part it is a game much like in real life. When you first meet you truly have no idea what or who you may be talking to. One thing to pay attention to, is in understanding none of us are perfect, if someone seems to be in every way there has to be a problem.
My son did this a long time ago and met a women that seemed perfect. Bueatiful...articulate...and she seemed to really like him. The problem arose when my daughter saw the picture. She said, I know that face. She soon remembered that she was an actress. Of course when my son ask about this the deal was off.
I on the other hand used a dating service following my breakup with my first wife.
I talked to many women but found one close. After months of real dating we were married and still are after 4 years.
It can work but you just have to use it as the tool it is. Some people fly across country to meet someone they know nothing about. That is a problem and they are truly setting themselves up. During the time I was doing this a man was on tril in the city I was in for getting women to come across country with a promise of a job. He then killed them. At the time it was a big story and I am amazed that anyone would talk to me. His and my first name were the same. But they did and i tried my best to be as honest as I could about myself. But you are right that does limit your responses. Damb shame.
@cabergren (1181)
• United States
4 Feb 07
I know what you mean about lying about on dating services. I used the service and found quite a few men that lied about themselves. But I also found men that didn't lie about themselves. I actually met my husband on match.com. And he didn't lie about himself. He is probably the most honest person I have ever met. So as you said people do lie, but not all people lie. There are still some honest people out there. And I believe you can find them.
@vijay62 (22)
• India
4 Feb 07
Every one wants to do business. On line dating sites are also one of them, Unless you get a genuine site don't involve in other sites. There is fake information about the people. Tried one or two sites, with not much outcome.
@cyntrow (8523)
• United States
4 Feb 07
Thank God I've never had to do it. But I don't think it could be any different than the lying levels at the bars. Perhaps the physical attributes; but even in the bars women stuff their bras and me wear toupees, so they hide their physical appearance there as well. I was on a recent "girls weekend." We are all married with children and we went to a bar. Every guy who approached us, of course had to move on. But they all claimed to be doctors or lawyers or movie directors. LOL. IN the dating world, you have to weed out the idiots from the real people. the same is true online and off.
@maru_047in (1007)
• India
4 Feb 07
Yes you are right all the online dating is 90% fake and might be 10% real so i think it is better to be off with this kind of relationship. It is a tough task to be in like in such websites cause they drag into so many bad things.
@uu4h708 (638)
• Philippines
4 Feb 07
now to answer your question... why not... finding your soul mate doesnt mean you have to walk and look for that special someone.. it will happen if it destined to happen... if your soul mate is one of those people looking for dates or friends in an online thingy then why not.... search until you cant search no more... or better yet... you really dont have to spend your life waiting or searching for that soul mate of yours.. its much better that you just suddenly woke up and pop! there he is..
@uu4h708 (638)
• Philippines
4 Feb 07
people like to lie so they'll get those things they are not getting when they the opposite... it's a battle between reality and fantasy... but most of the times, they lie so someone might take a look at them, coz the study is correct, most searches really do have some quality cutoffs, and so to be noticed, searchees will go with the most usually search for... just to have one good look, then the rest will be history.. it's like chatting at YM and having eye-ball with someone you might talking with for so long now.. at first you might say im like this and that.. but when the inevitable eyeball comes, the other person will think and see that you're description about yourself is not actually true... that only the physical aspect, but as for the secret part like financial income, profession etc... it will all depend if both party will indulge in a life full of lie or be open, honest and true and let love (or whatever they are feeling) decide on their fate...
@michelledarcy (5220)
•
4 Feb 07
I have been out with a few guys from dating sites and have found them to be nice. I guess we all like to make ourselves sound better than we are and thats why we do a few little lies on them.
I would keep trying it is possible to find love through them.
@kgwat70 (13388)
• United States
4 Feb 07
It does seem that there are a lot of liars on these dating sites as I have encountered many myself and got burned a couple of times. As far as a guy is concerned, there are a lot of people online that live in Russia claim to be looking for a special someone but in reality they are just looking to make money off of you. They beg for you to send them money and they promise they will come to you. Once you send them the money, you never hear from them again. I do not use these dating sites anymore.
@magdollars23 (1685)
• United States
4 Feb 07
To me online dating is no different that any other method of dating. I would more closesly associate it to blind dating though because even if you see a picture of someone you dont know if it is real, you dont know how recent and there are other factors.
@pandeydeependra (611)
• India
4 Feb 07
we can not blame to all bcoz few of them are reliable.but 70% are having a base of lie . mostly they chatted for entertaintment in a minimal charges. they lost their their honest as a name of entertaintment
@abhishekkaushik (327)
• India
4 Feb 07
The first one is relatively harmless but the most common. It is created by the average person quickly just to gain access to the site by using a free trial membership. They use these memberships to check out what the dating site has to offer them. The profile usually contain minimal information and one word answers. This makes them fairly easy to spot and thus can be avoided. Almost always these profiles are without photo's. Since they are easy to spot you would think that the dating sites would remove them rather quickly. This is not always the case, since they can use these profiles to inflate their numbers of how many members they have.
@stateroad (730)
• United States
4 Feb 07
I believe in the dating services that are on line. The thing that I cannot believe in is the people on the dating services. Sometimes people will make you believe in something they are not. It is the people who have joined the dating service that commits the lie. I have seen and heard about some very precise dating services who really try to screen the people who join the service.
