Would you let your child be a goth?
By bicklelady
@bicklelady (1404)
United States
34 responses
@Darkwing (21583)
•
5 Feb 07
It would depend on how old the child is, I think. Some kids only dress like Goths to make a statement, or to keep up with their friends. Some even like rock groups who dress up in this way, and they tend to copy their dress code. In this case, it's a phase that passes. My granddaughter went through this phase for about a year, dressing in black and wearing heavy eye make-up, and big, Gothic type crosses as pendants. She also had some black leather wrist bands. But, I noticed a few days ago, that she's going back into her pastel colours, and mentioned it to her. She said, "Oh, I got fed up with that." Knowing kids, I expect that's because nobody took too much notice of her when she dressed outrageously. They soon get fed up if this is the case.
If, however, he is disappearing at strange times and coming back in a strange mood, and with tell-tale signs of self-abuse, then I would be somewhat worried.
@bicklelady (1404)
• United States
5 Feb 07
oh it is not my kids, It is some that come to my youth group. Thanks
2 people like this
@bicklelady (1404)
• United States
8 Feb 07
That is the thing about alot of the kids that come to my church. You never hear or see the parents. They just want to get rid of the kids for a while and they dont want to have to deal with the chruch. I will try tho. Thanks
1 person likes this
@tlex107250 (667)
• United States
6 Feb 07
Our middle daughter went through this phase about 1 1/2 yrs ago, and only lasted for about a year at most. And when she was about to enter high school, she decided that she didn't want to dress like that any more. I think that this is meerly a way that the kids are trying to express themselves, and that they mean no harm. I have met a few goth's, and they were some of the nicest kids that you could meet.
@bicklelady (1404)
• United States
15 Jul 08
As you said before. Maybe you mom is judging them before she meets them.
@bicklelady (1404)
• United States
7 Feb 07
Thanks, I just had a few kids come to my church and I have never been around anyone that dressed that way. I invited them to come back and was nice to them and everything. It just scared me. I am from a very small town in SC and you dont run across things like that.
1 person likes this
@hitzphillygirl (1235)
• United States
5 Feb 07
There's nothing wrong with it. Some children just go through it as a phase and think nothing of it. I did it, too.
3 people like this
@Darkwing (21583)
•
5 Feb 07
I don't know what to tell you on the purpose of being a goth, because it's just an individual's choice as far as I'm concerned. However, I've found a site for you on the Goth Culture, which you might find interesting. Go to:
http://www.religioustolerance.org/goth.htm
I hope this helps.
4 people like this
@mfpsassy (2827)
• United States
7 Feb 07
If all I had to worry about was my girls dressing goth I would be very thankful. With all we have to worry about as parents that one is not high on my list. I'm more worried about my 13 year old daughter being the only girl on the football team.
2 people like this
@bicklelady (1404)
• United States
8 Feb 07
I can understand how you feel. Could you just ask the guys to go easy on her? LOL. Good luck. Oh yea I have been checking out alot of the websights you give me. Thanks alot.
1 person likes this
@TiareF (241)
• United States
5 Feb 07
The purpose---To scare your parents!!! LOL
No, It's just a way for them to express themselves and their own individuality. I know when I was with my ex his boys were into it and they thought we wouldn't understand.
I had to break it to them that they didn't invent goth. We were wearing all black and black eyliner and lipstick when I was in school. It's just something old to seperate themselves from a crowd they don't want to be a part of or to be part of a crowd they do want to be part of. Nothing to be scared of though.
@bicklelady (1404)
• United States
5 Feb 07
When I done the black lip stick and eye liner I was called a punk. I was just wondering? Thanks
2 people like this
@bicklelady (1404)
• United States
8 Feb 07
Well as I said, I am from a really small town in South Carolina. We never see kids dressing up like that. I mean I called them and asked them if they was coming back to church tonight. I hope I will see them again. To me a kid is a kid. I was just interduced to it. Sorry my spelling is alful.
1 person likes this
@rosie_123 (6113)
•
7 Feb 07
Well I reckon all kids go through phases, it's part of growing up, and finding their own identity, and it makes them feel part of a group at school too. I see nothing wrong with it, as long as they are clean, and don't miss school! I was a real hippy growing up in the 70's - barefoot, and flowers in my hair, the whole lot - and I don't tink it did me any harm! And my friend's son was a real Goth, even down to the black lipstick, when he was 16, and he is a Bank Manager now! LOL!It's all quite harmless in my opinion,
@bicklelady (1404)
• United States
8 Feb 07
I grew up in the 70/80's and ours was punk. It was almost the same.
1 person likes this
@joey_matthews (8354)
•
7 Feb 07
At the end of the day it's really my children choices, i can only support them 100% with what they choose and personally i see nothing wrong with it.
(Not saying you do) i'd rather my children be goth, sk8ers etc then a chav with a stupid hate going around picking on people.
Kudos!
~Joey
(this is all people who wear sports clothes)
@bicklelady (1404)
• United States
8 Feb 07
yea me too. There are alot of racism around and I dont aprove of that. So yea id rather them dress that way and love everybody.
1 person likes this
@taramoon (740)
• Spain
7 Feb 07
Lucky for me the fase hasn't started where i live, but no i don't think i would let my children out dressed as goths they are freaky enough as it is with out any help...lol...but then again if we look back to our old days in mini skirts and boo tubes...do you remember your parents saying you aren't going out dressed like that...pmsl
@bicklelady (1404)
• United States
8 Feb 07
Oh I remember coming home after I dyed my hair purple and my dad blowing a gasket.LOL
1 person likes this
@faerieingrey (323)
• United States
7 Feb 07
Hee, don't be scared. It's no more threatening than the girls who idolize and try to imitate celebrities and such. It's actually relatively common for teens to go through the phase - I know I did! It is all about the dress, music, attitude... and nothing about any kind of real, negative actions. I actually find the dress much more appealing and less offensive than what a lot of young girls are wearing! I'm glad that you seem to be open minded.
2 people like this
@bicklelady (1404)
• United States
7 Feb 07
yea you are right. I would rather see alot of black clothing then some girls hinny.
2 people like this
@CraftyCorner (5600)
• United States
7 Feb 07
as a parent, i'd worry more about things hidden than things out in the open (clothes).
2 people like this
@phillygirl606 (1112)
• United States
20 Jan 08
It's Just a phase that most kids grow out of. I was one of those kids when I was a teen. It's a way for them to express themselves and theres nothing wrong with self expression. It amazes me that when a kid dreeses preppy a parents doesn't think nothing of it. Even when A teen dresses hip hop it ok. Boy wearing theirs jeans with there boxers sticking out and there pants falling down. Thats accepted as well. When I see these kids I just want to hand them a belt, lol. But when something is different and people look at as strange it is not accepted. I myself was goth, and everyone I hung around with was goth, none of us were trouble makers. Most goths may look scary or creepy to someone but most are the nicest people. We never started trouble and were never in trouble with the law. So all I am basically saying is Do no judge a book by their cover. WHen my son reaches them teenage years and wants to be goth, I'll help him paint his finger nails black. It's not an issue with me. Just as long as he keeps out of trouble and is respectful than I do not see a problem with the way he ay want to dress
2 people like this
@monochrome_lie (407)
• Canada
20 Jan 08
Admittedly I am a wee bit biased, but I would definitely let my kids dress goth if they wanted to. I am a very firm believer in the freedom of self expression and I think it is very normal and healthy for kids to want to experiment.
2 people like this
@bicklelady (1404)
• United States
19 Jul 08
Well when I wrote this. My youngest son had short hair. Now it is down past his shoulders. Everyone gives him a hard time about it.
@bicklelady (1404)
• United States
22 Jul 08
It was a long long time ago when I was in elementry school. I was made fun of really bad. I was made fun of because I was sooooo ugly. My oldest son was made fun of because he is 6'6" tall and really skinny. He got to the point where he would not take nothing off of anyone and people left him alone. My youngest son has alot of friends. They are from different groups of people. He say's he is not just in one group and gets along with everyone. I am not at school with him so I really don't know. I do know that kids can be really terrable toward others that are different. I tried to raise them to treat people the way they want to be treated. I hope he does that.
@monochrome_lie (407)
• Canada
19 Jul 08
I don't know when the last time you were in elementary or highschool was, but kids are kind of mean to each other. There will always be something to give someone a hard time about. If your kid isn't the one getting the hard time, it's likely they're the one giving it. But again, just my (admittedly very biased) opinion as someone who was bullied a lot in school. And I was bullied before I was goth. If anything, kids left me alone a little more after that.
1 person likes this
@Darkwing (21583)
•
18 Mar 07
In most cases, it's just a phase kids go through. They try out being a Goth because their friends do it, and they want to create effect, but most of them come out of it and go back to the conventional ways.
Goths are just like every other cult or religion. There's nothing wrong with them. They live to their beliefs and let others live to theirs. Naturally those who stay do so for a purpose, in that they believe in what they are doing. So, I wouldn't worry too much about it.
Brightest Blessings.
1 person likes this
@Galena (9110)
•
18 Mar 07
it's not like a cult or religion though. it's a style of dress and music, mostly today. the architechture and literature aren't so important to most goths now. how people dress and what they listen to doesn't really effect what they beleive in. I've known a lot of Christian Goths, and it has to be said, to me they seemed closer to what I view as true Christians than a lot of more normal looking people. they took the positive side of Christianity and were probably better people for it. none of the intolerance you can often encounter. one I was friends with for many years was a Vicars son. I am a Pagan. he never felt a need to preach or convert me, just to be my friend.
people don't go goth because their friends do it. a lot of my friends didn't. people wear clothes that they like and listen to music that they like. if these clothes and music fall within what is viewed as goth, then they are considered goth.
only the most shallow person would think "oh I want to be a goth" and go out and buy music because it's goth, and clothes because they are goth. it's more organic than that. people buy clothes because they like them and listen to music that they like.
when people get into goth type things, their beleifs stay the same.
1 person likes this
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
31 Jan 08
I look good in black, but I would not let my children dress like that, so dark and depressing. It is as if they gave up on life and everything is despairing. As for where goth came from, I have no idea. Maybe the old Goths in history dressed that way, but I doubt it. I think they borrowed a term because they imagined it. It is more like dressing as if you were a vampire, or a zombie. Not scary because I do not believe in such things, but looking like a corpse makes one give up on life.
1 person likes this
@lisa101 (1362)
• United States
7 Feb 07
I have no idea why kids are wanting to express their selves like this. I know that i would never allow one of my kids to do this. My son has friends at school that are gothic and i was scared for a little while that he may try it but i realized he is country through and through and wouldn't be interested in that lifestyle for hisself.
2 people like this
@bicklelady (1404)
• United States
8 Feb 07
See that is about the whole town I live in. We are country. There is nothing to do around here for the teens to do except four wheeling,fishing,swimming and some of them will go cow tipping. thanks for your response.
1 person likes this
@xParanoiax (6987)
• United States
24 Feb 07
If I had any children (which thank Goddess I don't I'm only a teenager! lol) I would let them, yes. Why? Becuase the Gothic subculture is mostly a very peaceful, healthy one.
It's ackowledging balance usually. The contrasts between the light and darkness. Being AWARE of how life really is and finding beauty in things most people can't. They're very admirable.
The make-up, the music, the style, the history is just a part of the lifetstyle..and it varies from person to person.
Most kids who don't know what the heck Goth is (and that's a hard enough question to answer) will go through it quickly as if it was just a fad, but kids who truly know what it's about will probbaly be that way for the whole of their lives. Or at least for most of it.
1 person likes this
@xParanoiax (6987)
• United States
17 Mar 07
Kind of but not quite. Being goth is like..I don't know.. a taste in things. A taste for balance. It can be a very spiritual thing..but it's not in truth a religion, it's just a way of living. Like feng shui or yoga..you know?
Not even all goths wear black heh.
1 person likes this
@poppoppop111 (5731)
• Canada
7 Feb 07
well it all depends. i was a goth when i was in high school but i had the attitude to go with it. i think if my daughter wanted to be i'd let her only if she didn't have the attitude. if she can still be a nice, friendly person and it doesn't affect her school work and she has nice friends are whatever i'd let her look the way she wants.
2 people like this
@thunderofsins (738)
• United States
7 Feb 07
I was goth for years. Of course I'd let my kid dress "like that", just as much as i'd let them wear any other color! I have no problem with children expressing themselves and showing their individuality, especially through something as harmless as clothes and jewelry!
2 people like this
@bicklelady (1404)
• United States
8 Feb 07
Yea you are right. The only thing my boys wanted to do was wear ther pants almost down around there knees.LOL I expressed my self when I was that age so I guess it is there turn.
1 person likes this
