Do You Ever Feel You Are Not Good Enough?

Dearest wolfie, well it is true I only "now" you from here at MyLot, but you always strike me as a very intelligent, thoughtful, humourous, and interesting human being. Anyone should be proud to be your friend, and you must not think badly of yourself. I know you are umemployed, and I also know that can sometimes lead some people to have feelings parentsd bought me up to believe that everyone is equal in this world, and everyone has something good and positive to offer. You may not be beter than anyone else, but no one is better than you wither. You see to have so much to give. So please don't be sad, and believe in your good, and positive qualities.

You know many people feel this way, including myself at times, and its too bad because you will never really know if someone would be interested in you unless you try. If they turn you down, oh well, you must not be meant to be with them. I realize its easier said then done, but I would rather know for sure then always wonder. Life and love are about taking chances and risks. You probably have more to offer then you think. I am sure there are some qualities that you like about yourself, try and focus on them instead of focusing on what you think you lack. I am willing to bet that you are a great person and I hope you try and take some chances once and a while.

Sure I do! But I also have a partner that also makes me feel like I am not good enough. So, that is probably my problem. If I actually was with someone that boosted my self confidence instead of tear it down, then maybe I wouldn't think that way. But having to raise seven children is a tough job. And I know that I also would not be good enough because no one would want to date a woman that has that much responsibility. Sure, some might say that they wouldn't have a problem with it...but I am realistic. So, yes, I do often feel that I am not good enough. Who knows, maybe one day I will feel the opposite. And just for the record Wolfie, you are such a sweet person, I have no clue who would tell you that you are not good enough. You should give yourself more credit! You look like a nice clean cut guy...and your heart seems so huge. So, the next time you feel that you are not good enough, tell yourself that you are. Because you are good enough and then some. :)

We've all been there. Keep your chin up high and believe in yourself. You'll get some breaks if you tough it out some. Remember that those who knock you down do so to get you feedback on how you need to improve. Remember that great song by Chumba Wamba called "Tubthumping"??? The lyric goes: "I get knocked down, but I get up again, no one's ever going to keep me down..."

I did feel this way earlier in life. Now, it really doesn't matter. I am more on the shy side, but realize that if I don't take some risks, life isn't going to be very exciting. Your self-esteem probably became ingrained into your mind at an early age. In truth, those feelings are not even yours, but something you have picked up and started believing in. You don't have to accept them anymore. Go ahead and step forward and try on new realtionships with whom ever. Even if it seems impossible because you don't feel worthy. And so what if they don't look twice? At some point, there will be someone who will and that will be a great experience. Who cares about the person that rejects you? Look past the rejection and keep trying to create the relationship you want with the person you want. If you never make the attempt, you can never be sure of the results. Go for it and gain valuable experience in knowing yourself and ridding yourself of your lack of self-esteem.

I do feel it once in a while but not always.Its natural to feel so and u can't get over that until u urself make ur image better in ur own eyes.SO that is the starting u can do,because low self esteem is very dangerous to one's life.U gotta get outta of that trap.

Welcome to my world. I feel like that everyday I get up in the morning. I have people tell me how great i am and how nice and all that stuff, but I just can't accept it. I think they just say that because they are my friends. Why do I have such good friends? i sometimes wonder about that myself. I sometimes ownder why they would even want to be my friends, like if they are just because we were friends in highschool and have known eachother for so long. Kind of a fimiliar thing. To answer you original question though yes, I feel that way everyday.

I think nearly everyone feels that way at one point or other. The best thing to do is focus on all the good qualities you have to offer, and if someone snubs you it's their loss..:)

I think anyone that tells you they've never questioned if they were "good enough" would be a liar. We all have moments where we wonder "why would they want to be with me?" or something BUT you have to realize that YOU are worth being with and are so unique in your own way. And you will never KNOW if they would like being with you until you speak up. If they're someone worth knowing, it doesn't matter what they think of you on the outside, it matters what they think of YOU from the inside. Don't underestimate yourself Wolfie. You are a very unique person and nobody is like you. You've been created that way for a reason so enjoy your own self and realize how special you are. Unlike anybody else in this world. Why would someone NOT want to at least experience your friendship and personality?

Yes, often .. !! Let's face it .. I am not model shaped, I am not rich, I am not very attractive, and I have several disabilities .. who in their right minds would look at me twice .. well they might .. but only because they couldn't believe I was that awful they first time they'd looked hehehe !! And if they do look again I am inclined to think they are feeling sorry for me .. sigh .. I have far too many insecurities and low self esteem to ever believe anyone would like me these days ! You on the other hand .. are not a bad looking chap .. so hold you head high and be proud of who you are :o)

I can see that you have a crush on someone who doesn't even know you exist. The thing is a lot of people love to see someone with self-confidence, although over confidence is a different story. It is human nature to seek out the bold and the confident out of the many potential partners. That's a fact and we cannot change that social norm within our lifetime. What we can change though is ourselves. The first thing you should do is to believe in yourself, cause how would anybody believe in you if you yourself won't believe in you. Next, you bank on the qualities that you have; on those talents that make you a unique person. If you know piano or violin then don't try to be a rocker just to impress somebody. Be yourself, for all you know the person you are trying to impress might not be the right one for you. Maybe somebody else is watching you. So don't invest so much on someone who doesn't even care. Just simply build your own self-esteem by doing things you can be proud of yourself and you'll never know when everybody seems interested in you.

Yes I have done and still do at times, Then I have to give myself a good talking to and say something like... Feeling good about yourself is important as it gives you a sense of control over your life, helps you feel satisfied in your relationships, allows you to set realistic expectations for yourself, and enables you to pursue your own goals. Feeling badly about yourself, on the other hand, contributes to a distorted view of yourself, a lack of self-confidence, poor performance, and unhappiness. No single event or person can determine your level of self esteem. It develops over time, constantly changing with experiences. Your level of self esteem is based upon the unique experiences and personal relationships that have made up your life. Whereas positive and fulfilling relationships help raise your self esteem, negative experiences and troubled relationships tend to lower it. Experiences within your family, at school, or within a relationship all effect your self esteem. For example, if your family always compared you to others or being unhappy in school, especially if criticised or bullied by classmates or teachers, can also negatively affect self esteem as it may leave you feeling incompetent in comparison to others. A relationship ending badly can make you think you will never love again... but you will, given time. Since low self-esteem is a result of negative thoughts and feelings, it is important to try to alter how you think and feel about yourself. Think about all the good things and don't dwell on the bad. You can begin by accepting that you are certainly not alone. Masses of people have this problem. Secondly, you can take on board a very important fact, which is that you are a wonderful, individual and special person — and there is no one quite like you. Your fingerprints and your DNA are totally different from everybody else's — unless you happen to have an identical twin. And your mind — and how it thinks and operates — is absolutely your own. This means that out of six billion people in the world, you are a one-off. So if nature has bothered to make you utterly unique, don't you feel that you should accept that you're important, and that you have as much right as anyone else to be on this planet? You have other rights too. One of them is the right to make mistakes. Don't forget that 'to err is human' and most of us do much of our learning through getting things wrong before we get them right. Furthermore, we have the right to respect ourselves — and to be respected: this is very important. And finally — and perhaps most vitally of all — we have the right to say 'yes' or 'no' for ourselves. Many people with poor self-esteem think that they're not very important and that their views carry no weight. Is this you? If so, try to stop these destructive thoughts; because if you go around believing them, you'll encourage other people to believe them too. Instead, start thinking of yourself — with your individual DNA, fingerprints and mind — as someone who has rights and opinions and ideas that are just as valid as anyone else's. This will help you to improve your 'self-estimation.' Often we make ourselves unhappy because we go over and over mistakes that we have made. But we can feel happier, and improve our self-esteem, if we rethink those things we believe we have done wrong or badly sometime we may come to realise, we really did ok.… Anyway why shouldn't people want to know you? Go take a good long look in the mirror you will see that you are not too bad! xxx

Did you know that people with low self esteem are often the best friends, psychologists, social workers, nurses, caregivers, etc. because they have COMPASSION. All of us are different and have something to contribute. Do some research into some of these professions. You just might find your calling. I would never feel that I could give Bill Gates a few pointers on how to run his business, but so what? I raised 5 boys and they were always told "do something" While you are doing your "something" you will find what it is that you want to do. You know what you are good at and what interests you. Find your "something". We all have it. What else would make you feel better about yourself? Persue those things. Try not to be so hard on yourself. I went back to school at 40 to finish up something I had started years ago. I was old enough to be everybody's mom. When I got to the class I wanted to puke on my shoes. Then I felt the pressure of having to have the best grades, because I could not let some kid do better than me. Well I finished my classes and got my degree. I felt so good about myself.

yessssssssssss......... but i just be happy that someone love me een i think i'm not good enough for him...

Its so long ago since I dated anyone , never fancied anyone but hubby to be honest we met when I was 16 and him 19 , but I know you and you are a handsome sweet guy with a lovely careing personality so don't you dare ever think that ,just go get em pal xx

Everyone feels that way from time to time but you cant let it get you down. I dont have a problem with self esteem so I dont really know what to tell you but I hope someone on here can. I am sure you are a great person! You will find someone who will be crazy about you :)

I do sometimes feel that way, and as harsh as it may sound I honestly think you are the only person who can do anything about it. It is a really hard thing to do and does help a lot though if good things happen at least once in a while! I have always suffered with being really shy, but have learned the hard way to just get on with things, its not easy but I make myself face dificult situations that I'm really anxious about and know I could face serious rejection, but somehow when you start doing things I tend to find they're often not as bad as you first feared. That might sound like a pretty simple solution to something that is a huge problem, and in theory it is, if only we lived in a theoretical world, but facing the things you don't want to is a lot harder than it seems if you suffer from low self-esteem, as I'm sure you know very well. Don't know about you but I always replay really embarrassing moments over and over in my head and beat myself up over how I could have done things differently, even though I know all it does is make the problem worse. I have come to learn though that most people don't tend to view you as badly as you think they will, and most people are nosey, and whether they admit it or not are interested in finding out about people and usually are willing to give most people a chance before making lasting judgements. Something I always try and remember is that everyone has there faults, and it is those who seem the most confident are usually those who hide them very well or just don't acknowledge them, and hence are rather arrogant. You really do seem a nice guy wolfie and bet if you really wanted to could do anything you wanted, I know, easy for me so say, not so easy to do, but the only way to combat fears is to face them!

I feel that way all the time. Here's an exercise that helps me when I get really down on myself. Take a piece of notebook paper and start a list of positive traits that you possess. For example, I have on the top of my list "I am a good person". It seems simple, but just reading through the list when you are feeling low can help you to get things back into perspective. Another exercise that is helpful, is to keep a list of compliments that you have been given. No, it's not conceited, it's a reminder that you have worth. {hugs} Don't be so hard on yourself.

Well I feel this way a lot. Sometimes I wonder why bother to go on am I really needed in this world. Especially when I feel like I am no good and not worthy to anyone. I feel this way more then I care to imagine. The only thing that brings me out of this way of thinking is when I offer help to someone and they accept it. Also when a Friend is really depressed if I can say one good thing to Him or Her to get them out of Depression that helps me feel WORTHY and SPECIAL. I spend a lot of my Life wanting to help PEOPLE feel special about themselves because I have lacked that in my so long. I was diagnosed with a Chronic Illness so I do not look for PITY rather just a simple way to feel normal. To me helping others is my way of feeling normal.

You need to get your self esteem up somehow. I think everyone fears that from time to time but thinkof what you are missing out by not trying and by thinking such negative thoughts. I know I feel that way from time to time. I meet someone who seems to have their stuff together so much and wonder why would this person even waste a minute talking to me...but those are the times you have to tell yourself to shut up and realize we are ALL worth alot. We ALL have special things about us. Keep reminding yourself that you are such a great person that anyone should feel blessed to know you. Positive thinking can do alot!