Does your teenager act different around their friends?

The reason they act differently is about their social status, they want to their friends to see him as being cool and alway s in charge. And the parents are the perfect target for this. Embarrassment is a good form of punishment, i would sit down with him and be firm and tell him I am your mother, and as long as you areunder my room you will obey my rules and respect me, if not starting taking things that are precious to him, like cell, internet, allowances. Also be loving to him in the process, let him know you do this because u love him so much and wnat him to succed in life. Good Luck

I agree with your method. I have found that my twelve year old does the same thing. I don't know if she thinks it makes her look more "cool" or what, but there is no excuse for this kind of behaviour. And although you may have embarassed him, maybe this time it will stick with him that he can't treat you this way when his friends are around.

I am 24 now and when I was a teen I acted different around my friends they when I was around my mom, but I still acted the same around my mom when my friends were over. My friends allways asked me about it and I told them that I have my friend personality and my mom personality, pretty much meaning I had to respect my mom no matter what. Most kids are not like that, they act more like your son, I think it's just a teenage thing and it's going to be hard to get him to stop, but you need to keep trying, it's not a good attitude to have.

First of all, I don't think it is just the teenagers. My 8 year old daughter gets an attitude everytime she goes and hangs out with her cousin. It drives me insane, and because of it, I regulate how often they see each other. My neice, who will probably disagree with me, also has a friend who transfer her attitude. IT drives us nuts. She gets so loud and disrespectful when she hangs out with this particular friend. I think it has to do with acceptance. I mean sometimes it can take many years to decide what type of person you are going to be and then to be comfortable enough with that decission to let your friends know that this is who you are and if they can't except it then they don't have to stick around. In your situation I would have asked the firend to leave and then had a talk with my son about the behavior, and then tell him that he is grounded and he wont be allowed to se this friend unless he learns how to not get the attitude. It is a hard situation because kids will generally do the opposite of what you tell them, but as a parent you have to stand your ground. I wouldn't allow this friend over at my house either. It is an everchanging thing, being a parent, and it is hard when you have to keep coming up with new ideas to address the same issues, but that is what being a parent is all about. As long as you make sure your son knows that you love him, and you want what is best for him, and you want him to grow up to be a respectful person, I think you will be okay.

Teenagers-- My tween is the same way- She doesn't mouth back to me-- But she is different- Some friends bring out the worse in her- while others she is still the sweet girl I know and love. She is 10.. When she starts acting bossy or "godlike" when certain friends are over- I quickly put a stop to it- I cannto stand it either- I know kids act different around friends than they do us (parents) I know I did-- but disrespect and mouthiness is not tolerated. I hope your son see's you mean business and starts acting right! Good luck!

most teenagers act different around their friends to try and make them see that they are in control especially when a parent is present i never did it myself though i never had friends round my house when i was a teenager but i see it happening all the time. our kids swear i know it they dont do it in front of us but they do in front of their friends.

I think you'll find that he's just being a teenager. The person who said ban him from seeing his friends is totally wrong. You will just make him more angry. You shouldn't have tried to show him up like that either. You will just turn him more against you. You need to step back and eventually he will see how he is behaving. The majority of teenagers go through this phase to don't worry about it.

I think teen agers really act differently nowadays. I think it's right giving discipline to your child but in a proper way.

i think your son has no character!! i dont think wat you did was wrong! your son should know his mother is more important than any friend! make him understand that you feel hurt when he talks to you like that. ask him if hes ashamed of u!

I think you had every right to do that. We are going thru the same thing at our house. Except the attitude lasts for a couple hours after they leave also.

well im 17 so i have no kids but i know for a fact that my 15 year old brother acts differently around his friends. when its just me and him hees always asking me for help on everything, which really gets anoying. but then when he and i are with his friends he calls me retarded and a nerd. i wanna punch his coucky additude in the face and i think im really close to doing it...

yaa i abserve many times this in my life and my friends life also.

The persons who r having lot of friends they should act depends upon place,persons,situations,and relations.it is not a matter.

Mostly all teenagers these days do it. How would I know? I do it. My parents are very strict with language, but when I'm not near them and with friends I'm like any other teenager out there, a whole lot different. I would just ignore it if i here it, because telling him about it doesn't do much more than annoy him.

You totaly did the right thing. You have already talked to him about his behavour and now it's time for action. he was being rude even though he knew the boundries. When he was being a disrespective backmouthing cool guy he was embarassing you. His friend was probably embarassed for his behavour as well. Teens like to push the boundries and he surly was. Sometimes you have to get drastic for them to hear you. congratulations for bringing him one step closer to being a man.

Wow your teen must think his alot better than you, i think you showed em good and what he deserved. YOU GO MOM!!!

I think you have done the right thing. I think teenagers are cool not when they backtalked or behave rudely, but when they can behave normal and just like an adult. Sometimes teenagers just feel as if following their parents, or be nice to people, or polite or anything like that seems uncool in front of their friends and they are afraid that they may be rejected. But, what they need to realize is that it is not a right thing to do to be rude to people or anything like that to just look cool in front of friends. Instead what you did today, taught your son that he needs to maintain politeness, and that he needs to stay strong for who he is, not for what his friends wants him to do. Good on you :)

my daughter does the same I just remind her that I am still the mom and she needs to listen usually she knows when I say that that she is about to grouned if she keeps it up but she is a funny child anyway she's 13 and still has to be tucked in every night (unless her friends are here of course) there is nothing wrong with embarassing your kid in front his friends as long as it's not all the time it also teaches is friends the bounderies of your home

I know the feeling your teen must harbour, he feels that, in order to impress his pals, he has to act all tough and defiant. It is a passing phase. The reason your teen does this is because he might feel a wee bit embarassed that his mother is around his friends. (Don't feel bad, it's only natural) I am a teenager,during the earlier stages of getting to know my friends, I was slightly embarassed about having my friends around my parents as well. At that age, I viewed my parents and friends as totally separate beings, which were never, ever supposed to intermingle. I realised, as i grew older, that, the better my friends knew my parents, the less pressured I was to feel all 'cool' in front of them My suggestion would be to get to know your sons friends, to a point where they are comfortable with you. This would make it a lot easier to communicate with them, and your son would not feel any pressure to look 'cool' in front of his friends. I was born, bred and raised in an Indian family, which held very strict easternly views. I was educated with the cane(and the occasional belt, coat hanger, backscratcher, and ladle). As such, I have been always taught to be respectful to my parents and elders. (Talking back constituted answering a question in a tone that is slightly high, and seeming angry). So, maybe western methods of discipline are different, but, as they say, spare the rod, spoil the child! Good luck! (PS I;m 18, and I still get the occasional smacking and belting! But it's OK, as I know my parents love me, and would not be doing so if they did'nt)

In a word YES. My daughter is just like that. I have also talked to her till I'm blue. I don't think they are doing it intentionally. Rather I think they just want acceptance and at that age friends mean much more than parents. I am not saying it is right just why I think it happens. Maybe you need to come up with a signal or signal word that you can use to let him know when he is overstepping his bounds. Let him know he gets x number of warnings and then he is grounded. This way he doesn't get embarrassed. Sadly I am sure he will hear about what happened from his friends and that just makes things worse. Good luck. Wish I had better answers..... why don't these kids come with instructions???