HELP! Not sure how to handle this problem ~ "F" Word Scratched into my table!

I don't think you will ever be able to find out who really did it but I think you should talk to his parents and tell them that he was over and that your table had the F word in it when he left. I would also give your kids a punishment b/c even if they didn't do it, they were probably around when it happened. At least that's what I would do if I were in your situation. I'm so sorry that happened to you. I would be more than angry.

You should remain calm. Have all three, the boy and your kids sit down close to the table. Tell them I don't know who did it, or do I don't know why you did it. But til the one that did it admits to it. All of you are going to sand and polish this word out of my table. Or it will be a cold day before you will get to do anything fun. You can also explain that whoever admits to actually doing this, it will stay in that room. That nobody else will know about it. Good Luck with fixing your table.

Do this only if you think the kid will not lash out violently. Don't ask him if he did it. Tell him he did it. He will admit to it. If you ask he'll say no. Once he admits to it, have him fix the table. Let him strip it, sand it, and revarnish it. While he is doing this, praise his work. Let him know that he is doing a great job. He will feel proud of something in his life. Once he has finished, suggest that he would make a great carpenter or something like that. Give him a purpose. Most angry kids are that way for a reason and being kids, they need a reason to change their attitudes. Like I said, only try this if you think he's not violent, otherwise it isn't worth it.

Oh man. I'd be ticked off! Since I'm so far behind I am just getting to this. Did you mention it to his parents? Or even him, face to face? I'm not sure if there is some kind of filler you can use to help fill in the scratch or not. :( I think he would be grounded from my house for a while, that's for sure.

Child is still a "child", so treat them as a child ,same as what you treat people of the similar age.It look like the boys is relatively having quite close relationship with you & your family ,so why dont you just ask him & give him a little advise. If needed just tell his parents about this if you need to claim for that damage...It's easy i think unless if his parents are both irresponsible one !.. :

ouch... i'm not sure what there is that you can really do about it.. unless he's the type who would actually admit to doing it when questioned.. but chances are he'll just deny it and be proud that he pulled one over on you.. can the table be fixed? like maybe sit the suspected one down with your children and tell them that you can't prove who did it so your going to make all of them refinish or sand or whatever it would take to take the word off the table.. and make a point of letting them all know how hurtful it was for it to happen to you.. especially since you've gone out of your way to accept him into your house and into your family...

you first try again to ask your children and ask what kind of friends they have especially the one you have suspected of...then try talking to the concern in a nice way..so that he wont be mad also..try reverse psychology..how old is the boy??it varies on the age how you handle the talking...

I don't know if this helps, but you can probably grab something sharp and turn it into the word "EOOK"! ;)

I think you will probably need to get some professional help to polish out the cuss word, unless you have wood polishing skills you may well do more harm than good .. once it's been properly polished and revarnished I doubt you'll be able to see where the word was .. only problem is it's going to cost a fair bit of money to get sorted ..

I am a bit confused with what you are saying..but I will try my best to answer you as best as I could. First of all if you heard someone say the F word in your table and don't know who it is...Tell your kids that you do not want to hear that word explain to them that it is a bad word and shouldn't be used at all. Explain this in front of their friend also who has been with them when this happened. Tell them that people who say this word is not respectful..

The biggest problem is that you really don't know who did it. You may suspect this boy and you may be right, but you do not know for sure and can not prove it. If he denies it, and that is likely, then you are back at square one.. How many kids have access to your home when you are not there? I say this because you stated that you do not know if he went home or not when you took your son to the doctor and you wonder if he did it then. Personally, I would tell my kids, no one comes over when I am not home AND then I would make it a point to let all their friends that do come over know that now they will all have to be supervised like babies because you trusted them and someone betrayed that trust by disrespecting your things. Also, you said you grilled your sons and believe that they did not do it, but did you grill them about if they knew who did?? And lastly..try contacting the manufacturer of your coffee table or one of similar type furniture to see how it can be repaired, hopefully it is possible to repair it or at least remove it somehow.... keeping in mind that it was scratched into the surface also tells me that it took a little bit of time to accomplish..at least 15 or 20 minutes, depending on the tool used.. so think about who would be sitting there and bored enough to do that while passing time..might give you a clue.. Good Luck... But until I knew who it was, I would have to punish the whole barrel... and most of the kids parents would likely think that your boys did it and you are in denial.. that is why I think it best that unless u have an eye witness to the event, it is better to just cut out the possibility of it happening again, or worse... which is why I would go with the idea of no one over unless I was there, and they would ALL have to stay in my line of vision for awhile.. something to ponder though... if kids really like to hang out at your house, you might want to consider stopping anyone from being permitted inside until you find out who did it.... now, the guilty party is not likely to admit it still...but the others might rat him out so that they get their "hang out" place back... or he might confess to someone else and it get back to your sons...who would be likely to inform you if it means that is the only way they will get to start having friends over... something to think about anyway... good luck to you...

why dont you tell your boys to ask him? its better as they are friends and so they will not feel bad about it nor will the gut coz you are not the one asking him....... tell your boys to speak to him on a friend to friend basis...so that he will understand

if you suspect its this certain boy,but have no proof, there is nothing wrong with you making a decision to not allow him back in to your home again. he'll know why. if you want to continue to let him play with your son, then i'd make a rule to him that the boy is NOT allowed in the house again, no exceptions. if you end up getting the truth out of someone, i'd go straight to the parents and explain to them that he's not allowed back, they have to pay for it, etc, whatever you decide. maybe you can contact the company who made the table and see what their suggestions are on repairing it.

I think I would pretend I didn't have a clue who did it. A table, no matter how expensive, is not worth taking the risk of falsely accusing someone, or driving a child who already feels that the world is against him into even worse behavior. Next time the same group of boys get together at your house, tell them that someone has marked up your table and you were wondering if they would mind helping your husband re-surface it. Then fix some refreshments and tell them how much you appreciate their help. Accusing someone without positive proof will end up with nothing but denials and hard feelings. If they find themselves still part of the group and experience the feeling of pride in "fixing" your table for you, maybe you will have turned them away from this type of behavior in the future. Save the punishment for times when you can prove who the guilty party is. You might really be in for a surprise.

well, i think you should get your son to find out which one did the carving. tell him if he doesn't figure it out and tell you that he will have to be the one to pay for the table because they are his friends take it out of his allowences or make him get an after school job to pay for the damages. (most likely he'll find out who did it then) when you find out for sure. confront the parents of the child and have them confirm this fact and say that their son needs to pay in some way for the table if the parents want to pay for the damages themselves or have him work it off in some way is up to them. but the parents of the child should be notified. they are the ones who should be dealing with any ager issues that the child has. obviously he had no respect for someone elses proporty and this should be taken care of before it gets any worse.

I would question the kids if it was this boy or not?! and if they are not 100% sure, then ask the boy. and then let him know that his angry behavior and his damaging your property will not be tolerated.. maybe his parents deal with it but you dont have to. and you sure dont want his behaviour rubbing off on your son's. if he damaged anything of yours he should be held responsible for it. no matter what issues he has, it doesnt matter. what is his next move? what will he do or destroy next? this kid needs a good talking to and you should probably speak with the parents about it..let them know (if he did) that he has damaged property at your house and that he has anger issues and he has shown anger at your house. they need to get this kid some help. but he also needs to learn he cant just disrespect other peoples property.. and that if he does, there are consequenses.. if you let everything slide, he will just continue to trample over you.. if my son's friends come over here acting disrespectful or acting like they have a problem because its time to go, you better believe I am gonna let them know never to step foot at my house again unless they learn some manners. kids like to act like who they hang around with, that would be a shame to see his behaviour rub off on them..

I know it may sound extreme, but I would have all of my sons' friends over at the same time. Once they were assembled, I would place the table in the room that they are assembled in. At this point, I would tell the group how betrayed you feel. I would tell them all that is on your heart...how each of them have always been welcomed into your home and treated as part of the family. AFter I finished my spiel, I would say, I want to know who did this. I am not asking that anyone embarrass themselves by saying they did this aloud. I am going to give you each a piece of paper and I want you to write what you know about the table. I would further tell them that the consequence will only be to sit and talk with me further (in private ) about what issues led the offender to deface the table. I would also add that you will not tell any of the others who did it. Tell them that it bothers you that badly, that somehow you have hurt them or whatever so much that they wanted to hurt you through the table. Tell them that should no one confess, then you don't feel comfortable having ANY of them in your home again, as you don't know what might be next. When you take the papers back, (I would read them right there)if someone has confessed, say, "you boys are all free to go. I will be in touch." Surely, someone will come forward! (or spill the beans). I

Well, I think would have all of your kids friends come and sit right around the coffee table and let them know A. How much it cost, B- Make them find a solution as to how the table can fixed (BTW- Go to your Home Depot or Lowes and ask them for scratch remover and try buffing it out). If they sit there like a bunch of dummies, you can tell them all that until they tell you who did this and why, they all stay home and none of them are welcome in your house again.

hah this reminds me of how everyone would leave their mark on one of our friends table with a sharpie before he got a new 1 because 2 drunk girls broke it . i dont think the cord should be a problem because just think, there going to learn it sooner or later. if you really dont want them to see it you could maybe put a bunch of stuff on the table. or maybe u could scratch it out. if bad comes to worse then just get a new table and ask the person who carved it in to help pay for it. best of luck with it though ^-^

wow that's a hard one. if you think you know the child who did it i would call their parents to see if they can find out if it was really their kid who did it. then hopefully their parents would make him apalogize and make it up to you some how.