Did you give having children a lot of thought?

No to be honest, I was the person in my group of friends that was always against having children. "NOT ME", was my motto. Then at 26 years of age, it was me, unplanned mind you, but none the less, pregnant. When the test was confirmed at the Doctors office, I broke down in tears. The nurse patted my shoulder and said, "Oh Dear, is this an unwanted pregnancy?". Those words shot into me like a knife. I grabbed my stomach and lean back away from her as if she was going to take it and declared right then and there, yes it was wanted. At that moment, I never had anymore regrets nor tears over it. I have two little girls now, and no I haven't any regrets. They are my reasons for living, improving my self and struggling everyday to over come issues. They are my hopes and dreams in real life walking and talking right there in front me. They are amazing and wonderful. I went from having no purpose, to being their super hero, how could I regret that?

I gave having kids a GREAT DEAL of thought. I decided not to have children. I take a lot of medication which could kill or acutely damage a preborn child. I have disabilities and a tiny income. I don't have the ability to give a child what he or she will need and is intitled to.

No, I don't believe they do consider everything or much of anything before deciding to have children! I have given much thought to having a child and what it would mean; namely that it won't be about *ME* anymore but about a helpless life *I* chose to bring into the world. What I want will always be second if I decide to have a child.

I personally have given quite a bit of thought into whether I ever want to bring a child into this world or not. I really would be just as happy not to. With the costs of living today I would want to give my child the best, and it is so hard to even have enough money to get by as it is. I also fear for sending a child of mine into public school, with all that seems to go on in that setting nowadays, and I am not sure that I could provide home schooling or afford to send a child of mine to a private schooling situation. I think that the only way I will end up having a child or children is if I meet someone who is very passionate about bringing a child into this world. I would definitely consider having a child if my true love really wanted one, but otherwise I think that I would be happier and feel better about not bringing a child into this already overpopulated world.

I thought I had given a lot of thought to having kids. But, in reality I had absolutely no clue. I had my first at 20 years old. Yeah, you read about the sleepless nights and colic...but you have NO idea until you experience them and that is just the beginning! It gets worse.I think I had my kids too young. I do not ever regret having them. I think it would have been more wise to have them later so I didn't have to struggle through school (like I am now). All in all the positives outweigh the negative. When I was a teen--I wish I had been required to care for a baby for 2 or so days--alone. That is the PERFECT teenage pregnancy deterrent!!!! LOL

I put a LOT of thought into having a child. I have a neurological disorder that can be passed down as well as a list of physical disorders. It was very important to me that I take those things into consideration before having children. My husband I decided that the risk was worth it one time. We are now expecting a child this summer. We will not be having any more biological children (we do plan to adopt a couple children). We both feel that it is a good idea for us to have one biological child but not any more. I have too many medical issues and we both feel that this is not a good world and we do not want to be responsible for bringing more than one child into it. The children that we adopt will already be in this world so adopting them is different than having another one.

I never really thought much about it. I knew I wanted kids and that was it. 4 months after getting engaged I was pregnant. We weren't trying to get pregnant but we weren't preventing it either. We now have 4 children. There are days I wonder what my life would have been like had I never had them but I do not regret them. I may say that when I am really depressed but I say a lot of stuff when I am depressed (sadly). I don't know what I would do without my children. They are my life and my only reason for getting up in the morning (I mean, someone has to feed them lol).

I agree with you. I don't think too many people give the whole idea of parenting much thought. I'm willing to bet most kids are "oops" babies. That doesn't mean the kid's not wanted, it just means the kid wasn't planned. Anyway, I'm someone who has actually given the whole parenting thing some thought. Well, it actually didn't take much for me to realize that there is NO WAY that I ever want children. I'm just glad I figured out I'm not cut out to be a mom before it actually happened.

Yes I have given it a great deal of thought over the years. My first husband never wanted children he called them rugrats, although he liked other peoples kids. I never pushed him so that was that. I have since met my partner and low and behold although he likes kids he does'nt want any kids either. I often wonder what life would have been like if I had had kids, but I don't regret not having any. With the way the world is now it makes you wonder what kind of a life they would have.

I always loved children and wanted to have children I always used to fear the thought if I don't get children then what will i do etc, I loved them so much, but I did not Know that along with children you get a package of a lot of responsibilities of work all the things which you do previously come to a halt, you are so busy , tired, all the time doing so many things, but still the joy of having children is great but it is good to analyze it first and then make up your mind which I did not do, so I have little regrets about it but no regrets about having children, I love them more now.

I have given it a lot of thought. It's the reason why I haven't had a child yet. I plan on being stable with my life before I go ahead and have children...even though sometimes I envy people younger than me who have already had children. Sometimes I think I'd like to be fairly young, or at least young enough to partake in activities with my adolescent child...at this rate though, I'll be 40 when my child hits 18 years. Perhaps it's not as bad as I sometimes imagine. Regardless..i think waiting is the best thing for me. Some people can just handle having kids at any time. I don't think I'm financially stable enough yet. I do think however, that I am sufficiently responsible to take care of offspring. I think I would be a great dad...and hope that I get to live that through it's entirety. Thanks for making me think about this...nice post!

I gave a tremendous amount of thought about having my son. So much to the extent that I was 32 yrs. old when I had him. I Calculate everything in my head , before Jumping in. I was married in 1996 , I planned not to have any children untill after 5 years of successful Marriage. When that goal had been met...then I felt safe to have my Son , knowing he'd grow up in a loving Fight-free home. I had specific Ideas about how my life was going to take shape. As to the latter part of the question , I do concede it is hard at my age 37 to sometimes connect w/ my child. He's only 4 and very demanding. But then the moment comes when your child looks at you in that " special " way and the walls just come tumblin' down.

I always knew I would have children if it was possible. I never thought it was expected of me. I just am a child person. I love them and have alot of love to give!

I have wanted to have children all my life. I got married very young(20) and right after that.. we decided we wanted to have a baby. Got pregnant right away and now I have a beautiful 7 week old son. I deffinately think people need to sit down and discuss whether or not they are ready to have kids. It is a very big responsibility and very expensive. You need to make sure you are at a good point in your life emotionally because pregnancy and caring for a newborn can really take a toll on your emotions and also finacially.

when we get married we always think of having children, we wish to have as many kids as we want, but sad to say we did not have even one. so my husband and i decided to adopt. as of now we have no regret about having a kid, as we think that kids are blessing from god.

I have always wanted to have kids and when I was in my 20's and struggling with "the meaning of life" and what it was that we humans are put on earth for, it dawned on me that life was (for me) about procreation. Having said that I didn't just go out and have a baby straight away - my partner and I had things that we wanted to achieve in life (travel, buy a home, stability in work, get married etc)so we both planned and saved and did those things and now we have a beautiful 1 year old daughter. I think before you have kids many people have a romantised idea of what it is going to be like. I don't think until you have been there that you understand the full implications of sleep deprivation, not being able to do things at the drop of a hat like you did pre baby, how much a baby can turn your day upside down etc. Even on the bad days, when baby is sick and crying and demanding I have never regreted having our baby (and I look forward to the day that I will be lucky enough to have #2 and #3 (fingers crossed)). Of course there are days that I am tired and short tempered and I feel sorry for my child because I feel like a "bad" parent but then I just try and do better and I think that sometimes that is the key to being a good parent (accepting your faults and trying to improve yourself). It is a shame however that not everyone approaches parenthood in the same way and there are plenty of babies out their that are lacking love and security and the basic necessities of life. In some countries you need a license to have a pet but anyone can become a parent - makes you think that sometimes our priorities aren't quite right when it comes to the welfare of children......

My boyfriend and I talk about this sometimes. Ofcourse when it comes about having children, you're having a lot of thoughts. Maybe it's also depends to a person, because I heard a lot of them don't want to have kids at all.

nope. I never gave it a thought, until i was pregnant! Having children was just a part of life, and if you think too hard, you could talk yourself right out of it!

Why would anyone want to have a parasite? kidding, i mean a baby :) i have been reading exchange of emails in one of my groups about the pros and cons of having a baby. most mothers are very articulate in expressing their views and quite encouraging and some even humorous. i find it hard to share my take on the subject because it really is a very personal one. what maybe a plus to me may prove to you otherwise. from the start, i knew that i wanted to get married and bear not just one but at least two child. hubby and i discussed this even before we got married and planned properly, financially, spiritually, emotionally but i guess no matter how you prepared you are never prepared enough. "Deciding to have a child is like choosing between the blue pill and red pill in the movie, "The Matrix." After choosing the blue pill, will you decide you hadn't? But you can't, cuz there's no looking back." did i regret it, nope. every smile, laugh, giggle from my child is all worth it :)

no. maybe i should have! hahahahahaha! on the serious side, i don't regret having children. they really are a joy. i have to admit, that there are times i wonder what ever made me decide to have them. but when i get the hugs, those thoughts go away. :)